Girls who broke your heart thread

Arkk

Arkk

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Dabamf said:
I"m laughing as I"m typing this because this whole thing has just turned preposterous. *I* mentioned the apartment thingon here onlymonths ago because it was confusing to me but it has NEVER arisen as an issue between me and her until this mini mini argument we had on Saturday. Oct. 31 was given as a "I"ll be ok with it then" not as "Oct31 is the date we go see it." And it was resolved, she said I can go any time now. If she"s lying, she"s got the IQ of a brick because it"s a lie that I can verify the next time I decide I wanna go to her god damn apartment.

Situation summary: we"ve been dating for 3 months, she is not comfortable with me seeing her apartment, and we got in a (read: ONE) mini mini argument about it on Saturday, and she as agreed to let me go any time I want in the future.You guys are seriously totally fucking insane. If you"re just trolling, then well done, because your responses make less sense than that fucking pancake rabbit.
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I seriously don"t get how you can take time to write 5 paragraph responses to people about your thoughts and opinions, and the minute anyone brings up theirs regarding your highly sketchy situation, you are in shock.

You posted your issue. Why did you post it if it was no big deal? Why did you get into an argument about it? If were all wrong and you are completely right, then why did you bother writing your novel to complain about it?

You sound like a fucking sociopath.
 
Eomer

Eomer

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Dabamf, I"m not trying to jump on you (and most of the responses save for a few aren"t either), but as others are saying your reaction to people"s "advice" is somewhat telling in the same way my reactions have been in the past. You give me shit for not listening, and you"re doing the exact same thing!

So the friend in Calgary, Diane, texted me tonight. Started off with a picture of a "I <3 crackwhores" bumper sticker she saw today, and she again said for me to call her next time I"m in town. I texted back a bit more detail about when I"d be around, she texted back that I should tell my bud in Calgary, his GF, and whoever else would be around that she"d have us over for dinner when it works, I let her know that she just invited about 8 of us over, she laughed and said that if anyone can throw a party it"s her and to bring it on. I laughed and said I was surprised she was playing Suzy Homemaker these days. Her last text was:

"Really, I wouldn"t call it that I would say a "socialite"! Night Mr Big. See u when u r back from your travels. Maybe..."

Something to look forward to on the flight home!
 
Arkk

Arkk

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Eomer said:
Dabamf, I"m not trying to jump on you (and most of the responses save for a few aren"t either), but as others are saying your reaction to people"s "advice" is somewhat telling in the same way my reactions have been in the past. You give me shit for not listening, and you"re doing the exact same thing!
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Except the big, sane difference with you is when someone goes "I think she is being shady" you don"t reply "OH MY GOD U GUYS ARE SO FUCKING CRAZY THERES NO FUCKING WAY THATS THE CASE! WHAT? THE 2 COCKS IN EACH HAND? SHE WAS FALLING, SHE HAD TO GRAB ONTO SOMETHING!"
 
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Dabamf_sl

shitlord
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Gryeyes said:
The issue is she does not trust you, and does not feel the need to be open with you.
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Yea I had to cherry pick this statement, but that is the issue to me and I agree with you. Fortunately, issues building trust is something I explicitly prepared myself for from the moment I decided to date a Korean girl given how reserved they are, how westerners have a reputation for using them and going home, and other factors. So, if that"s the issue, well I"m pretty fuckin happy cuz that"s what I expected and that can be dealt with.

The general accusation is that I act like I"m different than other posters, and my response would be different if someone else had posted the same story. My response? Well, that"s true. I do think I"m different than most posters. I am because I am in complete control of my situation. I enjoy my time with this girl but if things were to go sour I have at least one korean and anywhere between 1-3 american girls that I could call and go out with *tomorrow*. And, while I don"t take advantage of it, the balance of this relationship is tipped quite strongly in my favor.

Your evaluation of all that? Don"t give a fuck. Oh, but EVERYONE thinks they are different. I hear that a lot, usually from girls who talk about guys being dicks for sleeping around (and how they treat the girls) which I have done from time to time when single. My response is always, "just because everyone says they are different doesn"t mean that none are." If it was another poster I may be more skeptical simply because of the limited nature of the information given, no doubt.My real error in posting the story was that I figured given my advice history in this thread, and few people would doubt that I know what the fuck I"m talkin about, a simple "no, I got it" response from me would quell the concern.My mistake.
 
Brad2770

Brad2770

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I need to read the other last few pages another time, I am too tired, but before my "girlfriend" remark gets too burried, i will respond to a few that mentioned how I went about it.

We were talking about us. We had this conversation last year, actually, but it was empty for me. Everything I said last year was just what she wanted to hear so I could keep getting laid.

