Girls who broke your heart thread

Malkav

Malkav

French Madman
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Eomer said:
What the fuck does the bolded part even mean? "Can"t find a way?" You ask her out on a date, make a move while you"re both drunk, you flirt outrageously obviously, take your pick. Sack up.
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Well, he said he hasn"t seen her often those past few months because she was working hard on her studies. It sounded like the few time he had, he was maybe overthinking thing and was too afraid to try.

From what I understood, they may already have had sleepovers with nothing happening, which would put him even more deeper in the friend zone than expected.
 
Hatorade

Hatorade

A nice asshole.
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FoghornDeadhorn said:
Christ, this conversation is boring. Evaluate risk:reward and act, or don"t.
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Was about to say the same. I would just ask her out and if she says no then all problems solved.
 
Pigbenis

Pigbenis

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I"ve been on both sides of this kind of drama. I"ve got a large group of tight friends, both female and male. Whatever you do just pass it with your friend. A true bro imo will wish you the best, realize he"s out of the game, and ask if she has some friends he can hook up with. But if he really feels like he has a emotional attachment to her prepare for some shit. If you go for her despite what he says your friendship is probably fucked, things will be extremely awkward between you three, and probably create an uncomfortable atmosphere with your whole group of friends. These kinds of things don"t go away easily either.

You really just have to look at the value of your friendship with the dude and how you think he would react. Competition is a bitch and no one likes to loose, especially if it"s gonna be rubbed in his face all the time. If it"s a real close friend sometimes it"s just not even worth it.
 
Malkav

Malkav

French Madman
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PigBenis said:
I"ve been on both sides of this kind of drama. I"ve got a large group of tight friends, both female and male. Whatever you do just pass it with your friend. A true bro imo will wish you the best, realize he"s out of the game, and ask if she has some friends he can hook up with. But if he really feels like he has a emotional attachment to her prepare for some shit. If you go for her despite what he says your friendship is probably fucked, things will be extremely awkward between you three, and probably create an uncomfortable atmosphere with your whole group of friends. These kinds of things don"t go away easily either.

You really just have to look at the value of your friendship with the dude and how you think he would react. Competition is a bitch and no one likes to loose, especially if it"s gonna be rubbed in his face all the time. If it"s a real close friend sometimes it"s just not even worth it.
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Well, given our past circumstances, I think he and I can really see how it could go.

In fact, one of the couple we"re hanging out with created a similar problem for us. One year and a half ago, I used to date the girl, and the guy was a pretty close friend of my best friend and me.
My story with the girl ended in blood and tears, and then her and our friend started dating around a week later when I was still not over it .I had enormous resentment against the guy, so much that I stopped hanging out with them.
My best friend was always on the fence between the two, it was awkward for everyone, and pretty hard all in all.
In the end, it did take a few months, but I got over it, and we"re now all fine and dandy again.

So, I guess we can relate to what could happen if it get shitty.

Anyway, I"ll try to avoid the "getting shitty" part. We"re all going out tomorrow night, she should be there too and I"ll try to motivate him to make a move.
If he doesn"t do it, I"ll make it clear to him that the next time, I won"t be pulling punches and that it will be hers to decide.

Well, I guess we went around the subject and there is not much else to say, so you can resume your daily life on the TGWBYH thread.

I"ll keep you updated on how it goes when something happens though.
 
G

Gryeyes_foh

shitlord
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Eomer said:
So who"s the low character asshole in your opinion? The guy who apparently can"t even get with the girl to save his life and who will make a big deal of his friend legitimately beating him to the punch, or the guy who gives his friend an opportunity to make a move before he does himself?
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Lets not overly complicate something that is very simple, either you understand it or not. Will your actions towards a vagina cause your friend emotional pain. If yes and you do so anyway you are a piece of shit.

Quibbling over the "rules" as if that is pertinent demonstrates you simply do not understand what being a friend is. Then again me and my friends are uncharacteristically close and we all get laid on a regular basis and do not view a vagina as a precious commodity.

It has nothing to do with tree house rules or a game. Its why would you cause someone pain over someone you don"t even know.

And I"m pretty sure he"d rather see me dating her than some random asshole she would find god knows where.
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Then why the fuck are you on the internet asking for advice instead of addressing your friend directly?

Yeah, if for an instant you apply this equation to the relationships in your life it is certain you are a piece of shit.
 
Grumpus

Grumpus

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I"ll try to make this as short as possible.

Chick I dated for a short time that I stayed friends with, and talk to on a regular basis, has invited me out twice now. She has a boyfriend. Once was a movie with her and her sister, no boyfriend. She just invited me out for dinner after work tommorow. I said who with. Her response was she gets off at 7:30 and her boyfriend doesn"t get off work till 11:00 so shes free all evening.

So wtf is she thinking. I would be pissed if my gf did this.
 
Cutlery

Cutlery

Kill All the White People
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Grumpus said:
I"ll try to make this as short as possible.

Chick I dated for a short time that I stayed friends with, and talk to on a regular basis, has invited me out twice now. She has a boyfriend. Once was a movie with her and her sister, no boyfriend. She just invited me out for dinner after work tommorow. I said who with. Her response was she gets off at 7:30 and her boyfriend doesn"t get off work till 11:00 so shes free all evening.

So wtf is she thinking. I would be pissed if my gf did this.
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She"s either got you friend zoned, or the dude she"s with ain"t turning her crank and wants something new before she dumps him.

Either way, we went over this a few pages ago. Try to keep up.
 
