Depression

Sadre Spinegnawer

<Bronze Donator>
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There are no T treatments that are self administered. Even the shots require you to come in every week or two

thnx. I thought we were talking about self-medding. I've always been worse when I tried to "figure it out myself."

Maybe I was lucky with my p-doc. 12 years!!! And still going every 4-6 months. I haven't had "the bad thoughts" barely at all in months now. It's still there, oh fuck yeh, it's still there. But I seem to be outside its direct clutches.

Depression is paralysis from the mind down. I'll be dancing on its grave, and all are invited.
 

Sadre Spinegnawer

<Bronze Donator>
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On the one hand, people who mess with benzos who do not psychiatrically need them need to realize they are messing with something more dangerous than they might think, but on the other hand, anyone who has a correct prescription for them, if they don't already know to be extremely careful, well, fuck, they are probably not mentally unwell, just really dumb. I take my 3mg's of clonopin a day. Emergencies very rare, 4mg. And then I try to back down and stay down. Anything above 4mg flirts with a super-nasty and fast tolerance curve. And we all know what the withdrawals from benzoes feel like, right? The exact thing you took them for. No thank you!
 

Foler

Forum Martyr
<Gold Donor>
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On the one hand, people who mess with benzos who do not psychiatrically need them need to realize they are messing with something more dangerous than they might think, but on the other hand, anyone who has a correct prescription for them, if they don't already know to be extremely careful, well, fuck, they are probably not mentally unwell, just really dumb. I take my 3mg's of clonopin a day. Emergencies very rare, 4mg. And then I try to back down and stay down. Anything above 4mg flirts with a super-nasty and fast tolerance curve. And we all know what the withdrawals from benzoes feel like, right? The exact thing you took them for. No thank you!
Klonopin specifically has real nasty withdrawals. From my understanding klonopins are more of a daily treatment while xanax and valium are usually as needed. Yeah i mean i feel like what they're stating is nothing new with benzos. I dunno anymore, americans run on prescription drugs i think. Does it even matter anymore?
 
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Sadre Spinegnawer

<Bronze Donator>
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Klonopin specifically has real nasty withdrawals. From my understanding klonopins are more of a daily treatment while xanax and valium are usually as needed. Yeah i mean i feel like what they're stating is nothing new with benzos. I dunno anymore, americans run on prescription drugs i think. Does it even matter anymore?

Yes it does matter!!! If you are taking meds that actually work and significantly improve your quality of life, and this is all happening under solid medical supervision, it's a win.

That is what a psychiatrist is for. A good psychiatrist easily knows the difference between "this person is just dependent" and "this person needs to be on these meds." And, they work with you so that you move away from the former and to whatever the latter is.
 
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Foler

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Yes it does matter!!! If you are taking meds that actually work and significantly improve your quality of life, and this is all happening under solid medical supervision, it's a win.

That is what a psychiatrist is for. A good psychiatrist easily knows the difference between "this person is just dependent" and "this person needs to be on these meds." And, they work with you so that you move away from the former and to whatever the latter is.
I completely agree. I think I was just feeling cynical about it.
 
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Tide27

Trakanon Raider
431
2,858
25d 9h 1m
Had to go to a funeral a few weeks ago for a close friend of mine's wife. She committed suicide. She got laid off. He's not doing any better, especially after getting laid off, too. Our network of friends has tried to do their best to support him and his family by trying to stay in touch on the day-to-day basis and what have you. There's not a whole hell of a lot you can do for somebody in that type of circumstance other than be present, and listen.

The lockdown bullshit may not be the direct cause of his families horrendous situation, but it sure is fuck didn't help.

BoozeCube BoozeCube you are 100% correct on the danger and disparity between deaths that have nothing to do with the China virus.
I very rarely post anything about my RL situation, and probably still shouldnt, no matter how embarrassing my life turned out to be.

Having said that, I am in the same situation as this person. I left the Army back in 2004 after back to back deployments to Korea and Iraq and thought Id get a nice job having all that experience when I came home. What I was met with was rejection after rejection of any job offers that was not fast food. I even got turned down as just a general stocker at Best Buy ( applied because of the 5%+ wholesale discount and had a ton of cash saved from the deployments ) . I left the military as an E-5 and my first job was flipping bugers at Krystal for $5.25 an hour. Went from working on $8m+ dollar helicopters, to a flatop making 49 cent cheeseburgers. Every time I applied for anything at all that wasnt entry level, it was "you need a degree...what is your degree..you have no degree? " So I got my business mngt degree while waiting tables through college.

Exit college with 6 years military ( infantry and aviation ), 4 year degree in Business Mngt and hit the job market. Now Im told I need " experience " in whatever respective field Im applying for. Went to a papermill for an admin role, but they wanted 10+ year paper mill experience for 30k a year?? No matter where I searched, I needed to have an assload of experience to get any job that paid over $6 dollars an hour, but I couldnt afford to work for $6 an hour.

Fast forward some years and I had no choice but to wait tables since it paid decent while looking for other jobs ( majority of all other wait staff all had college degrees as well ) So I end up working my way up through the waiter / bar / supervisor / manager / area manager / agm / gm / multi-unit manager / director positions.

While I know $75k is nothing to many of yall, I worked very hard to continue to elevate myself to where I could take care of my family. Fast forward to today, and Covid has wiped out my career full stop. Went from $75k + bonus with a brand new newborn child ( best daughter a daddy could ever want ) to $350 a week. Have spent hours daily on indeed looking for anything. Over 120+ applications submitted, got 2 calls for jobs that were a total of 2 1/2 hr communte with 12-14 hour shifts. Anything in my salary range wants a Masters with 10+ years experience in whatever field I apply for. So here I am, literally 2-3 months away from losing both of our cars, our house ( we rent ) , getting locked up for failure to pay child support, and a marriage that has disintegrated because we have lost fucking everything over this god damn fake flu.