This year, I was the one that brought it up. She knows how I am about kissing and titles. I told her I wanted to be different than I used to be and asked her if we were a couple: boyfriend and girlfriend. i told her that I would like to refer to her as my girlfriend to other people when i talked about her and she said she would like that.

Thats pretty much how it went. Thats why I said I felt silly.
 
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Gryeyes_foh

shitlord
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So you assumed that if your actions,logic and rationale were identical in all aspects to the people you deride that you would be given a pass? No dude, you don"t understand IM SPECIAL! Its totally different when its me doing the stupid shit I berate other people about. But now this has progressed to the point were the original issue of your gf acting shady, is overshadowed by your attempts at "explaining" it.


You acting "different" than other posters isn"t the issue. Its that you believe your special magic somehow negates the logic and reality of your story, just by dint of being yourself. Its fairly disturbing, you would laugh at anyone telling you this shit. And you really don"t appear to be aware or incapable of understanding how laughably twatish it is.

You seem to be acting glaringly stereotypical for someone who believes they are special. Yeah you are in total control of the situation. Three fucking months and you just got permission to come over. But I wasn"t intending to dog pile on ya so I will stop.
 
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Dabamf_sl

shitlord
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Gryeyes said:
So you assumed that if your actions,logic and rationale were identical in all aspects to the people you deride that you would be given a pass? No dude, you don"t understand IM SPECIAL! Its totally different when its me doing the stupid shit I berate other people about. But now this has progressed to the point were the original issue of your gf acting shady, is overshadowed by your attempts at "explaining" it.


You acting "different" than other posters isn"t the issue. Its that you believe your special magic somehow negates the logic and reality of your story, just by dint of being yourself. Its fairly disturbing, you would laugh at anyone telling you this shit. And you really don"t appear to be aware or incapable of understanding how laughably twatish it is.

You seem to be acting glaringly stereotypical for someone who believes they are special. Yeah you are in total control of the situation. Three fucking months and you just got permission to come over. But I wasn"t intending to dog pile on ya so I will stop.
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The difference is that when my girl acts shady, I am supremely confident in my ability to handle the situation properly and make sure it doesn"t happen again. And if I am unable to change anything, I am supremely confident in my ability to recognize that and act accordingly. I am not confident in other posters because they are not me and I do not know them. The end.
 
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Gryeyes_foh

shitlord
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Oh, well that changes everything. You are confident that you are not a dumbfuck, therefore you are not one. But everyone else woud be in the same situation and you would berate them. Thanks for confirming you really do have some DEEP issues.
 
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Grooverider_foh

shitlord
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Dabamf said:
The difference is that whenmy girl acts shady, I am supremely confident in my ability to handle the situation properly and make sure it doesn"t happen again. And if I am unable to change anything, I am supremely confident in my ability to recognize that and act accordingly. I am not confident in other posters because they are not me and I do not know them. The end.
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If you"ve been seeing her for 3 months and you aren"t allowed to see her place, guess what - she is not "your girl".
 
Ronaan

Ronaan

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Brad2770 said:
When did you guys "know" she was your girlfriend?
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I"d say right after the first kiss...
... which, funny enough, happened in her apartment. She invited me to come over before we even were a couple. Cultural difference I guess.

Been going on for over 3 months now, things are still great. Couldn"t be any happier. Her family is full of nice people, she"s great with her niece and nephew, she likes to come with me when I visit my parents or brother, all that stuff.

If it weren"t for you guys, I"d probably still / again be stuck with my crazy psycho ex. Thanks again for getting me out of that. FoHSS - Internet Heroes.
 
Cutlery

Cutlery

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arkk123 said:
Except the big, sane difference with you is when someone goes "I think she is being shady" you don"t reply "OH MY GOD U GUYS ARE SO FUCKING CRAZY THERES NO FUCKING WAY THATS THE CASE! WHAT? THE 2 COCKS IN EACH HAND? SHE WAS FALLING, SHE HAD TO GRAB ONTO SOMETHING!"
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I know you and I don"t see eye to eye most of the time, and you"re a colossal douchebag for the most part, but that was goddamned funny.

Dabamf said:
The difference is that when my girl acts shady, I am supremely confident in my ability to handle the situation properly and make sure it doesn"t happen again. And if I am unable to change anything, I am supremely confident in my ability to recognize that and act accordingly. I am not confident in other posters because they are not me and I do not know them. The end.
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What you fail to grasp is that you are now "Other posters." Think about it dude. If you were reading your posts with someone else"s name to the left, what would you be thinking? You would really say it"s okay, non issue, don"t sweat it? Really? I don"t think you would. And no one else here thinks you would either. That"s the problem. And when we present this evidence to you, you get defensive and offended that we would even suggest that you, the High King of Pussy Slaying, would dare stoop to such a level.

