Girls who broke your heart thread

Dabamf_sl

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Eomer, if there"s EVER a time to say "never again," this is it. Hopefully that cemented in your mind that shit is never fucking gonna work out with this girl.

You will know the answer why she was acting like she is. Don"t contact her ever again, see other women, and move on with your life. In a year when you are slightly more mature (I"m not sayin you"re immature, you"re older than me, just saying a year from now you will be more than you are now) and have moved on from her, I"d put a lot of money on you being able to look back and know EXACTLY where you went wrong. This has happened with me for every chick I fucked up. Months or a year later I look back and the answer is clear as day.

Tarrant220 said:
People are so cynical about shit, our first reaction is to foresee failure and we wonder why society as a whole is so fucked up, we wonder why relationships are so fucked up. 90% of this thread is cynical people posting negative things with low expectations of how everything and anything will turn out poorly.
I still don"t think keeping it this early is a good idea, but I like this post. This thread is stupid as hell with naysayers about everything.
 

Tarrant

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-shrugs- we"re both against abortion as a means of birth control (it"s fine in the case where pregnancy would endanger the mothers life) even if we weren"t we wouldn"t want to go that route. We feel we both have a lot to offer to the child and it"s not like we"re some young kids who don"t know what the hell we"re doing.

It"ll be fine, nothing in life is easy and usually the things that are the hardest end up as being the most rewarding. I"m confident in the situation, with her and with us.
 
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I guess I still dont understand why the morning after pill wasn"t a priority when you had a break.

I get being against abortion as BC. I"m the same way.

But the morning after pill is the same as the pill for all practical purposes (esp if shes on certain progesterone based pills).

To me, the fact that at 4.5 months (and you mentioned she works in pediatrics so she knows/should know about this assuming when you said "in pediatrics" you didn"t mean as a janitor) she didn"t run out the next morning (if it were me at 4 years with my fiance getting married in 8 months I"d find a 24 hour CVS IMMEDIATELY fuck waiting til the morning) and get the morning after pill...

It comes off to me as she at best didn"t care if she got pregnant and at worst was secretly hoping to get pregnant.

It"s just not responsible behavior 4.5 months into ANY relationship dude. She JUST met your kids. She didn"t know how that would go when she got pregnant because that hadn"t even happened yet - correct? So not being extra careful in light of all of these factors....

big red flag for me.

Sincerely wish you the best of luck and I"m not going to tell you to abort because your POV also happens to be mine...but instead of being....delusional about it....try to have your eyes open a little wider. I"ll tell you the same thing I tell Brad. There"s children (born and unborn) involved. You can"t afford to have your head up your ass and while you have to be positive for your mental state don"t shine yourself on like "oh its fine, it"ll be hard but its fine." It"s not fine. It"s not a very good situation. If your son/daughter came home and told you they were in the same position, you wouldn"t be happy about it either. Now that you know that, you make the best of your situation but don"t put blinders on.

(That being said dont even sweat what Brads saying - that dude shouldn"t even give advice/pass judgment to/on a rock. He"s just happy that he thinks he"s out of the cellar around here).
 

Tarrant

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Blinders aren"t on, I know the situation isn"t the greatest but as I"ve said....ohhhh, maybe 7 times now, I"m going to make the best of it and so is she.

If my 30 year old son or daughter came to me and told me they were having a kid with someone I wouldn"t be unhappy, concerned yes, but they"re adults who am I to tell them what to do or judge them.

Anyways, I"m not sitting here going "oh shit this is going to be fucking lolliepops and cotton candy man, fucking kids? FUCK YEA!!" I"m just saying I"m doing what I can to make the best out of it. Like I said, in any situation kids aren"t easy. I"ve been here before though (not the exact situation, but having the kids thing), I know I"m capable of handling it.

And no she"s not a janitor lol.