I have a loaded rifle and look at it every day. This shit has cost me everything I have ever worked hard for in life. Just yesterday I got contacted about another food service job ( wish to hell someone would call me about a diff job ), only for them to call me back and say because the state increased the Covid phase level again and they anticipate another round of a mass reduction of revenue, well...there is no spot for me to go.

I sit here with a pit in my stomach everyday and pray there is a light at the end of the tunnel, while I watch my neighbors that fortunately have jobs where they arent reliant on a mass amount of people for revenue sit back and collect paychecks while sitting at home with their families.

This bullshit has been a blessing for some people, some people it hasnt effected, and for some people....it has completely destroyed our lives and the only light at the end of the tunnel thats visible is a gunshot to the head. I love my daughter so much and she doesnt deserve to have a daddy that cant provide for her. If I cant, I have a pretty wife...maybe she find someone that will love my daughter as much as I do.

Literally at the complete end of my rope. I am one of those people you may see on the news someday because he finally snapped and took out multiple people on his way out.
 

whoo

<Silver Donator>
542
1,581
69d 19h 14m
I very rarely post anything about my RL situation, and probably still shouldnt, no matter how embarrassing my life turned out to be.

Having said that, I am in the same situation as this person. I left the Army back in 2004 after back to back deployments to Korea and Iraq and thought Id get a nice job having all that experience when I came home. What I was met with was rejection after rejection of any job offers that was not fast food. I even got turned down as just a general stocker at Best Buy ( applied because of the 5%+ wholesale discount and had a ton of cash saved from the deployments ) . I left the military as an E-5 and my first job was flipping bugers at Krystal for $5.25 an hour. Went from working on $8m+ dollar helicopters, to a flatop making 49 cent cheeseburgers. Every time I applied for anything at all that wasnt entry level, it was "you need a degree...what is your degree..you have no degree? " So I got my business mngt degree while waiting tables through college.

Exit college with 6 years military ( infantry and aviation ), 4 year degree in Business Mngt and hit the job market. Now Im told I need " experience " in whatever respective field Im applying for. Went to a papermill for an admin role, but they wanted 10+ year paper mill experience for 30k a year?? No matter where I searched, I needed to have an assload of experience to get any job that paid over $6 dollars an hour, but I couldnt afford to work for $6 an hour.

Fast forward some years and I had no choice but to wait tables since it paid decent while looking for other jobs ( majority of all other wait staff all had college degrees as well ) So I end up working my way up through the waiter / bar / supervisor / manager / area manager / agm / gm / multi-unit manager / director positions.

While I know $75k is nothing to many of yall, I worked very hard to continue to elevate myself to where I could take care of my family. Fast forward to today, and Covid has wiped out my career full stop. Went from $75k + bonus with a brand new newborn child ( best daughter a daddy could ever want ) to $350 a week. Have spent hours daily on indeed looking for anything. Over 120+ applications submitted, got 2 calls for jobs that were a total of 2 1/2 hr communte with 12-14 hour shifts. Anything in my salary range wants a Masters with 10+ years experience in whatever field I apply for. So here I am, literally 2-3 months away from losing both of our cars, our house ( we rent ) , getting locked up for failure to pay child support, and a marriage that has disintegrated because we have lost fucking everything over this god damn fake flu.

I have a loaded rifle and look at it every day. This shit has cost me everything I have ever worked hard for in life. Just yesterday I got contacted about another food service job ( wish to hell someone would call me about a diff job ), only for them to call me back and say because the state increased the Covid phase level again and they anticipate another round of a mass reduction of revenue, well...there is no spot for me to go.

I sit here with a pit in my stomach everyday and pray there is a light at the end of the tunnel, while I watch my neighbors that fortunately have jobs where they arent reliant on a mass amount of people for revenue sit back and collect paychecks while sitting at home with their families.

This bullshit has been a blessing for some people, some people it hasnt effected, and for some people....it has completely destroyed our lives and the only light at the end of the tunnel thats visible is a gunshot to the head. I love my daughter so much and she doesnt deserve to have a daddy that cant provide for her. If I cant, I have a pretty wife...maybe she find someone that will love my daughter as much as I do.

Literally at the complete end of my rope. I am one of those people you may see on the news someday because he finally snapped and took out multiple people on his way out.

Do you have family you can get together with to weather the storm? Any veterans programs you qualify for? This makes me sad and angry. We import so many workers and veterans like you are suffering. Any way to convert helicopter repair skills into a more in demand trade like electrician/welding/mechanic? They can make good money
 

Identikit

Redneck Pornographer
<Bronze Donator>
1,665
-197
65d 3h 19m
I very rarely post anything about my RL situation, and probably still shouldnt, no matter how embarrassing my life turned out to be.

Having said that, I am in the same situation as this person. I left the Army back in 2004 after back to back deployments to Korea and Iraq and thought Id get a nice job having all that experience when I came home. What I was met with was rejection after rejection of any job offers that was not fast food. I even got turned down as just a general stocker at Best Buy ( applied because of the 5%+ wholesale discount and had a ton of cash saved from the deployments ) . I left the military as an E-5 and my first job was flipping bugers at Krystal for $5.25 an hour. Went from working on $8m+ dollar helicopters, to a flatop making 49 cent cheeseburgers. Every time I applied for anything at all that wasnt entry level, it was "you need a degree...what is your degree..you have no degree? " So I got my business mngt degree while waiting tables through college.

Exit college with 6 years military ( infantry and aviation ), 4 year degree in Business Mngt and hit the job market. Now Im told I need " experience " in whatever respective field Im applying for. Went to a papermill for an admin role, but they wanted 10+ year paper mill experience for 30k a year?? No matter where I searched, I needed to have an assload of experience to get any job that paid over $6 dollars an hour, but I couldnt afford to work for $6 an hour.

Fast forward some years and I had no choice but to wait tables since it paid decent while looking for other jobs ( majority of all other wait staff all had college degrees as well ) So I end up working my way up through the waiter / bar / supervisor / manager / area manager / agm / gm / multi-unit manager / director positions.

