I"ve dated two girls I actually liked, still dating one actually, and I am happy with where I am at. In my interaction with them, if I trend toward jerk, I get more of what I want (attention). I do "get it," I see that you"re saying it is about confidence and being happy with yourself. I am confident, sublimely so. It is one thing about myself that I am really proud of. I have no problem asserting myself, asking women out, or taking things to the next level, or breaking up. I enjoy where I am at in my life as much as I can.
I am simply making the statement that I have tried to objectively test my natural responses to women, and it yields friendzones and getting cheated on. Even confident, in my natural responses, yields this. Trending toward jerk yields more attention and closeness. Which is what I want (lol faggot wants cuddling and kisses).