Deaths and Inheritance

Namon

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For the sake of simplicity I'll just say my wife's grandpa (it's more complicated than that in actuality involving step people) died in 2016. Dude was worth around the same as your grandmother, but somehow they had everything set up in this weird corporation structure and it's just being desolved somehow to the child companies his kids own. I thought this was how all people in that level of wealth handled it, because the way they talk it is, so I was surprised that yours wasn't and even potentially involved a situation with no will. I know fuck all about any of this, but they have lawyers and accountants six ways to Sundays on all of this, so I'm pretty sure it's legit. I'm really glad it worked out, because even in this iron clad situation things have gotten a bit ugly and it sucks. Glad I can just say "It's not mine" and move on.
 

Cad

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Hoping people won’t get ugly about money is like hoping the sky isn’t blue and water isn’t wet.
 
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Rod-138

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We set up trusts for folks and it’s totally worth the 1-2% to avoid the family headache
 
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yeahthatisneathuh

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@Hateyou

My Grandma did end up having her assets well structured. So most of the bloodletting was avoided. Still had a bunch of distant relatives come into town and try and pry this or that from it that they knew she had. So that was good.

My shitbag older sister moved into my Grandma's old house under the auspices of, "staying a few days to help out." She's still there though and my dad hasn't had the heart to forcibly evict her yet. But that will be happening sooner or later. Nothing was left to her and she's salty about that as she, "never had a home to call her own" or whatever dumb shit she likes to say. Since it just so happens my Grandma's house is vacant at the moment she will milk it for all she can and attempt to get it for herself.

My father intends to keep the house which complicates that part. But I guess it's just general family friction now. Hopefully my older sister wanders off eventually back to whatever place she was at.

Oh man, the sister thing sounds like a disaster in the making. Both sets of my grandparents are still alive, 80s and 90s, and both sides are rich as hell. They're the kind that don't give anything though, like they didn't pay for my school and I had to borrow money to get an operation I needed that I'm still paying back. But back on topic, I've had relatives pre-tell me they're going to try and do exactly what your sister does when my grandparents pass, as they are sitting on beach/other property worth loads. My suspicion is they will leave it all to charity or to my parents and we all get nothing so I'm interested in seeing how the planned squatting plays out.
 

moonarchia

The Scientific Shitlord
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Hoping people won’t get ugly about money is like hoping the sky isn’t blue and water isn’t wet.

Always depends on the people involved, but in general you are right. Greedy assholes gonna asshole.
 

Seven Out

Trakanon Raider
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2 stories from personal experience:

My grandparents on my father's side were worth around $400k. My dad helped care of their finances because they were both well into their 80's. They had a will in place that my aunt (the family fuckup) would get a third of their estate, and all the grandchildren (4 of us) would split the other two-thirds. Well my grandfather passed first, leaving my grandmother living another 4-5 years. My aunt swooped right in there to take care of her once she was widowed (the only daughter, so they did have a close bond). When my grandmother became sick, my father let me know the will had been changed by my "grandmother" recently. My aunt walked away with everything. My sister and I shrugged, and I never even asked how my other cousins took it (I suspect my aunt's son was given some through her). I wasn't gonna sink to her level and fight family over money.

My father passed away last year. My mother is alive and healthy so she of course just kept their trust going in her name. The fuckery is my dad took care of all of the expenses their entire 40 year marriage, and between the two of them there are like 12 siblings, and about 30 nieces and nephews. Their estate is pretty sizable (on par with OP's grandmother), and its well known throughout the family. Now with my mom being in control, and always been the bleeding heart of the family, the amount of people that have come a knocking has been ridiculous. I've already told 2 uncles to fuck off and never ask her for money again. I told my sister not to expect much of a inheritance, its really sad.
 
