Kirun
Buzzfeed Editor
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That's what firearms are for, my man. I've fired plenty of dudes and I wish a mothafuckah would.
Depression
- Thread starter Tarrant
- Start date
Cutlery
Kill All the White People
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Oh, I got plenty of those. Hell, there's one in my work bag. But just because they come to my house doesn't mean I'm home, and I've got a wife and kids to worry about
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Control
Silver Baronet of the Realm
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Also, unless you never leave the bunker, offence is a fuck of a lot easier than defense.
Koushirou
Log Wizard
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I still feel like shit. Sure, there's some relief and feels like a weight's been taken off, but I don't really feel any better and I certainly don't feel happy or even content. My goals in life were job, marriage, house and 2/3 of those were failures. I have no goals anymore. I'm never going to get a decent job again. I was a mid software dev at best and any roles I might have been able to fit into previously are just going to get eaten up by AI and street shitters. No point in going back to school. I can't afford it anyway, seeing as I still have $40k in student loans I'm still trying to pay off from my first go. What would I even study? Even if I did go, by the time I finished and went into a new line of work, I'm too old to have the time to ever get good at it. I'm never going to have a relationship worth a shit. I can't even make in person friends; I'm a fucking dead end and a loser and anyone with a brain can see it from a mile away.
What the fuck do I do? I'm well on track to just being a drain on society. I truly can't see any possible future worth living for. I know, I'm a broken fucking record, but sadly I'm too much of a coward to just fucking finish it as I've tried to push myself to and just...can't, so more shitposting here, I guess.
What the fuck do I do? I'm well on track to just being a drain on society. I truly can't see any possible future worth living for. I know, I'm a broken fucking record, but sadly I'm too much of a coward to just fucking finish it as I've tried to push myself to and just...can't, so more shitposting here, I guess.
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Control
Silver Baronet of the Realm
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None of us are 100% in control of outcomes, so focus on the process instead. Even on a shitty day, you can grit your teeth for a few seconds and intellect through what a reasonable process would be. Imagine that a confident, successful person somehow woke up in your situation today. What steps would they take tomorrow? Forget the long-term goals for a little while. Just focus on the specific steps for today that you're completely in control of. Eat healthy food, exercise for an hour (or 10 minutes, or whatever), apply to 10 jobs, reach out to 10 people in your industry directly, spend 2 hours doing interview prep, 2 more learning a specific skill. Then repeat. If you take right actions every day, the outcomes will sort themselves out eventually.
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moonarchia
The Scientific Shitlord
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When I was young my dreams were to go to Japan, get a degree in CS, and to work at ILM. The abortion of the first just 3 months into a year of foreign exchange left me a broken shell of a human being at 18, and by the time I was able to get back up the other two were long gone as well. I spent the next 12 years hating myself and life in general. I understand where you are, and I want you to know that as long as you don't take the early check out there is always hope.
For me that took learning how to let go. That meditation I mentioned a few pages ago was what opened the door. When I traced my depression back to the source it forced me to see, and ultimately accept myself for who and what I am. That allowed me to start over again, and by focusing on the things I am mediocre at I was able to forge a career and personal path that I am mostly content with.
You are not a loser. You will never be a loser until you give up. Loss and pain are unavoidable parts of life, but they come and go as they choose.
Endure through this sucky period. If you honestly don't think you will get that kind of job again ditch the house and start over with mom and dad. That is both the financially and emotionally best option you have. Put your money into your Roth IRA and 401k or whatever to grow while you focus on yourself and your family.
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Lambourne
Bronze Baronet of the Realm
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I recall reading a story by someone severely depressed that jumped off the Golden Gate. As soon as he jumped, he realized all of his problems were fixable. Except the one he just jumped into.
By some miracle he lived to tell about it. He's a motivational speaker today.
Found a clip of him speaking, worth a watch.
By some miracle he lived to tell about it. He's a motivational speaker today.
Found a clip of him speaking, worth a watch.
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Julian The Apostate
Vyemm Raider
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Sounds like you’re at a great place to make some major changes for the better in your life.
Do you exercise and/or have any physical hobbies? If not start exercising and find some hobbies in the outdoors. Could be frisbee golf, hiking, kayaking, going for walks/jogging. Force yourself to do this and find your next passion in this way. Then look for your next career based off of that passion. AI isn’t going away and I think everyone will shift to more outdoor oriented activities.
Focus on physical activity, self forgiveness, and healing, and every thing will fall into place. Make a decision to stop thinking negatively about yourself. Learn to use meditation and prayer to break negative/suicidal thought patterns everytime they happen. Try to meditate for 5-10 minutes a day to learn how to clear your head. This part is so important, stay positive and learn stop and disrupt negative thought patterns.