Here"s the truth man, the honest to god truth. When YOU are in the situation, you cannot act objectively. You have a vested emotional interest in the bond, and are willing to overlook certain things in order to keep that emotional interest in tact. That"s why women stay with men who treat them like shit. Happens every day. "Well, no, the beatings only happen when I talk out of turn. You guys just don"t see that the love is there." Is your situation as extreme? No, and I"m not suggesting it is, but what I"m suggesting is that already you show signs of not being able to be objective about your relationship, and what"s worse is that you blew up and got defensive about it like you could do no wrong. Dude, you"re 24. You can do wrong, you will do wrong, and you"re not even close to done doing wrong. You"re gonna fuck up many more times in your life and there ain"t shit you can do about it. The only thing you can do is accept the fact that you"re going to make mistakes and be blind to things that are going on because you choose to be in a relationship. It"s not your friends" (Or in the case of this thread, your E-Friends) fault when they point them out.

You can take one of 3 approaches in the situation. 1) You can take the advice of your friends and either fix the problem or kick the bitch to the curb. 2) You can pull the fan favorite of this thread -- the ol" "Well, I dunno guys, she just doesn"t seem like that to me. I"m just gonna see where this goes." (and we all fucking know where it"s going, which makes it hilarious), or 3) you can do the "THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH MY GIRL AND MY RELATIONSHIP. I KNOW WHAT I"M DOING AND SHE LOVES ME AND I LOVE HER AND FUCK YOU GUYS FOR SUGGESTING OTHERWISE." You"ve gone full retard man. Not only have you ignored the advice that was given by the vast majority of the thread, you have also decided that you"re going to make a spectacle out of it, so when the relationship fails, everyone can bring it back up every time you get smarmy with them.

Not the choice I wouldda went with, personally. You don"t think I heard it all? I"ve been married for 10 years, and got married at 19. It was "won"t last a year, won"t last 2 years, won"t last 5 years, won"t last 10 years." You know what I say? Hey, if it doesn"t, oh well. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I know I"m emotionally vested in the relationship, which is why I depended on my friends in the very early days to let me know what an issue was and what wasn"t. Some guys need to be told what issues are. Some guys need to be told that they"re being fucking ridiculous and to knock their shit off. That"s where your friends come in, because you can"t see it for yourself.

Time to step back and realize that no one is going to take the long winded shit you post about how other people are handling their relationships wrong when people can"t question yours. Legitimately I might add. And don"t say it"s not, because if it wasn"t an issue, you wouldn"t have brought it up.
 
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Dabamf_sl

shitlord
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TheCutlery said:
1) You can take the advice of your friends and either fix the problem or kick the bitch to the curb.
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What advice?

All that happened was I got mobbed by a bunch of people who have never posted in the thread before with such vigor that they had to have been jerking off as they were typing. There is no advice in this thread in regards to me other than what whyme posted.
 
Tarrant

Tarrant

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Not sure why so many people are wanting to nail Dabamf to a cross at the moment, seriously.

As said before, had this been an American girl, yeah it woulda been grounds to kick her ass to the curb eventually, but with the language barrier, cultural differences and any number of other things it warrants a different approach. For all Dabamf knows he may have been misunderstanding something or who knows and could have ruined something he enjoys over something that while bugs him, isn"t that big of a deal breaker yet.

He handled it, problem solved and he did so well and with his relationship intact...as long as she follows through with her word this time, there"s no issue and he is still with a hot Korean girl that he likes, how is this a bad thing?
 
Eomer

Eomer

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Dabamf said:
What advice?

All that happened was I got mobbed by a bunch of people who have never posted in the thread before with such vigor that they had to have been jerking off as they were typing. There is no advice in this thread in regards to me other than what whyme posted.
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Bullshit. I made a post, and so did several others that were very reasonable and not of the dog pile type. Maybe you missed them, or just got caught up in the other ones, I don"t know. But there"s half a dozen posts directed at you that were reasonable.
 