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TJT

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2 stories from personal experience:

My grandparents on my father's side were worth around $400k. My dad helped care of their finances because they were both well into their 80's. They had a will in place that my aunt (the family fuckup) would get a third of their estate, and all the grandchildren (4 of us) would split the other two-thirds. Well my grandfather passed first, leaving my grandmother living another 4-5 years. My aunt swooped right in there to take care of her once she was widowed (the only daughter, so they did have a close bond). When my grandmother became sick, my father let me know the will had been changed by my "grandmother" recently. My aunt walked away with everything. My sister and I shrugged, and I never even asked how my other cousins took it (I suspect my aunt's son was given some through her). I wasn't gonna sink to her level and fight family over money.

My father passed away last year. My mother is alive and healthy so she of course just kept their trust going in her name. The fuckery is my dad took care of all of the expenses their entire 40 year marriage, and between the two of them there are like 12 siblings, and about 30 nieces and nephews. Their estate is pretty sizable (on par with OP's grandmother), and its well known throughout the family. Now with my mom being in control, and always been the bleeding heart of the family, the amount of people that have come a knocking has been ridiculous. I've already told 2 uncles to fuck off and never ask her for money again. I told my sister not to expect much of a inheritance, its really sad.

Sorry dude. My Grandma's only real saving grace is that my Grandfather was indeed a lawyer for 50 years and planned a lot of this in advance. My uncle died when I was a kid in like 1992 or something and he had no children. My Grandparent's respective families did try to do some stuff but they've never really lived near to us and have been out of sight out of mind for her entire adult life. So it wasn't too difficult to keep them at bay.

Having the issue be exclusively with my older sister is kind of shitty. But it is certainly better than it could have been.
 

TJT

Mr. Poopybutthole
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Adding another episode to this.

My father passed away in 2021 unexpectedly. He was the sole inheritor of the initial posting I mentioned with my grandmother. All of which now went to my mother (68 and in good health). She keeps busy and works at a golf course to occupy her time.

She's been active in getting rid of my father's extensive assets. I don't mean just in terms of monetary value per se he just had a ton of industrial grade machines from a lifetime in maritime industries. Boat engines, underwater welding shit, commercial fishing equipment, commercial fish freezers, on and on it goes. He also had friends all up and down the West Coast so getting these things and selling them has been pretty annoying. As he was very old school and didn't really care about keeping perfect books but he did maintain very extensive personal relationships and so far pretty much everyone we know of has been really straightforward with us in selling off stuff they've had on their property for years. Guess the man did have an impact on people and that makes me happy.

However, while my Mom isn't the most material person I have 3 sisters. The eldest and the youngest are 100% angling to be complete mooches the rest of their lives. While I do get along with my siblings and I understand my mom's position. What do we do exactly? I have no problem being the hard discipline kind of guy but after my grandmother passed away my parents moved into my grandmothers house and my youngest sister lived in our childhood home when she moved back to the area. Now the oldest is doing the same due to another relationship failing.

Neither of them have jobs and the properties are owned outright and my mom doesn't want to make them homeless. The oldest one will actually help with stuff but the youngest one has 2 kids and is completely useless these days (IDK why exactly). She took our father's death 10x harder than anyone else did and I do have sympathy. But she quit her job just sits at home taking care of her kids living off of my mom. Zero desire to do anything and the oldest one is barely better.

They are going to latch on and my mom doesn't have the heart to do anything about it because she doesn't really care about money at this point.

I've told her to at least make them start paying their own utilities and don't give them money when they beg to pay them. From there we can talk about making them cover the house taxes at least.

It's going to be a long and shitty journey from here on this I think. What rustles me is that they all witnessed my father managing a close family friend's situation that's alarmingly similar. Two shitty siblings take advantage of their parents.
 

moonarchia

The Scientific Shitlord
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Adding another episode to this.

My father passed away in 2021 unexpectedly. He was the sole inheritor of the initial posting I mentioned with my grandmother. All of which now went to my mother (68 and in good health). She keeps busy and works at a golf course to occupy her time.