Don’t worry about making friends or relationships until you forgive and Love yourself. Just my 2 cents. You got this.
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Sanrith Descartes
Its all the Joos' fault. Am I doing this right?
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Your view of your place in the world is skewed rigjt now. Find a national park (a big one) and just go spend some time there. Unplugged. Let the realization sink in of just how magnificent the world truly is. You need a reset and just continuing down the same path doing the same things isnt a reset. Nature heals.
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Cad
scientia potentia est
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Life is long and things change; I went back to school in my 30's and made a whole new career doing it, 15 years later I'm retiring. You can't look at where you are and think it will always be like that. My mom had 2 failed marriages, got re-married at 40 and was married to him for the rest of her life. She turned her life and career around in her 40's and made a good go of it.
I'm not trying to be mean but the only thing stopping you from doing these things is you. You gotta get out of your own head about it and just go grind away at life. Nothing good ever came easily - you gotta work at it.
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Seananigans
Honorary Shit-PhD
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Honestly I’d recommend taking an extended break from EQ and/or anything similar. Go be a real person again for awhile.
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Koushirou
Log Wizard
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I mean, I'm doing the exercise, I spent the day out at the park my parents would take us to when we were kids (seemed to have made a tradition of going here after relationships finished, since that's what I did last time my one ex ghosted me after two years), I touch alcohol maybe once every few months, if that, I don't take any other kind of shit. Hell, I'm the most boring fucking person in the world when it comes to that crap. Parents got mad at me on the phone today since I still feel like shit. Still expecting me to just press the magic happy button, as usual. I don't know what else to do. If I feel like I'm completely worthless and just hate myself, I don't really think there's much I can do about it at this point. Parents can't help, therapy can't help, friends can't help, meds can't help, and most importantly I can't help myself because why would I spend effort on a waste of oxygen? Nothing's going to ever make me believe I'm worth a damn, so I'm pretty sure there's no outcome other than me someday putting myself in the ground. It's impossible; I'm literally just not capable of not hating myself. It's fucking over.
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Gavinmad
Mr. Poopybutthole
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Sanrith Descartes
Its all the Joos' fault. Am I doing this right?
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Koushirou
Log Wizard
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Nah. Don't listen to Gav. He's a good guy that's just caustic in the way he says things.
If I were to play translator, and I would believe that I would be speaking for a lot of us here, I would say the sentiment would be that you're absolutely welcome to spew here. Always. That's no joke. But we all hate hearing how you denigrate yourself because we all know that you're not all the negative things you think about yourself. It's not over, you're in a bout of depression. I've been there. Many here have. We're not therapists, and we're going to say stupid and unhelpful things. Not because we don't care, but because we aren't trained to do better. Everyone here would like to be a help to you.
Everyone says "fuck cancer." I'd like to say "fuck depression."
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Gavinmad
Mr. Poopybutthole
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Yeah. Absolutely listen to Gav. That wasn't a kneejerk response, I pondered it a bit before posting.
But to clarify, that wasn't a 'stop posting' or a 'you arent welcome here' shut the fuck up, god knows I'm certainly not the arbiter of who gets to post in the depression thread. I suppose I could have made a more narrow quote because shut the fuck up was mainly in response to the whiny suicide talk which I won't abide. I get that support from some random strangers on the internet doesn't mean much in terms of healing all the wear and tear life has inflicted on your soul over the years but we are here for you and we are trying so don't fucking disrespect us by talking about killing yourself.
I've never really liked the whole 'there are starving kids in Africa' bit that parents would do when you wouldn't eat your dinner but if you really want to know what bleak misery feels like I'll come crash at your place for a week. I bet in under 72 hours you'd have a whole new appreciation for life as well as an urgent need for a shovel and a bag of lime.
Springbok
Karen
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You’re an eternal being, with spirit and soul. Go to church tomorrow and talk to god.
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Lambourne
Bronze Baronet of the Realm
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Nobody else can fix you, that's right. But you can fix you, which is great because it means you don't need anyone else to fix you. Just like nobody else can make someone lose weight, they can only show someone how.
Trust the process. Do the exercises the therapist gave you, clean your room (it's not a meme), treat yourself like you would a friend that's staying at your house. Success is built on a thousand small victories, not one big one.
If you feel stuck, watch some motivating content, there's plenty of it around and it'll help a lot more than negative shit like politics. Like that guy above or Jordan Peterson clips.