Girls who broke your heart thread

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So Darus is a 30-something asian chick?

Anyway, Ham and Whyme pretty much gave you all the cake related advice that is required. What are you going to do now? Plus, how long are you going to stay there anyway?
 

Eomer

Trakanon Raider
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Vim said:
threesomes
Welp, in my case with Anne last year, she started bringing it up early on in the relationship when she thought I was maybe still dating Xerxes and/or not all that interested, and she was insecure about us. So in my personal experience it seems that some girls, of course not all, bring it up if only to impress the guy or make him like her more. Sure they might also have a bit of curiosity about it but if they were honest with themselves and their boyfriend, they"d want a twosome. With another girl. They bring up the threesome idea because they think the guy will like them more for it primarily, whether they realize it or not.

As to whether or not to have a threesome, that"s been discussed here in the past. The general consensus I believe was that if it"s a long term relationship you don"t want to fuck up, likely not worth it but potentially workable if both people have the right personality AND talk the details out beforehand. If not a long term relationship or one you want to continue, go hard son.
 

The Ancient_sl

shitlord
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Inconsiderable said:
Hm. I"d like to thank you guys for the the feedback on the hand full of postings I made. The guy who suggested "go caveman" and the "just tell her" were both right, btw.

We met, got some food, did some talking about the fight on sunday (mostly to delay what I was going to say after that; and actually I got burned hard because I messed up on sunday, not her). So after apologizing I tell her what I feel and that "just friends" is no more an option for me.
She tells me that she thought about it alot but me leaving in 2 months makes it pointless. Yea, forgot to mention that in previous posts. Going back to Germany for an internship and two semesters soon, but plan on coming back here.

So anyway, I change topic because there is no point in discussing something like that or reasoning with her about feelings. We met the others, watched a great show, said goodbye to the others and were walking towards the next underground station when she brought the topic up again. She basicly informed me that she is still thinking about what I said earlier. So I told her that it was no yes/no questions, just information so she can prepare herself.

When we were about to part, I said goodbye and turned away. The curt way I did it was a gamble tbh, but it payed off. Stayed at her place.

Now that I have the girl the difficult part begins :/
Yeah, you did leave out your leaving in 2 months, didn"t you. This girls eyes are more open than yours are, I see a broken heart in your future.
 

McCheese

SW: Sean, CW: Crone, GW: Wizardhawk
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Inconsiderable said:
So Darus is a 30-something asian chick?

Anyway, Ham and Whyme pretty much gave you all the cake related advice that is required. What are you going to do now? Plus, how long are you going to stay there anyway?
I"m curious, too. I"m in a very similar situation myself actually, as I"m living abroad temporarily and in a fairly serious, comfortable relationship with a local.

Interested to hear your plans, if any.
 

chu_foh

shitlord
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aychamo_aycono said:
Here"s something thats"s been bothering me lately. My fiance"s parents are financially irresponsible. Not in the way that they ever ask for money or anything, but they don"t save anything. Her father is a contractor/carpenter/etc. Her mom works in sales. They spend every penny they earn. They have no savings or healthcare.

My fiance"s mom"s mom is very comfortable and will probably leave them some money, but I worry about if one day taking care of them falls on our shoulders. Will we have to financially support them for the rest of their life? Does anyone else have a similar situation that they are concerned with?

With the changes in health care, I know I"m going to take a big American Inventor dick up my ass in terms of pay.
Don"t think you have to worry about that bro. Your fiancee will die soon so you"ll be off the hook!
 
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The Ancient said:
Yeah, you did leave out your leaving in 2 months, didn"t you. This girls eyes are more open than yours are, I see a broken heart in your future.
Prolly. I am good with logic and reasoning when I need it, but hate thinking longterm. What do the problems I will have in two months matter now? Usually things work out for me without planning ahead. Always did.

In this case it might be a bigger problem... we spend the last months nonstop together, every day the last weeks. I mean she is working on some event in another country right now for few days, she left today and I already hit rock bottom. Its like withdrawal symptons, I can barely focus on typing.
It is kinda weird. I am 26 and havent experienced something like this yet. When I am with her, there are no butterflies, no special emotions or uncontrollable desire. Everything just feels normal and I am happy. But once I am not with her my emotions are running amok. Really amok. If someone experienced something like this or just can shed some light on it .. I am grateful for any kind of input that would explain it.

But I dont think the update of our relationship makes any difference. I"d be in the same state without it. Same goes for me leaving (in some months; for some months). It just improved the quality of the next two months.

Plus, if everything goes perfect, I will be away for 2x 4 months and visit inbetween. Thats not a big problem. Chances that I somehow fuck it up on the other hand.....

Ham n Cheese said:
And yes it sucks the 19 year old is the most attractive, most sex crazed. It"s a bad decision in almost every way I look at it outside of my penis" perspective. Damn you penis.
Might be me, but I still dont see a problem with going for the 19 year old.

She is young, she is hot, she is willing. Thats pretty much the three most important traits. And if you think positive you can always tell yourself that she is "not boring" instead of crazy.
 