I"ll say it for a 9th time, I know it"s not the ideal situation, but saying people are dumb and it isn"t/wasn"t a good idea...it"s all kinda moot. Like I said, I"m staying positive because that"s what I gotta do. Doing anything else isn"t productive to the situation so that"s not on my radar. Yes I"m keeping a clear mind and if you think my mind hasn"t been racing a million miles a minute since I"ve found out then you"re silly.

As for the morning after pill, due to some conditions she has, she can"t take anything hormone related, so that was pretty much the reason that didn"t happen. We talked about it after it happened but since it"s been brought up more then once I figured I would throw that out there to answer the question. So no, it wasn;t some secret agenda on her part, the Lumie theories can stop.
 

Cutlery

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Tarrant220 said:
Well that"s a whole other topic that we can talk about another time.
Whoa whoa whoa, lets talk about it now, man. You"re gonna have to deal with this broad for the next 19 years and she ain"t into that?

You need to rethink some situations here man! This is important shit!
 

Brad2770

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Etoille said:
(That being said dont even sweat what Brads saying - that dude shouldn"t even give advice/pass judgment to/on a rock. He"s just happy that he thinks he"s out of the cellar around here).
Now youre just being silly... I said the same shit you did, but I didnt wrap it up in a nice little bow. The guy made a stupid mistake. I could care less if I am "in the cellar" on some random message board. Go eat another twinkie, you delusional cunt.


EDIT- Going to have to add that the only fucking problem with me is that after 2 1/2 years of being fucked over by my ex, I am still obsessed with her. Im not running around saying my girl died or getting women knocked up or crying over some girl that lives 1200 miles away. I "disregard bitches. acquire currency". I pretty much do what is needed to be done. So, I liked a few women and at the time and I didnt understand why it wasnt working. Now I do. I am not dating until I get that shit under control. Seems I might be learning after all.

But whatever. Fuck off.
 

Dandain

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Logically Tarrant"s situations is terrible for 99% of the population. Especially if you"re not established, in your 20"s, still want to "see the world".

But if you were early 30"s, recently divorced (assuming the instability was not instigated by you), with a couple kids already, your own business that was stable and capable of supporting more than yourself. If you ended up in the right situation with the right person of the right mindset then I can see it working.

Now, we are e-sluthes and only know what is posted here. I personally would be scared shitless for numerous reasons by an unplanned child, and I think most of us are.

However, I think we should give Tarrant the benefit of the doubt. There is a lot of details about his situation that are quite different than the rest of us. He"s not mid 20"s, he "seemed" to have gone through some soul searching and legitimate self change during the course of his current gal and the one previous that he posted about. He"s divorced, has two children. Career and location wise his life is set and stable. We may all have one or two things in common with him, but not all.

He could be an outlier.

Best of luck to you Tarrant, I"m glad I don"t randomly have a baby coming into my life, but I think it could work. We definitely lack for optimism in the USA, deal with the bullshit when it actually manifests itself in an approachable problem and don"t create a bigger challenge than actually exists.
 

Tarrant

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<div class="pre-quote">
Quote by <strong>Tarrant220</strong> </div> <div class="post-quote"> <div style="font-style:italic">Well that"s a whole other topic that we can talk about another time. <img src="http://www.fohguild.org/forums/images/smilies/wink.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Wink" class="inlineimg"></div> </div> Whoa whoa whoa, lets talk about it now, man. You"re gonna have to deal with this broad for the next 19 years and she ain"t into that?<br> <br>
You need to rethink some situations here man! This is important shit!
ROFL, she is...kiss not often enough as id like.

And brad not really sure I mistake I made. I had a condom break...not all of it so I didn"t feel it, tore a hole in the side. She cant take anything hormone related....so outside of not having sex at all, there wasn"t much I can do.

So please kindly stfu.

Also, glad youre learning from your stuff. Why obsess over the girl though when you know all she does is use you. That would kinda get me over her in a hurry so whts your train of thought on it?
 

Brad2770

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Tarrant220 said:
ROFL, she is...kiss not often enough as id like.