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Stratos_foh

shitlord
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0
Even if the argument is that Dabamf becomes the very same delusional person he criticizes from the outside once he"s the one in a relationship, that doesn"t make his arguments on the outside any less relevant.

so what if what he preaches is hard / impossible to follow. the idea is to try as best you can to follow what he preaches, even if you are going to fail in many ways. His advice makes rational sense... but a relationship makes being irrational so much easier than rational.

dabamf"s advice in this thread is a goal that may be borderline impossible to fully integrate in relationships with women, but it"s still a good idea to keep that advice in mind and integrate it as much as your "in-a-relationship" weakened mind can handle.

and dabamf, your only mistake was responding so strongly to the criticism posted. re-fucking-lax. Something as easy as "I"m still getting laid, so I"ll play it by ear, but you"re right, that was some shady shit and lack of trust on her part, so I"m prepared with the possibility that I will have to end things and move on. I"ll let you guys know

ABOUT THE BODIES, OH SHIT SHE HAS A KNIFE."

trying to defend her was a mistake. only time will tell whether or not she was worth defending.
 
Tarrant

Tarrant

<Prior Amod>
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Well if she"s as cool as he says she is and he likes her then it was worth it for now, no one ever knows what long term will bring so you can"t really say if it"s worth it now or not....because honestly who the fuck ever knows what the future will bring.

They"ve been together 3 months, long enough to actually want to work on something if you hit a bump in the road, she"s pretty hot and they have a good time together...I don"t blame him for wanting to handle the situation with a way he"s comfortable with without just jumping to the worst conclusion possible, he obviously knows he better then anyone posting here.
 
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wild_whiskey_foh

shitlord
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I"m not sure how many other dudes have had Korean girlfriends (in Korea, not Korean-Americans) on here, but as someone who has had several, I can attest to Dabamf"s experience.

There"s a pretty significant cultural stigma about girls inviting men over to their apartments.

I agree with others that she isn"t being honest about why he can"t come over, but it"s not because she"s cheating on him or he has anything to worry about finding. It"s just that Korean girls are extremely resistant to having men who they aren"t married to entering their private space. It"s for this reason that the boyfriend never meet"s the girl"s family until marriage is all but guaranteed.

Of course not every situation is the same, but if I recall correctly, dabamf"s girl is pretty young, and if my 6th sense about Korean girls hasn"t died off yet since leaving the country, I have a pretty clear interpretation of what kind of girl she is. It"s not like in western countries where you try to charm the shit out of her parents to make her like you more, or where you can surprise them with breakfast on their doorstep when they look like shit and their house smells like dirty bedsheets and nail polish remover.

When he said the she wouldn"t let him into her apartment, I just thought, "been there, done that." Korean girls obsess about petty issues of perceived morality. Not all of them, but many of them, and it"s been clear since the beginning that dabamf"s girl has some more of these caveats yet to get over still. I"m not sure you can call it a character flaw, because nearly every girl under 25 I dated in Korea had the same issue, and were fine girlfriends otherwise (okay well, not the one that told me she was engaged after we fucked).

Girls will be absolutely infatuated with you, want to spent 100% of their time together, etc. but only in accepted ways, like at Hofs (basically after-work drinking pubs equivalent to Japanese izakaya), coffee shops, clubs, etc. Many would rather you bone them on a leather couch in a rented DVD-viewing room that"s been saturated by a few thousand squirts of jizz and no doubt some lady juices too (Korean girls get particularly wet, IME) than they would come back to your place, because they actually believe it feels less whore-like in a DVD Bang than in a guy"s apartment, or god forbid, her own.
 
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Tenks

Bronze Knight of the Realm
14,163
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She"s 30 or over iirc but yeah regardless everyone is blowing the situation way out of proportion. Everyone with half a clue knew it was simply a cultural thing. The topic of morality in Asian culture strikes me as a bit odd since we have so many religious nutjobs over here in the bible belt yet I"ve always spent more time at my girlfriend"s house than my own.

Also I don"t know if it"s because they live in America or what but every single Asian female I work with seems to have horrible self confidence. At least their body language dictates so. You make eye contact with them and they immediately just look at their feet, they apologize for everything and get really quite if anyone else is around. Again not sure if females in Asian culture are all like this or what but the ones I work with kind of annoy me because of it.
 
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Dumar_sl

shitlord
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uh, apparently this is many peoples first time dating in an asian country before? seriously, this happens all the time, from korea to japan to china.

she"s married/engaged/live in bf. she wants to have fun with white cock. the end.
 
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Gryeyes_foh

shitlord
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0
Tarrant220 said:
Not sure why so many people are wanting to nail Dabamf to a cross at the moment, seriously.
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Because his insane/hypocritical attempt at a defense combined with the fact that he is completely full of shit and seemingly unable to even perceive this fact? The issue with his short term gf is really incidental to why hes being burned in effigy. Its that he revealed himself to be legitimately insane a hypocrite and a high order douche bag all at once.

And his rationalization demonstrated beyond a reasonable doubt that he was all talk and no walk.
 
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