She's been active in getting rid of my father's extensive assets. I don't mean just in terms of monetary value per se he just had a ton of industrial grade machines from a lifetime in maritime industries. Boat engines, underwater welding shit, commercial fishing equipment, commercial fish freezers, on and on it goes. He also had friends all up and down the West Coast so getting these things and selling them has been pretty annoying. As he was very old school and didn't really care about keeping perfect books but he did maintain very extensive personal relationships and so far pretty much everyone we know of has been really straightforward with us in selling off stuff they've had on their property for years. Guess the man did have an impact on people and that makes me happy.

However, while my Mom isn't the most material person I have 3 sisters. The eldest and the youngest are 100% angling to be complete mooches the rest of their lives. While I do get along with my siblings and I understand my mom's position. What do we do exactly? I have no problem being the hard discipline kind of guy but after my grandmother passed away my parents moved into my grandmothers house and my youngest sister lived in our childhood home when she moved back to the area. Now the oldest is doing the same due to another relationship failing.

Neither of them have jobs and the properties are owned outright and my mom doesn't want to make them homeless. The oldest one will actually help with stuff but the youngest one has 2 kids and is completely useless these days (IDK why exactly). She took our father's death 10x harder than anyone else did and I do have sympathy. But she quit her job just sits at home taking care of her kids living off of my mom. Zero desire to do anything and the oldest one is barely better.

They are going to latch on and my mom doesn't have the heart to do anything about it because she doesn't really care about money at this point.

I've told her to at least make them start paying their own utilities and don't give them money when they beg to pay them. From there we can talk about making them cover the house taxes at least.

It's going to be a long and shitty journey from here on this I think. What rustles me is that they all witnessed my father managing a close family friend's situation that's alarmingly similar. Two shitty siblings take advantage of their parents.
Your mom needs to decide what she wants to do with her stuff first and foremost. Sell the childhood home if she doesn't plan to live in it again. Give the sister living there an opportunity to buy it at a fair price by a set time (6 months or so?) after which she needs to vacate so mom can get it listed. Help her get the money she has left after all your dad's shit is sold off and the house is sold into investment accounts. Make sure she has her will drawn up yesterday. With 3 leeches you are going to be in for a long and ugly family battle otherwise. Mixing family and money has led to more than a few murders in recorded history.
 

chthonic-anemos

bitchute.com/video/EvyOjOORbg5l/
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Adding another episode to this.

My father passed away in 2021 unexpectedly. He was the sole inheritor of the initial posting I mentioned with my grandmother. All of which now went to my mother (68 and in good health). She keeps busy and works at a golf course to occupy her time.

She's been active in getting rid of my father's extensive assets. I don't mean just in terms of monetary value per se he just had a ton of industrial grade machines from a lifetime in maritime industries. Boat engines, underwater welding shit, commercial fishing equipment, commercial fish freezers, on and on it goes. He also had friends all up and down the West Coast so getting these things and selling them has been pretty annoying. As he was very old school and didn't really care about keeping perfect books but he did maintain very extensive personal relationships and so far pretty much everyone we know of has been really straightforward with us in selling off stuff they've had on their property for years. Guess the man did have an impact on people and that makes me happy.

However, while my Mom isn't the most material person I have 3 sisters. The eldest and the youngest are 100% angling to be complete mooches the rest of their lives. While I do get along with my siblings and I understand my mom's position. What do we do exactly? I have no problem being the hard discipline kind of guy but after my grandmother passed away my parents moved into my grandmothers house and my youngest sister lived in our childhood home when she moved back to the area. Now the oldest is doing the same due to another relationship failing.

Neither of them have jobs and the properties are owned outright and my mom doesn't want to make them homeless. The oldest one will actually help with stuff but the youngest one has 2 kids and is completely useless these days (IDK why exactly). She took our father's death 10x harder than anyone else did and I do have sympathy. But she quit her job just sits at home taking care of her kids living off of my mom. Zero desire to do anything and the oldest one is barely better.

They are going to latch on and my mom doesn't have the heart to do anything about it because she doesn't really care about money at this point.

I've told her to at least make them start paying their own utilities and don't give them money when they beg to pay them. From there we can talk about making them cover the house taxes at least.

