Girls who broke your heart thread

Shanter_foh

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It"s not being pissy. Everyone in this thread yells at Eomer for over-analyzing everything about the girls he tries to date, yet here is another person analyzing something that means NOTHING. So what if they grew up in the same town, what relevance does it have? Why bring it up at all?

You guys need to stop worrying about dumb shit and just have fun. It"s like you guys take note-cards on these dates and wonder why you don"t get a 2nd or 3rd date. Talk to them like a normal human being and have fun, stop dwelling on their past (which is absolutely none of your business).
 

Tarrant

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LoL I"ll say it again...it"s weird. I didn"t sit here making a pros/con"s list and possible outcomes of every thing involving her, her school, my ex and the odds of them knowing each other and what would happen if they both drank red kool-aid on the 3rd Sunday of a month under a full moon while the big dipper was in the 4th quadrant.

all I said was it was weird. holy shit man.
 

Cutlery

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Shanter said:
Why does this even matter? Were they friends or something? Jesus man, are you afraid this girl you are talking to is going to go out of her way to talk to your ex and ask what went wrong? Grow up.
Well, he"s right anyway. The definitely went to school together because that"s how this area is. Every suburb here pretty much just has 1 high school, and if you lived a certain town growing up with someone else, you went to school with them.

Now, does it mean anything? Probably not. There"s no one I went to school with that I still talk to regularly. Most people I know are like that. Once you move out and get your own life, you kinda leave the school shit behind.
 

Tarrant

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TheCutlery said:
Well, he"s right anyway. The definitely went to school together because that"s how this area is. Every suburb here pretty much just has 1 high school, and if you lived a certain town growing up with someone else, you went to school with them.

Now, does it mean anything? Probably not. There"s no one I went to school with that I still talk to regularly. Most people I know are like that. Once you move out and get your own life, you kinda leave the school shit behind.
St. Louis Park to be specific, as far as I know, just one high school.
 

Dabamf_sl

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Eomer said:
"You don"t think I"m a horrible person, do you?"

...

"Depends on the day

Any particular reason you ask? And did you mean to send that 5 times?"

At this point I"m really seeing quite clearly how much of a head case she is, when it wasn"t obvious (to me anyway) at all when we dated.
Eomer I"ve noticed with girls you"re always wanting to know more, asking questions constantly, always interested in what they have to say regardless of the circumstances. You always have a response, no matter what they say. I feel like a girl could call you a piece of shit waste of oxygen and you"d try to think of some witty retort to turn it into a joke in attempt to make them laugh.

You commented yourself that she"s a "head case," and I"m assuming that conclusion was drawn in part from that text. Which means you recognized her text was weird, yet you still ate it up and gave about as big a response as you possible could. What"s wrong with "? I"ve moved on" or "don"t worry about it" or my favorite response toa weird text that is only sent to get attention: ignore it.

There is some fundamental aspect of either your personality or simply how you interact with women that is betraying you. You say you are a kinda cocky guy, but any guy who can pull off cocky and manage to dodge being overly arrogant, especially with a $$ job and interesting life, is gonna have lots of women interested in him. You always seem to have them interested until a few dates in, then lose it.

So something is betraying you. Something is partly an act and your behavior is in some way showing that fact. Judging from the text and email responses you have posted here over the months, I"m probably 90% confident that it"s your frame (your sense of reality that is projected socially). I thought earlier your frame was weak, but I think at this point your frame with women is non-existant. For example, if a girl says "you"re just trying to get into my pants," someone with a weak frame would say "oh no no I"m just trying to chat I"m not looking for anything right now blah blah." Someone with a strong frame would look at that question as the socially inept question that it is, give a confused and slightly annoyed look and say, "that"s an odd statement to make to someone you just met," or something along those lines. Get the difference? With a weak frame, you legitimize whatever the girl says and respond on her terms. With a strong frame, you bring the girl into your own reality and she responds on your terms.

Everything a girl says, you buy into. Rather than having your own view of reality firmly established and projected onto other people, you buy into whatever the girl says. If she wants to say there are purple aliens farming boogers in her nose, you ask whether they are paying their rent on time.

tl;dr: Your frame sucks and is ruining your ability to get women. Take Magic Bullets and skip immediately to the "frame" section. Then go to that attractionforums and read all the "frame control" stuff you can find in the classic writings section. Make sure to read all of Cajun"s posts, a lot of his posts essentially just boil down to frame control.

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Tarrant: stop kissing goodnight noncrazyex or whatever her name is, man up and make a move DURING the date. There is not a single woman on earth who doesn"t love a strongly sexual man (as long as he is in control of it).
 

Tarrant

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Dabamf said:
Tarrant: stop kissing goodnight noncrazyex or whatever her name is, man up and make a move DURING the date. There is not a single woman on earth who doesn"t love a strongly sexual man (as long as he is in control of it).
This girl is semi conservative, she"s only slept with two people. I mean we made out and shit during the movie, but if you"re referring to sexual stuff, that wont be happening for awhile. moves are made, but until a major one is made more towards the bedroom I don"t really consider it worth bring up here.
 

JeydaX_foh

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Bring her to Walker Art Center and she"ll fuck in a heartbeat.

At least that"s how I got laid a couple months back.

BTW How is Minneapolis/St. Paul treating you.
 

Tarrant

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I like it well enough, having a hard time meeting new people other then the few chicks I"ve met so that"s kinda bothersome but it"s a huge improvement over living up north on the Iron Range that"s for sure.
 