And brad not really sure I mistake I made. I had a condom break...not all of it so I didn"t feel it, tore a hole in the side. She cant take anything hormone related....so outside of not having sex at all, there wasn"t much I can do.

So please kindly stfu.

Also, glad youre learning from your stuff. Why obsess over the girl though when you know all she does is use you. That would kinda get me over her in a hurry so whts your train of thought on it?
The mistake was not pulling out, mang. But I will stop beating this dead horse. Im done talking about it.

As for my train of thought- I really dont know what my problem is. I have these inner battles in my head that I cant seem to get under control. One part of me loves her and wants the best for her. At times, I am truly happy that she found someone. I found out yesterday that the guy is moving in with her. (I stopped paying her bills again. She bitched at me, but told me "Soon enough, it wont matter anyways". So, either she is stripping for extra cash or that guy is moving in and paying half).

On the other hand, I hate her for what she has done to me and how she has made me feel. I dont like to lose, which makes me good at my job, but it makes me horrible at other aspects of life I cant control- Like a year and a half ago when I wanted to trash my old Boss" computer. Or the newest complaints I had about my new boss. When I feel like I have been done wrong, or that I have "lost", anger builds in me. My mind takes over and sometimes I say and do things while the "good" inner part of me is screaming for me to stop.

It"s like that Indian story about the good and bad wolf battling in the Chief"s mind and when the young warrior asked which one won, he says "The one I fed the most." It"s sad to say, but I think I feed the bad one the most and I dont know why. I know I can be over her. I was almost there once before (May of 2008, when her mom gave me her number and said I should call her). I held onto her number two weeks before I contacted her. I knew it was a bad idea, but much like what Eomer did recently with Anne, I couldnt let it go without trying one more time. That was where I lost.

Right now, I stay home and I wake up some mornings feeling good. The day goes great and all is fine in the world, but more often than not I wake up feeling like my life is over. I dont feel that inner fire that I once did and all I do is work and then crawl back into bed when I get home.

Yeah, it"s depression, I know. I like to do things on my own. I know I will work through this. I just need time.

Really, this is the first time, since our separation/divorce, that I realized it was over. Being a believer in God, I never thought that "He" would let something like this happen. I thought if my heart remained strong and I continued to believe in Him, that me and her could pull through this and be a family. I hate having doubts in God, but recently I have and it makes me sad.... and then angry. That"s the kind of stuff that makes me not want to try again. If God cant help you, then who can?
 

Lusiphur_foh

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Brad2770 said:
I dont like to lose, which makes me good at my job, but it makes me horrible at other aspects of life I cant control- Like a year and a half ago when I wanted to trash my old Boss" computer.
This right here is Grade A insight. I will freely admit I never thought you would get to this point and admit it. This is 90pc of why people give you a hard time on here. If you can admit this to yourself you are a long way down the road of making your own life better.

Everyone does need to stop bashing on Tarrant btw. It"s a shitty situation he is making the play he feels is right at the moment. I don"t get the impression from him that he expects everything to come up roses, I get the impression he hopes they will but thinks he can handle it if they don"t. Arguments about BC etc are a little redundant after the fact.

Eomer .. /facepalm .. again.
 

Ravvenn_sl

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I"m not much of a religious person, but my bible thumping Nana is. She always says God gives you the strength to help yourself. You need to accept your wife is over you, she has been since you "fucked her over" and then was given the chance to be a vindictive bitch, turned the tables, and "fucked you over". Shit happens, dude. The longer you wait for her to come back or for the feelings you have for her to fade, the more of a good life (you could be spending with someone else who isn"t a hobag) you"re going to end up missing. You"re hanging on to her because you put yourself in a position to be at her mercy. I really hope you"re still seeing a therapist, the way you"re talking, it doesn"t seem like it.