It's going to be a long and shitty journey from here on this I think. What rustles me is that they all witnessed my father managing a close family friend's situation that's alarmingly similar. Two shitty siblings take advantage of their parents.
Friend of mine had a similar situation develop where, even after death, the womenfolk still use this dead woman's social media accounts to grift donations on holidays.

But she had basically enabled the situation so that there would always be little kids running around the house. The worst part is that, as time went on, female group-think turned it into how he was somehow wrong for not engaging in the same behavior. :emoji_slight_frown:

Goodluck!
 

TJT

Mr. Poopybutthole
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Your mom needs to decide what she wants to do with her stuff first and foremost. Sell the childhood home if she doesn't plan to live in it again. Give the sister living there an opportunity to buy it at a fair price by a set time (6 months or so?) after which she needs to vacate so mom can get it listed. Help her get the money she has left after all your dad's shit is sold off and the house is sold into investment accounts. Make sure she has her will drawn up yesterday. With 3 leeches you are going to be in for a long and ugly family battle otherwise. Mixing family and money has led to more than a few murders in recorded history.
They wouldn't be able to buy it in 20 years of trying. They both haven't worked in year(s).
 

Arative

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What is your mom's plan for them after she passes? They just going to inherit a shitton of money? If that is the case, sounds like they would probably blow through it in months.
 

moonarchia

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They wouldn't be able to buy it in 20 years of trying. They both haven't worked in year(s).
Then she can go get a job and rent something. Your mom should be focusing on herself at that age, not coddling leeches who aren't contributing to the household. Like Arative said, what are her plans for when she dies? If there's no will then the 4 of you are going to have to divvy it all up anyways, and your sister who can't afford it will still be out on the streets. Better to get her ass moving now so she can at least try to get some sort of functional career up and running.
 

Borzak

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My grandmother put her house and land in my name twenty years before she died. I paid the taxes and such. She did not want her son to get it. Not because they didn't get along but she knew he wouldn't take care of things etc...
 
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Unidin

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Depending on the level of wealth your family has and if your mom wants to support your sisters before and after her death, an irrevocable trust with either you or a 3rd party as the trustee handling distributions is an option. When my grandparents passed, my mother was recovering from drug issues and they set up this up to where she had to go to my Aunt for distributions. She ended up blowing through it eventually, but it took much longer than had she not had this setup.
 

TJT

Mr. Poopybutthole
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What is your mom's plan for them after she passes? They just going to inherit a shitton of money? If that is the case, sounds like they would probably blow through it in months.
My mom's plan is to just even split 25% to all of us. So it would be a sizable amount to all of us.

What I don't want is to have my youngest sister and oldest sister just sit there at her house for the next 20 years or so while she 100% supports both of them. While also being cunts who just start demanding shit because they will somehow believe that they earned it or some shit by just being there. My middle sister and myself do well enough for ourselves and don't really have an interest in changing inheritance nor fighting over money and wills.

But my other two sisters don't really have a choice and their options become fewer by the day. At this point they'd be career waitresses who just haven't worked in years. I just don't want to see my mom exploited for the remainder of her life to support two mooches but I know she doesn't have the heart to kick them out. Compounded by the fact that I don't live there and can't directly help in it so much. I don't want to have a blood feud with my own sisters who, up until this point, I never had a problem with.
 

BrutulTM

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Don't really think there's much you can do, especially from a distance. Tell your Mom that you think she's allowing them to ruin their own lives by continuing to support them and the kindest thing she could do for them is get them off the tit and doing something productive with their lives. After that it's pretty much up to her.
 
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Lanx

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While also being cunts who just start demanding shit because they will somehow believe that they earned it or some shit by just being there.
too late? dude have you read your previous posts? ha

i mean you predicated that one sister would sneak in and squat at one house already
 

TJT

Mr. Poopybutthole
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too late? dude have you read your previous posts? ha

i mean you predicated that one sister would sneak in and squat at one house already
I understand that. It didn't pan out exactly as I predicted but seems to be worse than I initially had thought it would be as the younger sister is now also doing it. Made worse by my father passing away.