Girls who broke your heart thread

Not sure what you did to that girl or what she did to your sheets, but if it ever happens to me in the future (dear God, I hope not), I will yell at her for dabamfing my sheets.

Divinefactor said:

Anal leakage.

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Here"s a pic of Tubgirl for those people that may have missed it:


Spoiler Alert, click show to read:Does your mother know you have a scat fetish? Fucking weirdo. Did you really think I"d post a picture of an assplosion? Come on man, get fucking real.

I read this page this morning and knew right away it was gonna be a shitty day.

Shitty day to order from shitty wok?

Saladus said:

I read this page this morning and knew right away it was gonna be a shitty day.

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You clicked a spoiler after you were told it was Tubgirl? You made your own shitty day, friend.

I was hoping to return from work and get some "lol you must be a virgin it is obviously..."

Instead the reaction is more mortified than I was. Shit.

I talked to her about it and suggested she go to doc. And I guess I"m gonna have to go get tested for ebola

Adebisi the Onion Knight said:

Did you bring it up over coffee?

"oh by the way ... there was this substance left on my bed that seems to have originated from your body ..."

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haha that"s kind of how I played it out in my head.

Dabamf: So, things good? Not feeling sick or history of illness?
Cat Food: No. I"m good.
Dabamf: That"s great. Own a cat?
Cat Food: No. Why?
Dabamf: No reason.
*Awkward silence*
Dabamf: Listen. I think your vagina has been eating cat food when you"re not looking. I"ve seen things. Terrible things. I"ve smelled them too..oh god the smell.
*thousand-yard stare*
Cat Food: Wtf?
Dabamf: I"ll cut to the chase. My bed sheets have been ruined by an unknown substance that seems to have originated from your unholy vaginal cavity. Go see a doctor to make sure I don"t need to inject my balls with penicillin or write a will. Also, could you check my homework?

Dabamf said:

Help

I slept with this girl from KC last night, and after, when I was cleaning up, I noticed a brown liquid all over the sheets. It was a purely tan/brown color with no red at all, at had small chunks almost like runny vomit. And it kinda smelled like cat food.

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She could be taking Alli weight loss pills. If she had been eating fatty foods in excess along with these pills then she could possibly have had anal leakage. The oil that"s secreted looks sorta like what you"re describing.

It"s almost definitely some kind of poop. That should be obvious.

I was just watching the mystery poop episode of it"s Always sunny in Philly, what a coincidence! How can we be sure it"s not you who perpetrated the act!? We need to reevaluate this objectively before we even try to determine the contents of the...expulsion.

I think Tyen ought to draw up some graphs and pie charts, if we can find out where Foler went off to we need his database and personal records of both suspects, we need to find out if this a one time incident or an MO of either of the suspects. I want someone to map out locations of instances of related crime scenes, someone else needs to call 9 Lives, Meow Mix, Whiskas, Fancy Feast, etc. Does anyone have any information related to Korean medical data, specifically related to gynecology? Let"s get on this STAT guys!

Oh, and SOMEONE NEEDS TO ENHANCE THE PICTURES OF THE CRIME SCENE NOW!

Voyce said:

I think Tyen ought to draw up some graphs and pie charts, if we can find out where Foler went off to we need his database and personal records of both suspects, we need to find out if this a one time incident or an MO of either of the suspects.

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Google results for combinations of "Shit" "Pie" and "chart"

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:Thankfully I found nothing. Why would you click on a spoiler that could have a shit covered pie in it?

perfect time for someone to swoop in for the low self esteem girl.

I"m still going to go with old period blood followed by you stuck it in the wrong hole and apparently she didn"t care (which would be a win for you I guess).

Divinefactor said:

perfect time for someone to swoop in for the low self esteem girl.

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Just make sure to get some plastic bed sheets first.

Divinefactor said:

perfect time for someone to swoop in for the low self esteem girl.

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Have sex in the shower and keep your eyes level so that you cant see the river of poop flowing between your toes.

And if you take her out for dinner, make sure its cheese filled or whatever else clogs colon"s.

And candles if its stinky poops.

Can thread be changed to "The Girls Who Pooped Your Bed Thread"? It even rhymes.