While I know $75k is nothing to many of yall, I worked very hard to continue to elevate myself to where I could take care of my family. Fast forward to today, and Covid has wiped out my career full stop. Went from $75k + bonus with a brand new newborn child ( best daughter a daddy could ever want ) to $350 a week. Have spent hours daily on indeed looking for anything. Over 120+ applications submitted, got 2 calls for jobs that were a total of 2 1/2 hr communte with 12-14 hour shifts. Anything in my salary range wants a Masters with 10+ years experience in whatever field I apply for. So here I am, literally 2-3 months away from losing both of our cars, our house ( we rent ) , getting locked up for failure to pay child support, and a marriage that has disintegrated because we have lost fucking everything over this god damn fake flu.

I have a loaded rifle and look at it every day. This shit has cost me everything I have ever worked hard for in life. Just yesterday I got contacted about another food service job ( wish to hell someone would call me about a diff job ), only for them to call me back and say because the state increased the Covid phase level again and they anticipate another round of a mass reduction of revenue, well...there is no spot for me to go.

I sit here with a pit in my stomach everyday and pray there is a light at the end of the tunnel, while I watch my neighbors that fortunately have jobs where they arent reliant on a mass amount of people for revenue sit back and collect paychecks while sitting at home with their families.

This bullshit has been a blessing for some people, some people it hasnt effected, and for some people....it has completely destroyed our lives and the only light at the end of the tunnel thats visible is a gunshot to the head. I love my daughter so much and she doesnt deserve to have a daddy that cant provide for her. If I cant, I have a pretty wife...maybe she find someone that will love my daughter as much as I do.

Literally at the complete end of my rope. I am one of those people you may see on the news someday because he finally snapped and took out multiple people on his way out.
stay alive for your daughter if you have a heart. It might be something you need to do with shame, but you owe that to her, as well as your wife. Fight for your families future, and stay a part of it. Nothing is more important.

I know I cant offer much here, but if you ever need someone to serve as a recommendation for employment ( I am a fantastic liar and will say whatever you want) to get you in the door if I can help. If you need that, or just a person to talk to, just message.
 

Daezuel

Potato del Grande
17,425
31,871
255d 18h 26m
I very rarely post anything about my RL situation, and probably still shouldnt, no matter how embarrassing my life turned out to be.

Having said that, I am in the same situation as this person. I left the Army back in 2004 after back to back deployments to Korea and Iraq and thought Id get a nice job having all that experience when I came home. What I was met with was rejection after rejection of any job offers that was not fast food. I even got turned down as just a general stocker at Best Buy ( applied because of the 5%+ wholesale discount and had a ton of cash saved from the deployments ) . I left the military as an E-5 and my first job was flipping bugers at Krystal for $5.25 an hour. Went from working on $8m+ dollar helicopters, to a flatop making 49 cent cheeseburgers. Every time I applied for anything at all that wasnt entry level, it was "you need a degree...what is your degree..you have no degree? " So I got my business mngt degree while waiting tables through college.

Exit college with 6 years military ( infantry and aviation ), 4 year degree in Business Mngt and hit the job market. Now Im told I need " experience " in whatever respective field Im applying for. Went to a papermill for an admin role, but they wanted 10+ year paper mill experience for 30k a year?? No matter where I searched, I needed to have an assload of experience to get any job that paid over $6 dollars an hour, but I couldnt afford to work for $6 an hour.

Fast forward some years and I had no choice but to wait tables since it paid decent while looking for other jobs ( majority of all other wait staff all had college degrees as well ) So I end up working my way up through the waiter / bar / supervisor / manager / area manager / agm / gm / multi-unit manager / director positions.

While I know $75k is nothing to many of yall, I worked very hard to continue to elevate myself to where I could take care of my family. Fast forward to today, and Covid has wiped out my career full stop. Went from $75k + bonus with a brand new newborn child ( best daughter a daddy could ever want ) to $350 a week. Have spent hours daily on indeed looking for anything. Over 120+ applications submitted, got 2 calls for jobs that were a total of 2 1/2 hr communte with 12-14 hour shifts. Anything in my salary range wants a Masters with 10+ years experience in whatever field I apply for. So here I am, literally 2-3 months away from losing both of our cars, our house ( we rent ) , getting locked up for failure to pay child support, and a marriage that has disintegrated because we have lost fucking everything over this god damn fake flu.

I have a loaded rifle and look at it every day. This shit has cost me everything I have ever worked hard for in life. Just yesterday I got contacted about another food service job ( wish to hell someone would call me about a diff job ), only for them to call me back and say because the state increased the Covid phase level again and they anticipate another round of a mass reduction of revenue, well...there is no spot for me to go.

I sit here with a pit in my stomach everyday and pray there is a light at the end of the tunnel, while I watch my neighbors that fortunately have jobs where they arent reliant on a mass amount of people for revenue sit back and collect paychecks while sitting at home with their families.

This bullshit has been a blessing for some people, some people it hasnt effected, and for some people....it has completely destroyed our lives and the only light at the end of the tunnel thats visible is a gunshot to the head. I love my daughter so much and she doesnt deserve to have a daddy that cant provide for her. If I cant, I have a pretty wife...maybe she find someone that will love my daughter as much as I do.

Literally at the complete end of my rope. I am one of those people you may see on the news someday because he finally snapped and took out multiple people on his way out.
As bad as this gets they have a "vaccine" and shit will be back to normal at some point. It's going to be hard and it's going to keep fucking you for a while, but you will come out of it and things will turn around. Nothing stays bad forever unless you let it.
 

Foler

Forum Martyr
<Gold Donor>
20,221
17,896
I very rarely post anything about my RL situation, and probably still shouldnt, no matter how embarrassing my life turned out to be.