Dabamf_sl

shitlord
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Inconsiderable said:
You"re going to Germany you said? I can"t remember and am too lazy to go look. From my perspective, unless you are gonna be working 80 hours a week, you are probably gonna wanna see new things, meet locals, etc and have a good time, generally experience as much of the country as possible. If you go in fresh off a breakup that will put you in a funk, that"s gonna interfere with your experiences there.

Plus it"s not healthy to be so dependent on another person. I"d suggest taking steps to remove that dependence even if you weren"t going abroad.
 

Cutlery

Kill All the White People
<Gold Donor>
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Inconsiderable said:
Plus, if everything goes perfect, I will be away for 2x 4 months and visit inbetween. Thats not a big problem. Chances that I somehow fuck it up on the other hand.....
Dude, she ain"t gonna sit around for 4 months at a time with you in another country. Not at 19, sorry man. Not gonna happen. If she has anything at all going on in the looks and personality department and has a reasonable social life, you are gonna be yesterday"s news in under 2 weeks man.

This is a reality you have to face. Is it certain to happen? No, nothing"s certain to happen. But there"s a good 5% chance things are going to work out the way you think they will, and a 95% chance things are going to work out the way I think they will. If I were you, I"d plan for the 95%.

I speak from experience that long distance relationships just don"t fucking work for longer than a vacation. You"re setting yourself up for gigantic disappointment when you can"t even be there to watch the relationship die. Everything"s going great in your world, the phone calls, the emails, the webcam, whatever...it"s all enough for you. It"s all you need to keep your spirits up and keep your hopes alive that this is going to work out. Unfortunately, it ain"t enough for her, and it never will be.
 
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Eh.. she isnt 19 (thats one of Ham"s three choices), mine is 4 years older, somewhat mature and I hate long distance relationships. Tried it twice, both times I sucked at it. I am not yet sure how I want to handle this, but I dislike the idea of not giving it a try somehow. As I said, I didnt plan ahead.
Maybe try keeping it alive, maybe put it on hold, maybe some kind of "if nobody better comes around" arrangement, but just breaking up is not an option.
Plus I was never a person to give up on anything. No retreat, no surrender. That is Spartan law.

And yes, going (back) to Germany to my home university. There is not much to experience there: It is in the ugliest and boring german town I know. I plan on leaving that place behind asap.

Luckily all things seem to work out pretty well. Did apply for an internship and got it; it didnt even start yet and they are already trying to recruit me longterm, because of my previous work experience... and I could work from home, means I could pick any country/city to live in. This might solve all my problems and would allow many flights to London.
 

Sutekh

Blackwing Lair Raider
7,489
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Inconsiderable said:
Eh.. she isnt 19 (thats one of Ham"s three choices), mine is 4 years older, somewhat mature and I hate long distance relationships. Tried it twice, both times I sucked at it. I am not yet sure how I want to handle this, but I dislike the idea of not giving it a try somehow. As I said, I didnt plan ahead.
Maybe try keeping it alive, maybe put it on hold, maybe some kind of "if nobody better comes around" arrangement, but just breaking up is not an option.
Plus I was never a person to give up on anything. No retreat, no surrender. That is Spartan law.

And yes, going (back) to Germany to my home university. There is not much to experience there: It is in the ugliest and boring german town I know. I plan on leaving that place behind asap.

Luckily all things seem to work out pretty well. Did apply for an internship and got it; it didnt even start yet and they are already trying to recruit me longterm, because of my previous work experience... and I could work from home, means I could pick any country/city to live in. This might solve all my problems and would allow many flights to London.
I also speak from experience when I say long distance relations do in-fact work. My girlfriend and I were apart for just about a year, sure it was difficult and you"ll always have the questions in your head of what"s actually happening, but if you two want to do it, it"s highly capable, but now don"t get me wrong, I"m in no way advocating something like this! Because well it"snot funat all. You have to have some real love for this person and vice versa in order for something like this to work out.

If the relationship is first starting out or just getting going I don"t think it"s fair to your or her to try and go through with something like that. It"s not like she"s going to get married in the time you"re gone, and if you really cared about each other the option would still be there to get back together when you got back. Sounds shitty and I"m not telling you to do this. But it"s just the perspective from someone that actually went through it! Also after that year apart my girlfriend and I have been together for 6 years.
 

Aulirophile_foh

shitlord
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I"ve had a successful long distance relationship, been living together for 5 years now, had to live apart for a year and a half.

Ido notrecommend it. Even if you pull it off, that time sucks. If I wasn"t convinced this girl was "the one" I wouldn"t have put up with it.
 

OhSeven

Mediocre Negro
<Prior Amod>
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Ham n Cheese said:
Yes - I have a few more but they"re all tease shots like this. Apparently I"m not getting nudes until I agree to bang
...and this is a tough choice for you?
 
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Ham n Cheese said:
I touched base with her last night and told her next week was my final week of classes and we"d hang out sometime shortly thereafter. She"s excited but of course immediately wants to get me drunk and high heh

The girl with the bf is still giving me the vibe she"s into me, but I don"t think it"s going anywhere, going to fade out on that I guess.
I"m going to summarize your post:

Fuck bitches, make money.