Girls who broke your heart thread
- Thread starter Aychamo BanBan
- Start date
Ok so I have a bit of a dilemma. I"ve been dating this chick for 3 1/2 months now and she is still just as fun to be around now as she was the first day I met her. The thing is though, I"ll be deploying around our 6-7 month mark and I have no idea what to do. I generally don"t listen to advice from the guys I work with because they are fucking retards, so hopefully some of you can give me some advice. I had that talk with my girlfriend last week and the options I could think of are A. We stick together for the deployment, B. We break up for good, C. We break up for the deployment and I come home and we could give it another shot...
If I were to stick together with her I run into the fact that the Army has a 90% divorce rate. I know a lot of people that get divorces while deployed because their spouse needs some male attention and cheats on him. The same thing applies to girlfriends too obviously.Though it"s also kind of selfish of me to ask her to stay with me when she could easily find someone that might be better for her during that 9-12 months of me being gone.
I asked her to give me a no shit answer after my month long training in March because it"ll give us both a taste of what the deployment will be like for both of us.
Anyone have an experience with this ?
If I were to stick together with her I run into the fact that the Army has a 90% divorce rate. I know a lot of people that get divorces while deployed because their spouse needs some male attention and cheats on him. The same thing applies to girlfriends too obviously.Though it"s also kind of selfish of me to ask her to stay with me when she could easily find someone that might be better for her during that 9-12 months of me being gone.
I asked her to give me a no shit answer after my month long training in March because it"ll give us both a taste of what the deployment will be like for both of us.
Anyone have an experience with this ?
Whores don"t become non-whores overnight. For her sake, just break up with her. If you"ve grown up you will know it, and you can either give it another shot when you get back or you will be looking for a real relationship with someone else. Banking on the idea that both of you are ready for this is very likely to get someone hurt.
Second point: don"t distinguish between "break up for now" or "break up for good." You are severing the commitment. What happens after that, happens.
PS: You are even asking this question. Break up with her.
Second point: don"t distinguish between "break up for now" or "break up for good." You are severing the commitment. What happens after that, happens.
PS: You are even asking this question. Break up with her.
Is this your main reasoning for your answer? In case it is, I remember him talking about this girl in fairly high regard. If you"re being general or hyperbolic though, then...whatever.
I have some experience with this, and I sent you a PM.Saidin said:
But basically, don"t overthink it. Don"t dump her on what "might" happen. Shit, we"d all end up doing nothing cause it could always go wrong.
Simply enough, if you want to date the girl and like her enough that when you come home you"d still like to date her. Try.
If she actually wants to try and stick with you through the deployment as well, go for it.
If it all goes tits up while you"re overseas, well. As long as you weren"t stupid and gave her the keys to your house/car/bank account, no big loss. You"re not really going to be out on the town looking to pick up a new girlfriend while you"re deployed anyway.
So, don"t overthink it. If it works out and you all stick together, great. If it doesn"t and she leaves you for someone else, don"t really sweat that either, cause all that means is you come home and have to find another girlfriend. If you all split up you"d have to do that anyway, and it keeps you from wondering "what if". Besides, if she fucks some other guy while you"re gone, he just picked up a cheating whore and you"ve lost nothing.
Also, don"t get married until after you"re out of the army whatever route you choose. 90% divorce rate should have told you that already, but it never hurts to repeat it.
The 90% figure is an exaggeration. It is higher in the military than the civilian world, and understably so when you are literally gone for over half your time in the military (And not just deployments, but training exercises and schools that take you away from the house as well).Schezanna said:
But... things aren"t quite as dire as they sound. The numbers are a bit inflated by people who marry (and divorce) frequently and often. And also by, I hate to say it, dumb privates who marry the first piece of pussy to give them a time of day. Only to get home and find out she"s found some other private to spend money on her.
That being said though, the military is hell on a marriage and it takes a special sort of woman to be able to survive it. You have to be smart about it when you are dating and looking to get married in the military. Don"t rush in, no matter how much you feel you "love" her and all. This shit is a marathon, not a sprint and you have to treat it as such.
I disagree somewhat. If she cheats while he"s overseas then I would argue he does in fact lose something. Unless he"s a particularly rare individual mentally I would argue that being cheated on will leave its mark on your psyche to some degree. It could cause trust issues down the road in a future relationship with someone else, or create jealousy issues.Praxis said:
That isn"t to say this would happen if he was cheated on, or even that he"ll be cheated on. Just saying that it isn"t so cut and dry that if she were to cheat it would be no big deal or big loss.
Right it works both ways. Which is why in the end, unless you both are really in love, it"s probably better to break things off.FoghornDeadhorn said:
Big Phoenix
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Reminds me of the time retard 01 in my detachment banged amarriedwoman that was in our detachment. What an epic shit storm that would of been if it had come to light. God damn women in the military are filthy whores.FoghornDeadhorn said:
ps Siddar bro, break it off. Tell her if shes still around and unattached in the year or so after you get back and want to get back together thats a ok, but dont go leave the country with both of you still having feelings for each other.