Having said that, I am in the same situation as this person. I left the Army back in 2004 after back to back deployments to Korea and Iraq and thought Id get a nice job having all that experience when I came home. What I was met with was rejection after rejection of any job offers that was not fast food. I even got turned down as just a general stocker at Best Buy ( applied because of the 5%+ wholesale discount and had a ton of cash saved from the deployments ) . I left the military as an E-5 and my first job was flipping bugers at Krystal for $5.25 an hour. Went from working on $8m+ dollar helicopters, to a flatop making 49 cent cheeseburgers. Every time I applied for anything at all that wasnt entry level, it was "you need a degree...what is your degree..you have no degree? " So I got my business mngt degree while waiting tables through college.

Exit college with 6 years military ( infantry and aviation ), 4 year degree in Business Mngt and hit the job market. Now Im told I need " experience " in whatever respective field Im applying for. Went to a papermill for an admin role, but they wanted 10+ year paper mill experience for 30k a year?? No matter where I searched, I needed to have an assload of experience to get any job that paid over $6 dollars an hour, but I couldnt afford to work for $6 an hour.

Fast forward some years and I had no choice but to wait tables since it paid decent while looking for other jobs ( majority of all other wait staff all had college degrees as well ) So I end up working my way up through the waiter / bar / supervisor / manager / area manager / agm / gm / multi-unit manager / director positions.

While I know $75k is nothing to many of yall, I worked very hard to continue to elevate myself to where I could take care of my family. Fast forward to today, and Covid has wiped out my career full stop. Went from $75k + bonus with a brand new newborn child ( best daughter a daddy could ever want ) to $350 a week. Have spent hours daily on indeed looking for anything. Over 120+ applications submitted, got 2 calls for jobs that were a total of 2 1/2 hr communte with 12-14 hour shifts. Anything in my salary range wants a Masters with 10+ years experience in whatever field I apply for. So here I am, literally 2-3 months away from losing both of our cars, our house ( we rent ) , getting locked up for failure to pay child support, and a marriage that has disintegrated because we have lost fucking everything over this god damn fake flu.

I have a loaded rifle and look at it every day. This shit has cost me everything I have ever worked hard for in life. Just yesterday I got contacted about another food service job ( wish to hell someone would call me about a diff job ), only for them to call me back and say because the state increased the Covid phase level again and they anticipate another round of a mass reduction of revenue, well...there is no spot for me to go.

I sit here with a pit in my stomach everyday and pray there is a light at the end of the tunnel, while I watch my neighbors that fortunately have jobs where they arent reliant on a mass amount of people for revenue sit back and collect paychecks while sitting at home with their families.

This bullshit has been a blessing for some people, some people it hasnt effected, and for some people....it has completely destroyed our lives and the only light at the end of the tunnel thats visible is a gunshot to the head. I love my daughter so much and she doesnt deserve to have a daddy that cant provide for her. If I cant, I have a pretty wife...maybe she find someone that will love my daughter as much as I do.

Literally at the complete end of my rope. I am one of those people you may see on the news someday because he finally snapped and took out multiple people on his way out.
Uhh ya, you copping out on your daughter like that will fuck her in the head forever. No sugarcoating that. She'll always wonder why daddy didn't love her enough to stick around and she got stuck with stepdad. I empathize with your situation but don't do that shit.
 
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Caeden

Ahn'Qiraj Raider
4,498
5,170
58d 19h 58m
I very rarely post anything about my RL situation, and probably still shouldnt, no matter how embarrassing my life turned out to be.

Having said that, I am in the same situation as this person. I left the Army back in 2004 after back to back deployments to Korea and Iraq and thought Id get a nice job having all that experience when I came home. What I was met with was rejection after rejection of any job offers that was not fast food. I even got turned down as just a general stocker at Best Buy ( applied because of the 5%+ wholesale discount and had a ton of cash saved from the deployments ) . I left the military as an E-5 and my first job was flipping bugers at Krystal for $5.25 an hour. Went from working on $8m+ dollar helicopters, to a flatop making 49 cent cheeseburgers. Every time I applied for anything at all that wasnt entry level, it was "you need a degree...what is your degree..you have no degree? " So I got my business mngt degree while waiting tables through college.

Exit college with 6 years military ( infantry and aviation ), 4 year degree in Business Mngt and hit the job market. Now Im told I need " experience " in whatever respective field Im applying for. Went to a papermill for an admin role, but they wanted 10+ year paper mill experience for 30k a year?? No matter where I searched, I needed to have an assload of experience to get any job that paid over $6 dollars an hour, but I couldnt afford to work for $6 an hour.

Fast forward some years and I had no choice but to wait tables since it paid decent while looking for other jobs ( majority of all other wait staff all had college degrees as well ) So I end up working my way up through the waiter / bar / supervisor / manager / area manager / agm / gm / multi-unit manager / director positions.

While I know $75k is nothing to many of yall, I worked very hard to continue to elevate myself to where I could take care of my family. Fast forward to today, and Covid has wiped out my career full stop. Went from $75k + bonus with a brand new newborn child ( best daughter a daddy could ever want ) to $350 a week. Have spent hours daily on indeed looking for anything. Over 120+ applications submitted, got 2 calls for jobs that were a total of 2 1/2 hr communte with 12-14 hour shifts. Anything in my salary range wants a Masters with 10+ years experience in whatever field I apply for. So here I am, literally 2-3 months away from losing both of our cars, our house ( we rent ) , getting locked up for failure to pay child support, and a marriage that has disintegrated because we have lost fucking everything over this god damn fake flu.

I have a loaded rifle and look at it every day. This shit has cost me everything I have ever worked hard for in life. Just yesterday I got contacted about another food service job ( wish to hell someone would call me about a diff job ), only for them to call me back and say because the state increased the Covid phase level again and they anticipate another round of a mass reduction of revenue, well...there is no spot for me to go.

I sit here with a pit in my stomach everyday and pray there is a light at the end of the tunnel, while I watch my neighbors that fortunately have jobs where they arent reliant on a mass amount of people for revenue sit back and collect paychecks while sitting at home with their families.