Cutlery

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Tarrant220 said:
I like it well enough, having a hard time meeting new people other then the few chicks I"ve met so that"s kinda bothersome but it"s a huge improvement over living up north on the Iron Range that"s for sure.
Yeah, Tarrant and I have already discussed the fact that this place is fucking balls for meeting people. Outside of work, I don"t think I"ve met anyone new in 15 years, partly because I work overnights, and partly because if you"re not into the bar scene, you"re hopelessly fucked. What are you gonna do? Hit on chicks at the grocery store? Might as well just walk around with a cucumber and some KY and take the first thing that talks to you home.
 

Brad2770

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Shanter said:
It"s not being pissy. Everyone in this thread yells at Eomer for over-analyzing everything about the girls he tries to date, yet here is another person analyzing something that means NOTHING. So what if they grew up in the same town, what relevance does it have? Why bring it up at all?

You guys need to stop worrying about dumb shit and just have fun. It"s like you guys take note-cards on these dates and wonder why you don"t get a 2nd or 3rd date. Talk to them like a normal human being and have fun, stop dwelling on their past (which is absolutely none of your business).
I think its crazy that youre over analizing someone on a board when all he originally said was that it was weird they went to the same school.

Its like you sat down and actually thought out what you had to say, or maybe you had some notecards or some shit.

Quit dwelling on what people say here and just enjoy the drama.
 

Brad2770

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Dabamf said:
There is some fundamental aspect of either your personality or simply how you interact with women that is betraying you. You say you are a kinda cocky guy, but any guy who can pull off cocky and manage to dodge being overly arrogant, especially with a $$ job and interesting life, is gonna have lots of women interested in him. You always seem to have them interested until a few dates in, then lose it.

So something is betraying you.
What I think it is-

I think he tries to move too fast, evn though he says he doesnt. I seem to make the samer mistake. Every woman I have TRULY liked, whether she was the hottest girl on the planet to every man ir a girl that is only smoking hot to me, I always seem to mess it up within a month, but mostly less.

The only girl he has dated in this thread that he didnt like enough to try a real relationship was Xerxes and she probably would have slain 300 Spartans for a chance at a relationship with him.

I dont think he realizes it, but it might be something he might want to pay more attention too. It"s what I have noticed about myself. I am so paranoid that I am going to let this "perfect" girl go, that I try too hard and too fast and i fuck it up....
 

Campari_foh

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TheCutlery said:
Yeah, Tarrant and I have already discussed the fact that this place is fucking balls for meeting people. Outside of work, I don"t think I"ve met anyone new in 15 years, partly because I work overnights, and partly because if you"re not into the bar scene, you"re hopelessly fucked. What are you gonna do? Hit on chicks at the grocery store? Might as well just walk around with a cucumber and some KY and take the first thing that talks to you home.
That sucks... ever since I moved to Manhattan I can"t believe how ridiculously easy it is to pick up women here. I"ve only been here ~2 months now and I"ve been averaging 2 dates/week or so, and that doesn"t even include women that I meet when we"re out on the weekends at shows or whatever.
 

JeydaX_foh

shitlord
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TheCutlery said:
Yeah, Tarrant and I have already discussed the fact that this place is fucking balls for meeting people. Outside of work, I don"t think I"ve met anyone new in 15 years, partly because I work overnights, and partly because if you"re not into the bar scene, you"re hopelessly fucked. What are you gonna do? Hit on chicks at the grocery store? Might as well just walk around with a cucumber and some KY and take the first thing that talks to you home.
Find sports groups if you want to meet new peeps. Flag/touch football, baseball, dumb shit like that. That"s how I"ve met people outside of the U in the past 2-3 years.
 

Tarrant

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With winter approaching that"s not an option anymore, though I did think of that and come spring I"ll be all over that shit for sure.

Any other ideas?
 

chu_foh

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Brad2770 said:
What I think it is-

I think he tries to move too fast, evn though he says he doesnt. I seem to make the samer mistake. Every woman I have TRULY liked, whether she was the hottest girl on the planet to every man ir a girl that is only smoking hot to me, I always seem to mess it up within a month, but mostly less.

The only girl he has dated in this thread that he didnt like enough to try a real relationship was Xerxes and she probably would have slain 300 Spartans for a chance at a relationship with him.

I dont think he realizes it, but it might be something he might want to pay more attention too. It"s what I have noticed about myself. I am so paranoid that I am going to let this "perfect" girl go, that I try too hard and too fast and i fuck it up....
nah Daba hit it right on. And his sense of humor just exudes desperation. Throwing out (lame) jokes meant to be witty after everything is really annoying.
 

JeydaX_foh

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Tarrant220 said:
With winter approaching that"s not an option anymore, though I did think of that and come spring I"ll be all over that shit for sure.

Any other ideas?
Broomball, hockey, fuckin... CURLING man. There"s a ton of leagues in the cities.
 

Tarrant

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Broomball could be fun, I can"t skate anymore, my ankles wont allow it....never tried curling.

Okay so there are winter leagues for things, how and where do I go about researching them and getting into them?

I"m pretty new to the being in a big city stuff, I"m pretty lost when it comes to the shit.
 

Brad2770

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besides my obvious addiction to my ex, I really havent messed with women. I have been doing my P90X, riding my bike and spending as much time with my son as I can. (Oh, and watching Dexter now... fucking friend got me hooked on that show).

Anyways, this chick hit on me while I was doing some of my market research yesterday. Talked with her for about 45 minutes and when I was leaving, she asked if she could have my number. I gave it to her.

I told her I was very busy with my son, working out and work that I didnt know if I would have time for her and she said that was ok. I asked her why and thats where the conversation starts....

She seems cool. For the 45 minutes I talked to her and the few textsd we exchanged last night.