Well even more shit has come to light and really explains every thing.
She was addicted to pain meds when she was with her husband. when she got with me I helped her get off them and she had been clean for 8 months. She went 2 weeks ago and got a perc prescription filled behind my back. She took 80 of the 90 in 2 weeks.
I talked to her mom and sister and sure enough 2 weeks ago she stopped talking to them, wouldn"t answer their phone calls any more, and stopped having any thing to do with them. She is strung out atm and is coming off them so she is all fucked in the head. If any of you have been around an addict that was in DTs they do some of the dumbest shit ever.
So now the question becomes do I just wait a few weeks till she gets off them again and try to pick up our lives? Cause I love her more than anything else in my entire life.
Fuck me. Now I don"t know wtf to do.
Cam: You believe that you love her, but you don"t know this woman. You fell in love with an image -- you perceived the things in her that you wanted to perceive and without even realizing it discarded the rest. This is what we do, as humans.
The chemicals that the brain releases when you become romantically involved with someone last anywhere from 6-9 months, and it"s those same chemicals that keep the wheels of the Rationalization Machine oiled and turning, churning out polished gems such as "she has a bit of a drug problem, but with my help I"m sure she"ll be ok", or "he"s not flirting with those girls, he"s just being friendly".
Right.
Sooner or later that oil runs out and that machine stops churning. It seems that hers, for a variety of reasons, stopped much sooner than yours.
I"m going to echo the advise of others in this thread and say that surrounding yourself with friends and family is the best thing you can do right now. Give yourself some time to calm down and then get your affairs involving her in order. Then will come the really hard part: resisting her efforts to reconnect with you.
She will almost certainly try. You will have to ignore the feelings that you believe you have for her and realize that they"re nothing but carefully constructed, self-inflicted lies. Be honest with her and calmly explain that she would not be a healthy part of your life, wish her luck and move on.
Love exists, but it"s not what you feel during the first 9 months of a relationship. Love is what"s left after the chemical haze has subsided -- it is not some effortless euphoria that lifts you on its wings and never lets you down, it is something that takes work and must be built and maintained from a mutual foundation of trust and respect.
Don"t harp on the fact that your relationship ended. I know these words might ring hollow in your present emotional state, but try and think of this as an opportunity to learn from the mistakes that were made and to use that knowledge to find someone even better. Good luck.