This bullshit has been a blessing for some people, some people it hasnt effected, and for some people....it has completely destroyed our lives and the only light at the end of the tunnel thats visible is a gunshot to the head. I love my daughter so much and she doesnt deserve to have a daddy that cant provide for her. If I cant, I have a pretty wife...maybe she find someone that will love my daughter as much as I do.

Literally at the complete end of my rope. I am one of those people you may see on the news someday because he finally snapped and took out multiple people on his way out.
You don't happen to be in TN do you?
 

Arbitrary

Karazhan Raider
16,897
33,509
280d 13h 4m
Uhh ya, you copping out on your daughter like that will fuck her in the head forever. No sugarcoating that. She'll always wonder why daddy didn't love her enough to stick around and she got stuck with stepdad. I empathize with your situation but don't do that shit.

My grandfather offed himself over financial troubles and yeah, it had permanent forever no going back ramifications on all of his children. It's been 60+ years and it still reverberates.
 

Genjiro

Vyemm Raider
4,578
3,300
36d 8h 2m
I very rarely post anything about my RL situation, and probably still shouldnt, no matter how embarrassing my life turned out to be.

Having said that, I am in the same situation as this person. I left the Army back in 2004 after back to back deployments to Korea and Iraq and thought Id get a nice job having all that experience when I came home. What I was met with was rejection after rejection of any job offers that was not fast food. I even got turned down as just a general stocker at Best Buy ( applied because of the 5%+ wholesale discount and had a ton of cash saved from the deployments ) . I left the military as an E-5 and my first job was flipping bugers at Krystal for $5.25 an hour. Went from working on $8m+ dollar helicopters, to a flatop making 49 cent cheeseburgers. Every time I applied for anything at all that wasnt entry level, it was "you need a degree...what is your degree..you have no degree? " So I got my business mngt degree while waiting tables through college.

Exit college with 6 years military ( infantry and aviation ), 4 year degree in Business Mngt and hit the job market. Now Im told I need " experience " in whatever respective field Im applying for. Went to a papermill for an admin role, but they wanted 10+ year paper mill experience for 30k a year?? No matter where I searched, I needed to have an assload of experience to get any job that paid over $6 dollars an hour, but I couldnt afford to work for $6 an hour.

Fast forward some years and I had no choice but to wait tables since it paid decent while looking for other jobs ( majority of all other wait staff all had college degrees as well ) So I end up working my way up through the waiter / bar / supervisor / manager / area manager / agm / gm / multi-unit manager / director positions.

While I know $75k is nothing to many of yall, I worked very hard to continue to elevate myself to where I could take care of my family. Fast forward to today, and Covid has wiped out my career full stop. Went from $75k + bonus with a brand new newborn child ( best daughter a daddy could ever want ) to $350 a week. Have spent hours daily on indeed looking for anything. Over 120+ applications submitted, got 2 calls for jobs that were a total of 2 1/2 hr communte with 12-14 hour shifts. Anything in my salary range wants a Masters with 10+ years experience in whatever field I apply for. So here I am, literally 2-3 months away from losing both of our cars, our house ( we rent ) , getting locked up for failure to pay child support, and a marriage that has disintegrated because we have lost fucking everything over this god damn fake flu.

I have a loaded rifle and look at it every day. This shit has cost me everything I have ever worked hard for in life. Just yesterday I got contacted about another food service job ( wish to hell someone would call me about a diff job ), only for them to call me back and say because the state increased the Covid phase level again and they anticipate another round of a mass reduction of revenue, well...there is no spot for me to go.

I sit here with a pit in my stomach everyday and pray there is a light at the end of the tunnel, while I watch my neighbors that fortunately have jobs where they arent reliant on a mass amount of people for revenue sit back and collect paychecks while sitting at home with their families.

This bullshit has been a blessing for some people, some people it hasnt effected, and for some people....it has completely destroyed our lives and the only light at the end of the tunnel thats visible is a gunshot to the head. I love my daughter so much and she doesnt deserve to have a daddy that cant provide for her. If I cant, I have a pretty wife...maybe she find someone that will love my daughter as much as I do.

Literally at the complete end of my rope. I am one of those people you may see on the news someday because he finally snapped and took out multiple people on his way out.
Hang in there brotha.

At the end of the day material stuff is just that. People can and do make comebacks. Be there for your daughter. I lost my dad as a teenager and not being there for every major part of my life well it fucking sucks. Its been 20+ years I still dream about him and it sucks waking up to realize hes never gonna talk to me again.

It might seem like there is no way out, I've actually been in your situation where you feel like you are in a warehouse with the lights turned out and dont know where to even look for the door. Its not as bad as you think.
 

Ambiturner

Silver Baronet of the Realm
10,213
8,747
94d 18h 15m
I very rarely post anything about my RL situation, and probably still shouldnt, no matter how embarrassing my life turned out to be.

Having said that, I am in the same situation as this person. I left the Army back in 2004 after back to back deployments to Korea and Iraq and thought Id get a nice job having all that experience when I came home. What I was met with was rejection after rejection of any job offers that was not fast food. I even got turned down as just a general stocker at Best Buy ( applied because of the 5%+ wholesale discount and had a ton of cash saved from the deployments ) . I left the military as an E-5 and my first job was flipping bugers at Krystal for $5.25 an hour. Went from working on $8m+ dollar helicopters, to a flatop making 49 cent cheeseburgers. Every time I applied for anything at all that wasnt entry level, it was "you need a degree...what is your degree..you have no degree? " So I got my business mngt degree while waiting tables through college.

Exit college with 6 years military ( infantry and aviation ), 4 year degree in Business Mngt and hit the job market. Now Im told I need " experience " in whatever respective field Im applying for. Went to a papermill for an admin role, but they wanted 10+ year paper mill experience for 30k a year?? No matter where I searched, I needed to have an assload of experience to get any job that paid over $6 dollars an hour, but I couldnt afford to work for $6 an hour.

