I don't have time for a hobby... and I don't have the time to invest in a pet. Wouldn't be fair to the animal.
Depression
- Thread starter Tarrant
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Gavinmad
Mr. Poopybutthole
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Vaclav
Bronze Baronet of the Realm
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If things are as bleak as you're making them sound today, then I have one point of good news for you. If you can focus on the positive instead of dwelling on the negative (which is difficult when you're new to it) - you can really take a ton of weight off trying to make an uphill climb.
I've had lots of shit go wrong for me recently - my siblings disowned me while I was dealing with my father's death (and threats from the only close friends we'd made down here at the time [tons since though] - from some people that turned out to be drug addicts) and ending up in the psychiatric hospital. We managed to get bedbugs from one of the string of hotels we used while waiting for the moving truck to get here (or the movers sucked really bad and got them in our stuff mid-move I guess is a possible option too - we were staying in some cheap places though to save money on 10 days of hoteling however). My car just a few days ago started venting some portion of something smelling like exhaust into the car after ~25-30 min of driving that the mechanic can't tell where it's coming from when I drive it over there (5 min away) since it doesn't post a code on the computer and doesn't start until I drive it longer, and I'm not motivated to drive in circles just to get the problem to start.... [tempted to just drive the car into the Banana River and call it a day and replace it, but really don't want to add extra recurring cost/bleed my investment accounts right now]
But you know what, because I focus on the positive and don't dwell on those things - I literally think about them for a moment, let them wash over me and don't dwell on them and they don't bog me down - and people think I'm a happy, well adjusted person to the point where if I literally took up every offer of gaming with someone or other projects - I'd probably have zero time to do anything for myself or the wife alone. [And god help me if I try to work for someone else instead of opening a business (which I've considered as an interim thing perhaps - changing gears on my business concept and this one will take a long time in getting all the pieces working)]
I can't tell you what the best method you'll find to achieve a similar enlightenment - but I can tell you that when you're at the absolute bottom it's the best time to learn because when everything is horrible, it's easy to find constant improvements to give yourself an internal thumbs up to if you can manage it so that once you get the stone rolling, it should be easy to keep it going.
But seriously with how you're doing, start trying everything that you think might work until something sticks - you'll be better for it if you can get one to. (Meditation perhaps? I vaguely recall something you said made me think that's in your wheelhouse)
[And lindz's example of a hobby is part of the whole philosophy I'm talking about - a specific one - but a great one, and some variants take no real time or cost - even if you're a busy student you've always got pen and paper to work on art even if you have "no talent" simple things like making geometric shapes can be quite relaxing and help take you out of the moment even mid-class if it's something you don't need to concentrate on, or between classes if you need to focus completely during class]
Vaclav
Bronze Baronet of the Realm
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Sure you do, even small things are bound to happen to make one day slightly better than the last. It's hard to focus on them when you're learning - but even something like "my breath is less horrible today" or something like that can be a small victory.
Start celebrating the small victories and eventually you'll start flipping the tide. It's a hard personality change to press, but if you can manage it, you'll get there.
My days have only been getting harder. Between work and school I get almost no time to sleep let do alone anything else. And they're being negatively impacted because of it.
Top it off with being so alone and it's wearing thin. Not just romantically, but emotionally. Socially. Not that anyone would want to be around me even if I had the time.
Top it off with being so alone and it's wearing thin. Not just romantically, but emotionally. Socially. Not that anyone would want to be around me even if I had the time.
Vaclav
Bronze Baronet of the Realm
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Getting full nights sleep is definitely a good place to start - if you don't already, with the "mind always racing" issues that used to lead to me having trouble sleeping I found white noise to help alot. [i.e. a white noise generator proper or any of the relaxation sound apps running on the phone as I do now - just be aware of light if you are light sensitive though, I've got one on the FireTV Stick but running it on the TV is far too bright and keeps me up]
Aaron
Goonsquad Officer
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Are you sure the operative word here is not "hobby" but "puppy"? It's a well known fact that having a pet (doesn't have to be a puppy, most animals should work, except maybe a tarantula) works wonders in dealing with depression. Nothing like having something cute and furry snuggling up to you when you're down (again, nut sure how well a tarantula might work doing that).
I'm a security guard. Work the graveyard shift. Currently a math major (with leanings towards physics).
iannis
Musty Nester
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It's not that uncommon to not know "what you want to do". Don't feel like failure on that count.
I know nurses with 10 year experience that still aren't really sure if they wanna do it. I mean most people just sorta pick something that they don't hate. But there is no perfect. Every occupation and every job comes with joy and misery.
Get get a BS in maths and go make some moolah. You can buy pills and women with moolah!
I know nurses with 10 year experience that still aren't really sure if they wanna do it. I mean most people just sorta pick something that they don't hate. But there is no perfect. Every occupation and every job comes with joy and misery.
Get get a BS in maths and go make some moolah. You can buy pills and women with moolah!
Emotionally your life may be shitty right now, but you're doing better than a lot of people by having a job and being on track for a college degree.
Also no one knows what they want to do. It's like 10% of people at best. Everyone else is just throwing darts at a board
I really want to just get by right now. But I feel like I've just missed out on so much in life... and I have. Ireallywant to do so many other things... but I feel denied. Like everyone else gets to be validated as human beings, but I don't.
Here's a secret, your not missing out on a shit, it's just a feeling....no one has anymore secrets or insights or answers to life then you do....were all noobs and were all experiencing it together.
Vanderhoof
Trakanon Raider
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Yeah, and a psychiatrist for meds. I'm just... fucking impatient. I've lost literally half my fucking life to this. I don't want to lose anymore.
Vaclav
Bronze Baronet of the Realm
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It's impossible to know how much time you really have - so dwelling on how much time you've lost is relatively pointless - with the time I allowed myself to be down before I changed my path was literally almost 20 years of my 38 years on this planet. And I kept letting stuff get worse and worse.
Hell, I even skipped the other shitty thing that happened recently because I'm getting so mellow about things - I'm only 38 years old and my doctor is putting me on a (slightly) restrictive diet and possibly medication to be evaluated in three months because of me being on the fringes of heart disease. (Something that killed my paternal grandfather in his early 40's and my uncle had his first heart attack in his mid 40's...)
I might have literally lost most of my life to this (I had some anxiety even before when I think I probably was first truly depressed too mind you, my oculodigitaldental dysplasia made me very self-conscious for a long time) and I could be losing my life soon if I have a heart attack in my early 40's like my genetics imply if it occurs at the wrong time. [alone/driving/etc]
It's good to be motivated - which it sounds like you absolutely are - but at the same time, don't allow yourself to be discouraged because things aren't happening fast enough or there's a small backslide occasionally.