Generalized family drama

Ossoi said:

Found out earlier via my stepdad that my dad was found dead in his bed. Sister got him to tell me because I don't want any contact with her

Phoned my half sister, first time I've spoke to her since she was a kid. She's 34 now I think, I don't even know

Was worried I'd have to arrange his funeral etc, even though he was never around for me as a kid. And because he fucked up our relationship as adults massively twice.

Apparently his brother is back from China or wherever the hell he went traveling to in the 80s. So I guess him and my half sister will do it

Not even sure I want to go to funeral for a guy I barely knew and who made no attempt to apologise (which was really all I was waiting for maybe)

I got some texts off an unknown number a few months ago, offering me football tickets, I assumed it was him so I ignored it. Same number then sent me photos at Glastonbury (like Coachella) also ignored it.

Also don't want to go funeral to see a load of people I don't know and havent seen since I was a child, family or not. Also don't want to see my full sister who I've not spoken to for 15 years

It was weird timing though. Just last month I messaged an old university tutor about the archive of BBC tapes he was managing. These were "YouTube before YouTube" - random people around the uk shooting very short segments as a large scale documentary series. My dad had contributed to these, so I asked the tutor what he was doing with them

Also found my dad's YouTube channel, he came across as an embarrassment. Auditioning for Britain's got talent with shitty stand-up, getting into fights with neighbours etc

I honestly think he was always chasing some big short cut to money. I remember him trying to latch onto some asbestos lawsuit when I was younger.

He was also featured in a newspaper article which made me think he was living out of a campervan. My half sister says he lived in a house, no idea how much it was worth but any inheritance will be more than what he contributed to my upbringing (allegedly according to my mother but she wasn't exactly mentally stable)

My half sister said he was probably dead a while before anyone checked on him, and lived a lonely life because she'd moved to London. I dunno, the signal kept breaking up so we didn't speak that long

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Ossoi said:

I doubt it. Although tbh I have no idea. Yes, my father was born in and grew up in Liverpool Chinatown, but apparently his mother was like half Chinese, or 3/4 (I have no idea, he wasn't in my life much so I am only going on what I heard as a kid, and even some of those details passed down via my mother turned out not to be the whole story) - so he wasn't considered full Chinese and accepted by the rest of the community. He didn't speak Chinese.

My grandfather was one of the Chinese seamen who worked in British merchant navy during WW2, was a POW twice, had a wife and daughter in Liverpool. Then him and a load of other Chinese seamen got deported back to China/Hong Kong after WW2, leaving behind their families. Fortunately for me, somehow he made it back under a different name. He wanted to be buried under his own name, so had a Chinese gravestone made long before he died. My father was born a few years after my grandfather made it back

Even if it is a Chinese funeral - if I didn't have any contact with him, don't want to help arrange the funeral etc. Why would I care about him losing face now that he's dead? How much face do you think he lost by me cutting contact with him for the last 15 years of his life?

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Ossoi said:

Edit: my dad had the same username for his tripadvisor and ebay account lol. I knew he had a "Trump NOPE" t-shirt in the style of Obama Hope. But in one of his tripadvisor pics he's wearing a Lincoln Project shirt. I knew he was left leaning, but how the fuck a Chinese dude from Liverpool has even heard of Lincoln Project let alone acquires their merch is beyond me

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