Fast forward some years and I had no choice but to wait tables since it paid decent while looking for other jobs ( majority of all other wait staff all had college degrees as well ) So I end up working my way up through the waiter / bar / supervisor / manager / area manager / agm / gm / multi-unit manager / director positions.

While I know $75k is nothing to many of yall, I worked very hard to continue to elevate myself to where I could take care of my family. Fast forward to today, and Covid has wiped out my career full stop. Went from $75k + bonus with a brand new newborn child ( best daughter a daddy could ever want ) to $350 a week. Have spent hours daily on indeed looking for anything. Over 120+ applications submitted, got 2 calls for jobs that were a total of 2 1/2 hr communte with 12-14 hour shifts. Anything in my salary range wants a Masters with 10+ years experience in whatever field I apply for. So here I am, literally 2-3 months away from losing both of our cars, our house ( we rent ) , getting locked up for failure to pay child support, and a marriage that has disintegrated because we have lost fucking everything over this god damn fake flu.

I have a loaded rifle and look at it every day. This shit has cost me everything I have ever worked hard for in life. Just yesterday I got contacted about another food service job ( wish to hell someone would call me about a diff job ), only for them to call me back and say because the state increased the Covid phase level again and they anticipate another round of a mass reduction of revenue, well...there is no spot for me to go.

I sit here with a pit in my stomach everyday and pray there is a light at the end of the tunnel, while I watch my neighbors that fortunately have jobs where they arent reliant on a mass amount of people for revenue sit back and collect paychecks while sitting at home with their families.

This bullshit has been a blessing for some people, some people it hasnt effected, and for some people....it has completely destroyed our lives and the only light at the end of the tunnel thats visible is a gunshot to the head. I love my daughter so much and she doesnt deserve to have a daddy that cant provide for her. If I cant, I have a pretty wife...maybe she find someone that will love my daughter as much as I do.

Literally at the complete end of my rope. I am one of those people you may see on the news someday because he finally snapped and took out multiple people on his way out.

If you have a good relationship with your kid, understand that ending your life would most likely destroy any chance of them being normal.
 

Jive Turkey

Karen
5,330
4,504
I very rarely post anything about my RL situation, and probably still shouldnt, no matter how embarrassing my life turned out to be.

Having said that, I am in the same situation as this person. I left the Army back in 2004 after back to back deployments to Korea and Iraq and thought Id get a nice job having all that experience when I came home. What I was met with was rejection after rejection of any job offers that was not fast food. I even got turned down as just a general stocker at Best Buy ( applied because of the 5%+ wholesale discount and had a ton of cash saved from the deployments ) . I left the military as an E-5 and my first job was flipping bugers at Krystal for $5.25 an hour. Went from working on $8m+ dollar helicopters, to a flatop making 49 cent cheeseburgers. Every time I applied for anything at all that wasnt entry level, it was "you need a degree...what is your degree..you have no degree? " So I got my business mngt degree while waiting tables through college.

Exit college with 6 years military ( infantry and aviation ), 4 year degree in Business Mngt and hit the job market. Now Im told I need " experience " in whatever respective field Im applying for. Went to a papermill for an admin role, but they wanted 10+ year paper mill experience for 30k a year?? No matter where I searched, I needed to have an assload of experience to get any job that paid over $6 dollars an hour, but I couldnt afford to work for $6 an hour.

Fast forward some years and I had no choice but to wait tables since it paid decent while looking for other jobs ( majority of all other wait staff all had college degrees as well ) So I end up working my way up through the waiter / bar / supervisor / manager / area manager / agm / gm / multi-unit manager / director positions.

While I know $75k is nothing to many of yall, I worked very hard to continue to elevate myself to where I could take care of my family. Fast forward to today, and Covid has wiped out my career full stop. Went from $75k + bonus with a brand new newborn child ( best daughter a daddy could ever want ) to $350 a week. Have spent hours daily on indeed looking for anything. Over 120+ applications submitted, got 2 calls for jobs that were a total of 2 1/2 hr communte with 12-14 hour shifts. Anything in my salary range wants a Masters with 10+ years experience in whatever field I apply for. So here I am, literally 2-3 months away from losing both of our cars, our house ( we rent ) , getting locked up for failure to pay child support, and a marriage that has disintegrated because we have lost fucking everything over this god damn fake flu.

I have a loaded rifle and look at it every day. This shit has cost me everything I have ever worked hard for in life. Just yesterday I got contacted about another food service job ( wish to hell someone would call me about a diff job ), only for them to call me back and say because the state increased the Covid phase level again and they anticipate another round of a mass reduction of revenue, well...there is no spot for me to go.

I sit here with a pit in my stomach everyday and pray there is a light at the end of the tunnel, while I watch my neighbors that fortunately have jobs where they arent reliant on a mass amount of people for revenue sit back and collect paychecks while sitting at home with their families.

This bullshit has been a blessing for some people, some people it hasnt effected, and for some people....it has completely destroyed our lives and the only light at the end of the tunnel thats visible is a gunshot to the head. I love my daughter so much and she doesnt deserve to have a daddy that cant provide for her. If I cant, I have a pretty wife...maybe she find someone that will love my daughter as much as I do.

Literally at the complete end of my rope. I am one of those people you may see on the news someday because he finally snapped and took out multiple people on his way out.

This sucks floppy donkey dick, but I promise you you'll get to a time when you look back and think "fuck, that was a shitty time, but I made it out and I'm better for it". Taking the 'easy' way out will ensure that your daughter is permanently fucked up for her entire life. Grind this out. You've obviously got great work ethic; it'll come around.
 

Kirun

<Gold Donor>
9,096
11,208
No fedposting or suicide directives please.
I very rarely post anything about my RL situation, and probably still shouldnt, no matter how embarrassing my life turned out to be.