I"ll say one thing, though. Don"t act so harsh toward Tarrant because he"s bringing a child into this world that"s more or less destined for failure (I forgot your wording, but you insinuated something along those lines). You were married for quite some time, and had a child while your marriage was not even close to being perfect. Now your son is being used as a bartering tool by your wife. Plenty of long term marriages end after they have a child, if anything, it"s sadly the norm now to see kids with one parent, split parents, step-parents, etc. I"m not being mean or attacking you, I"m just pointing out this can happen to anyone. A girl in my school got pregnant by a guy when she was 16, they"re still together (she"s 33 now), are married with 2 more kids. Anything is possible.

No-one can predict if his relationship will flop, but him manning up and sticking around is a good enough sign even if they split, he will be there for his kid. There"s a ton of guys that would have ran for the hills rather than dealing with some hormonal, hyper-sensitive, chunky monkey who"s now housing the result of a broken condom. Good for him!

It"s kind of depressing how many people have no faith anymore. It"s like the only happy ending you predict in your future is after paying an extra $40 bucks post massage.

I don"t see Tarrant changing his mind despite what anyone says, so why not at least give him some credit for manning up? I don"t think it would hurtthat badto be a little positive.

PS: Eomer, delete that girls number. She"s using you to boost her ego and/or as a rebound. She"s a selfish twat. Really. Find someone who actually likes you, she doesn"t. You should probably post her tits for everyone, also, it would help you feel better.
 

Tarrant

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Brad maybe you missed where I said I WAS pulling out? It was a few posts ago, maybe read everything I type before responding to it in the future. Like I said, we were doing everything we were supposed to, sometimes things just happen. .

Dandain, Lusiphur and Ravvenn, thank you for your positive thoughts, they do mean a lot. I come off as calm cool and collected by all of this but in reality I"m as scared as anyone would be...just trying to do the best thing and be the best father/provider I can possibly be.
 

Brad2770

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Tarrant220 said:
Brad maybe you missed where I said I WAS pulling out?
Then stop cream pie"ing her...

internet joke, btw... I have nothing against you, Tarrant. I make a point to read every word you, Eomer, and Ronaan have to say, so I dont see how I over looked it, but my appologies, good sir.
 

Tarrant

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Brad are you really this retarded? I had a condom on, said condom tore, on the side, as in had a fucking hole in the side where I don"t know if it was too thin in that place or what because if the whole damn thing had just broke I would have known. (condom I used were trojan ecstasy)

Shit leaked out obviously. It doesn"t take much.

When I came, I pulled out.

There wasn"t anything else that could have been done, I"ve been nice and patient with your posts (even apologizing when I may have been a bit rude) but now you"re going out of your way to just be a jack hole.
 

Cutlery

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Brad2770 said:
Then stop cream pie"ing her...

internet joke, btw... I have nothing against you, Tarrant. I make a point to read every word you, Eomer, and Ronaan have to say, so I dont see how I over looked it, but my appologies, good sir.
You are aware that the withdrawal method ranks right up there on one of the least effective forms of birth control, right? If the condom breaks and you don"t notice it, pulling out ain"t a lifesaving maneuver.

And honestly man, if you think the only thing you"re fucking up on is being obsessed for your ex, you"re not reading far enough down the list. Cut him some slack.
 

Eomer

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Lusiphur said:
Eomer .. /facepalm .. again.
Hey! Fuck you guy! What"s there to facepalm? I"m not here whimpering about my life or trying to hatch ways of getting her back. I took one last kick at the can, lost, posted the aftermath for all to see and will continue doing my best to move on. No facepalming required!

Ravvenn said:
PS: Eomer, delete that girls number. She"s using you to boost her ego and/or as a rebound. She"s a selfish twat. Really. Find someone who actually likes you, she doesn"t. You should probably post her tits for everyone, also, it would help you feel better.
I"m pretty sure I did in the past. Not sure if I attached it or not. Should be sometime in April 2009. Just a shitty cellphone pic. Unfortunately I have no others :/.