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Inconsiderable_foh

shitlord
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0
Sharmai said:
Then you haven"t had wife material yet. Yea your average fling, bitch, or ho is lower then your bro your future wife material isn"t. As you get older and switch from dating to finding a wife your bro takes a backseat.
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Double wrong.

- First mistake is confusing your wife or soon-to-be-wife with the girl you want to make a move on. It sounds more like "Fuck bros, I dont want to be alone anymore and hookers are too expensive".
Of course you dont tell your actual wife to fuck off if one of your friends doesnt like her. We are not talking about Family vs Friends. Were talking about causing pain to friends because you want pussy that MIGHT be wife material or not. You dont put MAYBEs over friends. That doesnt make you older, just an asshole.
(And yes, I did and do.)

- Second mistake is, that you dont value your friends enough. Your real friends, not the random Joes you work with or hang out with every other week. They are there if you need them, they count as family, they watch out for you and have your back. They are like the foundation of your life if you live in a healthy social environment.
 
ToeMissile

ToeMissile

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Inconsiderable said:
Double wrong.

- First mistake is confusing your wife or soon-to-be-wife with the girl you want to make a move on. It sounds more like "Fuck bros, I dont want to be alone anymore and hookers are too expensive".
Of course you dont tell your actual wife to fuck off if one of your friends doesnt like her. We are not talking about Family vs Friends. Were talking about causing pain to friends because you want pussy that MIGHT be wife material or not. You dont put MAYBEs over friends. That doesnt make you older, just an asshole.
(And yes, I did and do.)

- Second mistake is, that you dont value your friends enough. Your real friends, not the random Joes you work with or hang out with every other week. They are there if you need them, they count as family, they watch out for you and have your back. They are like the foundation of your life if you live in a healthy social environment.
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Priorities do change, that doesn"t mean you have to be an asshole about it. Also, a true friend is going to be understanding if you"ve met someone with serious potential. You"re taking a pretty extreme view of what he posted. It"s really just a balance that is going to be different between different people.
 
Soygen

Soygen

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How old are you, Inconsiderable? I"m not trying to pull a "gotcha!" or anything. I"m honestly curious.
 
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Inconsiderable_foh

shitlord
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I"m 28. And I dont think it is an extreme view, but simply something you just dont do. Its one of those basic rules in life and works both ways. Most "examples" why "the rule doesnt apply here" usually involves the friend fucking up in a way (in TC"s case: making a move on his wife).

Seriously, think about it. You have a friend you know for like 20 years now. Then you meet a woman and some kind of drama does arise. Even if you know her some weeks, how can you compare the chance that it might be "the one" with your friendship?
If you are willing to hurt him and risk the friendship for the chance you might have a long relationship with her, you are a bad friend.
 
Cutlery

Cutlery

Kill All the White People
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I tried to explain this many months ago, and no one understood what I was saying then, but uhh, yeah, your priorities definitely do change when you"re married with kids. You think you"re pretty happy living the single life, going out with your buddies, whatever, and then your soulmate comes along, the person you REALLY make a connection with, and then kids come afterward and you find out how shallow life was before them. It"s not something you can explain to people who have never gotten to that point, but it"s completely true.

Your friends will take a backseat to your kids, and they will take a backseat to your wife. And them expecting it any other way is your friends being assholes. The one friend I"ve got left in the state I mentioned a few pages ago? We have a fucking great time...when we"re both off of work, the kids are in school (or we can get them together), and when the wives are otherwise engaged. Other than that, there"s a mutual understanding that our friendship comes 3rd in both of our lives.

"Hey Johnny, wanna go grab some lunch, shoot the shit for a few hours?"
"I can"t man, it"s the wife"s only day off of work this week."
"Cool, gimme a jingle next week sometime."

That"s the way it is. That"s the way it should be. Your friends getting pissed off at you because you want to spend time with your family is absurd.
 
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Praxis_foh

shitlord
0
0
Inconsiderable said:
I"m 28. And I dont think it is an extreme view, but simply something you just dont do. Its one of those basic rules in life and works both ways. Most "examples" why "the rule doesnt apply here" usually involves the friend fucking up in a way (in TC"s case: making a move on his wife).

Seriously, think about it. You have a friend you know for like 20 years now. Then you meet a woman and some kind of drama does arise. Even if you know her some weeks, how can you compare the chance that it might be "the one" with your friendship?
If you are willing to hurt him and risk the friendship for the chance you might have a long relationship with her, you are a bad friend.
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I think the crux of the matter is, from where a lot of us appear to see the issue the "friend" isn"t being a friend. He"s out of play. He"s done and he hasn"t made a move or done anything in months. Really? "Umm. I haven"t seen her in months cause she"s been busy." Right. He has the girls phone number. He"s just not nutted up and done it. Trust me, I"ve done the same I know. He has wasted the opportunity and now he"s going to screw Malkav over by trying to reach from "beyond the grave" so to speak to keep hanging on when he should just let go and let his buddy Malkav have a run at it.

Thats what I think a lot of us feel. Its not that there is some bro code violation of Malkav horning in on this guys action. I feel that this guy is not facing the music and fucking his buddies over by not going, "You know guys. I just ain"t got it. Go for it and show me the tittie pictures afterwards."
 
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Praxis_foh

shitlord
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0
Dr. Funkenstein said:
I"ve helped two friends get girls I was interested in and they were too chicken shit to make a move on themselves. Friends help friends get pussy.
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So, in Malkav"s case, which friend needs to help the other get laid?
 
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