A plateau is normal. Keep it up and push yourself harder at the gym. Use ChatGPT to tailor a diet towards your goal. Diet/gym is 70/30.
Depression
- Thread starter Tarrant
- Start date
Control
Silver Baronet of the Realm
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Just my opinion, but start dumping 1000% of your energy into your job search until you have that sorted out. Not having income just multiplies any problem you have, so getting that fixed is probably the highest leverage use of your time and energy (still exercise of course though, since that should make you better at everything else). Spend half the day searching/applying and the rest on interview prep or resume/portfolio building. Literally, if you're awake, be working on fixing your income. A new job will also introduce you to a whole set of new people too.
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Rajaah
Honorable Member
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Cutlery
Kill All the White People
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Seriously.
Hey, get a job in a warehouse. It will burn calories like nothing youve ever done before, you'll make decent money, and since warehouses are total sausage fests, you'll even look like a 10 there too!
Best part is the job sucks, so you'll double your efforts on the job search just to get outta there!
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Koushirou
Log Wizard
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I already feel like a failure even considering it (among other things) and I’ve told them as much. Just also seems unnecessary to burden them when I have a perfectly good place to live already. I also don’t mind the not having to give a fuck since there’s no one else here, but I’m not sure if it outweighs the cons. I’m not really even sure what I want to do on this one.
Cad
scientia potentia est
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Humans are a social species and being alone a lot is not good. Even being with your parents is better than being alone, especially if you're trying to come out of a funk. They don't see you as a burden or they wouldn't have offered. Or at least not a burden they aren't willing to carry. Think about things you do in your life, just about everything is a burden. But some you don't mind because the benefits outweigh the burden. Think of it that way with your parents, of course anybody staying at your house is a burden, but you want them there anyway - they see a benefit in you.
Seananigans
Honorary Shit-PhD
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moonarchia
The Scientific Shitlord
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Not being able to control the universe doesn't make you a failure. I get the whole self disappointment thing, but your parents want to help you, and you need it. You don't need to make it more complicated than that.
Right now you *don't* have a good place to live. You have a fire burning away whatever assets you have left after the divorce and no job to offset that. You need to nail down exactly how many months you can keep mortgage and bills paid with what you have right now. If it is 6 months or less you need to get the house listed immediately, before it destroys you. The only way this changes is if you get a job with the same income or better than what you had before. Or you could join Samdaman in the slumlord business and rent the house out for enough to pay for mortgage and bills on it. That would still leave you in the position of needing a place to live, though.
What your parents can offer is a secure home with people who love you. You happen to be in a position where you need both of those things right now.
Keep focusing on the things you can do. Get resumes out there by the boatload. Stop putting time and energy into shallow and false online relationships, and either build new ones with the people in your vicinity, or put that energy into the people who actually are in your life. Keep up the meditation. The skill of letting go is pretty fucking OP in life.
I’m of the opposite opinion. You should be doing everything you can to avoid moving back in with your parents. You’ve left the nest, it’s time to fly. If you aren’t working, you shouldn’t have time for extracurricular activities like playing EverQuest. Get to the Wawa and apply for an overnight job, do something.
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Honestly this is really good advice, doesn't have to be a warehouse job, just anything that includes more physical activity/is more hands on. I was over 400lbs when I got out of high school, college was a joke and I dropped out after a year, went into a huge depressive state, quit my job, stayed at home and did nothing but play EQ2 for over a year. Finally ran out of money I had saved for college, and had to get a new job and help out. I briefly had a job at Burger King during that summer until the AC broke and I nearly died being stuck between the fryer and the broiler, literally went to the restroom, took my uniform off, came back and put it on the counter and quit on the spot. Walked up the street a block, put in an application at a local grocery store for stocking, and got that job same week. Stocking shelves I wound up dropping down to 220 over the course of about a year, probably the best thing that could have happened to me. There is a satisfaction that comes with working with your hands and being able to tangibly see your progress or completion of your goal. Having moved more into Corporate IT, it's been something I've missed, and my waste line also shows it.
As for finding someone, get a job at Lowes or something similar, they are basically giant dating hubs. I'd avoid Best Buy, having worked 7 years for Geek Squad, it's more teeny weeny's and drama than anything, whereas Lowes tends to attract a more mature employee base (ymmv).
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Cutlery
Kill All the White People
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I was only half joking. The other half was it is actually legit advice.
Warehouses are 98% dudes, and there's usually one dyke who's "one of the guys," but women generally don't work there. Almost every time I did see an attractive woman in there she either banged the entire pick shift, or she found one dude and they both ended up calling in/showing up late and we had to fire them both for attendance. It kinda sucks that every time we hired a woman I was almost guaranteed to lose both her and one of my best guys, but that's the way it goes.
Even the unattractive gals get more attention than they can handle, because the entire business is just dudes being sweaty and dirty. A 4 walks thru the warehouse and every swinging dick is peeking around corners at her.
We had one chick like 15 years ago back when I was picking, Emily I think her name was. And I could always tell when it had been too long since I got laid when Emily started looking good. She ended up fucking the union steward and I never respected him after that.
But yes - you work some 12 hour days on your feet and you're gonna lose weight. A lot of it. I handed out shirts in training and invariably 2 months later I would be handing out XL's to all the guys I handed out 2XLs to if they made it.
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Working a factory job, especially as a rebound job, is a good way to get some perspective as well. Makes you really appreciate when you get back to what you really want to do. Maybe this is just a guy thing though, not sure what a typical rebound job would be for women. Couple of my military buddies tried to do roofing one summer, talked a big game about how much money they were going to make, and they'd probably have their own business soon, lasted about a month before the two of them quit. The one immediately went back to an office job and I honestly don't think I've ever heard him complain about work after that.
Cutlery
Kill All the White People
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It's probably the same for women
I trained a 50 year old woman to be a picker 3 years ago. She was a high school gym teacher. I asked why she wanted to leave that and she said "I can't deal with those kids anymore" and I told her "whelp - bad news. They're all here."
She started having arthritis problems in her hands within a few months and thankfully I was able to get her onto a forklift to keep her, but she lasted exactly one year - went right back to the high school she left from.
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Sanrith Descartes
Its all the Joos' fault. Am I doing this right?
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Can agree with this. My previous company there were times we were short handed and I would end up going down the warehouse and running a forklift for the day. Enjoyed the shit out of the change of atmosphere from my office and only really having to focus on one task. Working with your hands/physical work is good for you.