Having said that, I am in the same situation as this person. I left the Army back in 2004 after back to back deployments to Korea and Iraq and thought Id get a nice job having all that experience when I came home. What I was met with was rejection after rejection of any job offers that was not fast food. I even got turned down as just a general stocker at Best Buy ( applied because of the 5%+ wholesale discount and had a ton of cash saved from the deployments ) . I left the military as an E-5 and my first job was flipping bugers at Krystal for $5.25 an hour. Went from working on $8m+ dollar helicopters, to a flatop making 49 cent cheeseburgers. Every time I applied for anything at all that wasnt entry level, it was "you need a degree...what is your degree..you have no degree? " So I got my business mngt degree while waiting tables through college.

Exit college with 6 years military ( infantry and aviation ), 4 year degree in Business Mngt and hit the job market. Now Im told I need " experience " in whatever respective field Im applying for. Went to a papermill for an admin role, but they wanted 10+ year paper mill experience for 30k a year?? No matter where I searched, I needed to have an assload of experience to get any job that paid over $6 dollars an hour, but I couldnt afford to work for $6 an hour.

Fast forward some years and I had no choice but to wait tables since it paid decent while looking for other jobs ( majority of all other wait staff all had college degrees as well ) So I end up working my way up through the waiter / bar / supervisor / manager / area manager / agm / gm / multi-unit manager / director positions.

While I know $75k is nothing to many of yall, I worked very hard to continue to elevate myself to where I could take care of my family. Fast forward to today, and Covid has wiped out my career full stop. Went from $75k + bonus with a brand new newborn child ( best daughter a daddy could ever want ) to $350 a week. Have spent hours daily on indeed looking for anything. Over 120+ applications submitted, got 2 calls for jobs that were a total of 2 1/2 hr communte with 12-14 hour shifts. Anything in my salary range wants a Masters with 10+ years experience in whatever field I apply for. So here I am, literally 2-3 months away from losing both of our cars, our house ( we rent ) , getting locked up for failure to pay child support, and a marriage that has disintegrated because we have lost fucking everything over this god damn fake flu.

I have a loaded rifle and look at it every day. This shit has cost me everything I have ever worked hard for in life. Just yesterday I got contacted about another food service job ( wish to hell someone would call me about a diff job ), only for them to call me back and say because the state increased the Covid phase level again and they anticipate another round of a mass reduction of revenue, well...there is no spot for me to go.

I sit here with a pit in my stomach everyday and pray there is a light at the end of the tunnel, while I watch my neighbors that fortunately have jobs where they arent reliant on a mass amount of people for revenue sit back and collect paychecks while sitting at home with their families.

This bullshit has been a blessing for some people, some people it hasnt effected, and for some people....it has completely destroyed our lives and the only light at the end of the tunnel thats visible is a gunshot to the head. I love my daughter so much and she doesnt deserve to have a daddy that cant provide for her. If I cant, I have a pretty wife...maybe she find someone that will love my daughter as much as I do.

Literally at the complete end of my rope. I am one of those people you may see on the news someday because he finally snapped and took out multiple people on his way out.

Fedposting/ecouraging suicide removed - amod
 
Last edited by a moderator:

BoozeCube

<Prior Amod>
24,211
129,139
241d 2h 16m
I very rarely post anything about my RL situation, and probably still shouldnt, no matter how embarrassing my life turned out to be.

Having said that, I am in the same situation as this person. I left the Army back in 2004 after back to back deployments to Korea and Iraq and thought Id get a nice job having all that experience when I came home. What I was met with was rejection after rejection of any job offers that was not fast food. I even got turned down as just a general stocker at Best Buy ( applied because of the 5%+ wholesale discount and had a ton of cash saved from the deployments ) . I left the military as an E-5 and my first job was flipping bugers at Krystal for $5.25 an hour. Went from working on $8m+ dollar helicopters, to a flatop making 49 cent cheeseburgers. Every time I applied for anything at all that wasnt entry level, it was "you need a degree...what is your degree..you have no degree? " So I got my business mngt degree while waiting tables through college.

Exit college with 6 years military ( infantry and aviation ), 4 year degree in Business Mngt and hit the job market. Now Im told I need " experience " in whatever respective field Im applying for. Went to a papermill for an admin role, but they wanted 10+ year paper mill experience for 30k a year?? No matter where I searched, I needed to have an assload of experience to get any job that paid over $6 dollars an hour, but I couldnt afford to work for $6 an hour.

Fast forward some years and I had no choice but to wait tables since it paid decent while looking for other jobs ( majority of all other wait staff all had college degrees as well ) So I end up working my way up through the waiter / bar / supervisor / manager / area manager / agm / gm / multi-unit manager / director positions.

While I know $75k is nothing to many of yall, I worked very hard to continue to elevate myself to where I could take care of my family. Fast forward to today, and Covid has wiped out my career full stop. Went from $75k + bonus with a brand new newborn child ( best daughter a daddy could ever want ) to $350 a week. Have spent hours daily on indeed looking for anything. Over 120+ applications submitted, got 2 calls for jobs that were a total of 2 1/2 hr communte with 12-14 hour shifts. Anything in my salary range wants a Masters with 10+ years experience in whatever field I apply for. So here I am, literally 2-3 months away from losing both of our cars, our house ( we rent ) , getting locked up for failure to pay child support, and a marriage that has disintegrated because we have lost fucking everything over this god damn fake flu.

I have a loaded rifle and look at it every day. This shit has cost me everything I have ever worked hard for in life. Just yesterday I got contacted about another food service job ( wish to hell someone would call me about a diff job ), only for them to call me back and say because the state increased the Covid phase level again and they anticipate another round of a mass reduction of revenue, well...there is no spot for me to go.

I sit here with a pit in my stomach everyday and pray there is a light at the end of the tunnel, while I watch my neighbors that fortunately have jobs where they arent reliant on a mass amount of people for revenue sit back and collect paychecks while sitting at home with their families.

This bullshit has been a blessing for some people, some people it hasnt effected, and for some people....it has completely destroyed our lives and the only light at the end of the tunnel thats visible is a gunshot to the head. I love my daughter so much and she doesnt deserve to have a daddy that cant provide for her. If I cant, I have a pretty wife...maybe she find someone that will love my daughter as much as I do.

Literally at the complete end of my rope. I am one of those people you may see on the news someday because he finally snapped and took out multiple people on his way out.
First off man I am sorry to hear what you are going through, I know it doesn't help but know that there are many people going through similar experiences as you. You are down on yourself and not giving yourself enough credit, but that is certainly is due to the depression you are going through. It sounds like you are someone who was motivated and became a success, you say that $75k is nothing but that is higher than the Average household in this country and you got there through just grit, determination, and grind.

If you think it's tough now think of where you would put your wife and kid without you as a pillar for your family. You are correct in that for some this Covid thing hasn't effected them at all, in fact we have people bragging about not working sitting on their ass and defrauding us while others struggle, but you'll find a lot of people are willing to give a hand and help you find a way.
 

BoozeCube

<Prior Amod>
24,211
129,139
241d 2h 16m
Amod Amod has moved this discussion to the depression thread in the Grown Up section because this is something that is worth a real discussion and more and a few would be happy to reach out and help if nothing more than to lend a ear you can vent to.
 
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Reactions: Denamian

Gravel

Golden Baron of the Realm
21,738
46,943
128d 19h 31m
I very rarely post anything about my RL situation, and probably still shouldnt, no matter how embarrassing my life turned out to be.

Having said that, I am in the same situation as this person. I left the Army back in 2004 after back to back deployments to Korea and Iraq and thought Id get a nice job having all that experience when I came home. What I was met with was rejection after rejection of any job offers that was not fast food. I even got turned down as just a general stocker at Best Buy ( applied because of the 5%+ wholesale discount and had a ton of cash saved from the deployments ) . I left the military as an E-5 and my first job was flipping bugers at Krystal for $5.25 an hour. Went from working on $8m+ dollar helicopters, to a flatop making 49 cent cheeseburgers. Every time I applied for anything at all that wasnt entry level, it was "you need a degree...what is your degree..you have no degree? " So I got my business mngt degree while waiting tables through college.

Exit college with 6 years military ( infantry and aviation ), 4 year degree in Business Mngt and hit the job market. Now Im told I need " experience " in whatever respective field Im applying for. Went to a papermill for an admin role, but they wanted 10+ year paper mill experience for 30k a year?? No matter where I searched, I needed to have an assload of experience to get any job that paid over $6 dollars an hour, but I couldnt afford to work for $6 an hour.

Fast forward some years and I had no choice but to wait tables since it paid decent while looking for other jobs ( majority of all other wait staff all had college degrees as well ) So I end up working my way up through the waiter / bar / supervisor / manager / area manager / agm / gm / multi-unit manager / director positions.

While I know $75k is nothing to many of yall, I worked very hard to continue to elevate myself to where I could take care of my family. Fast forward to today, and Covid has wiped out my career full stop. Went from $75k + bonus with a brand new newborn child ( best daughter a daddy could ever want ) to $350 a week. Have spent hours daily on indeed looking for anything. Over 120+ applications submitted, got 2 calls for jobs that were a total of 2 1/2 hr communte with 12-14 hour shifts. Anything in my salary range wants a Masters with 10+ years experience in whatever field I apply for. So here I am, literally 2-3 months away from losing both of our cars, our house ( we rent ) , getting locked up for failure to pay child support, and a marriage that has disintegrated because we have lost fucking everything over this god damn fake flu.

I have a loaded rifle and look at it every day. This shit has cost me everything I have ever worked hard for in life. Just yesterday I got contacted about another food service job ( wish to hell someone would call me about a diff job ), only for them to call me back and say because the state increased the Covid phase level again and they anticipate another round of a mass reduction of revenue, well...there is no spot for me to go.

I sit here with a pit in my stomach everyday and pray there is a light at the end of the tunnel, while I watch my neighbors that fortunately have jobs where they arent reliant on a mass amount of people for revenue sit back and collect paychecks while sitting at home with their families.

This bullshit has been a blessing for some people, some people it hasnt effected, and for some people....it has completely destroyed our lives and the only light at the end of the tunnel thats visible is a gunshot to the head. I love my daughter so much and she doesnt deserve to have a daddy that cant provide for her. If I cant, I have a pretty wife...maybe she find someone that will love my daughter as much as I do.

Literally at the complete end of my rope. I am one of those people you may see on the news someday because he finally snapped and took out multiple people on his way out.
Damn dude, that's almost exactly me, too, at least up until the recent events.

6 years in the military doing IT. My timing was shit though as I got out in November 2008. Couldn't find anything. You'd think having been a system/network admin and willing to live anywhere in the country I'd be good, but nope. Great recession was a bitch.

Said fuck it I'll use my GI Bill then (I should point out I did get an Associates in Computer Science while enlisted). Got a finance degree, accepted to be a Navy Pilot (thanks SecDef Miller for the letter of recommendation; posted the other day), but had a year break between the two before I shipped out. The only job I was able to find was working the front desk at a gym. And I got fired. They never told me why, and it's the only job I've ever been fired from. While in school though, I worked part time as a system/network admin again for a local company (bringing me up to 8 years, with 2 degrees). Still baffled why I couldn't find anything.

When I decided not to continue with the Navy, it took me 8 months to find a new job. Same deal, willing to move anywhere, I felt like my credentials were good, but I couldn't even get a fucking interview. I even interviewed to be a power plant operator for like 30k, and they basically told me "you're way overqualified, you're going to leave," and I'm sitting there like, I'm fucking desperate, please just hire me.

My story flipped though as I eventually got super lucky. Got hired for a government civilian position starting at GS-7 (about $35k) but promoted to GS-12 over 3 years (GS-9 after 1, GS-11 after 2, GS-12 at the end). Best part is it's essentially recession proof.

Anyway dude, things will get better. You'll look back on this as a character builder when you finally claw your way back out.