Girls who broke your heart thread

LOL
Got some shit to share with you guys.. generally I would keep this to myself but it is too funny not to share... life is so fucking ironic.

So that raw spot I was talking about from trying to fuck the desert pussy is not actually a raw spot... it is a fucking tear in my fraenulum. Apparently when I went to stick it in and pushed so hard I ripped the fraenulum, which is the skin on the underside of my penis. I knew it burned like a mother fucker every time I pissed but I just assumed that it was cause of urine getting on the raw spot but nope. How I found out that"s what it was is I went took a nap earlier and apparently had a really good dream and I was wrenched away by a acute burning slicing pain on my dick. I pulled down my underwear and there was blood on the front. I called my dr, who is female and my cousin so imagine my joy in having this conversation with her, and told her what was going on. She had me come to her house where she proceeded to do a check on me. The raw spot had a 1/4" tear in the center of it... she then proceeds to tell me I need 3 stitches in my dick and that I need to stop having sex for about 6 weeks and that any sex before it is healed could rip me further and require more stitches to fix... I asked her if we could try not doing stitches for a week and just see if it started healing on its own. She said, and I quote, "It"s your penis, my dear. I will give you a week but if the wound isn"t closed it could set up an infection and you could lose the whole thing."

So now I sit here with a tore dick because I wanted to fuck a bitch so bad I wouldn"t take the time to run to the store and get some lube... so if you take nothing else away from my experience at least take this... always have some KY on hand... dick tears are so not worth a piece of pussy.

*sighs*

Camerous Valde Unus said:

LOL
Got some shit to share with you guys.. generally I would keep this to myself but it is too funny not to share... life is so fucking ironic.

So that raw spot I was talking about from trying to fuck the desert pussy is not actually a raw spot... it is a fucking tear in my fraenulum. Apparently when I went to stick it in and pushed so hard I ripped the fraenulum, which is the skin on the underside of my penis. I knew it burned like a mother fucker every time I pissed but I just assumed that it was cause of urine getting on the raw spot but nope. How I found out that"s what it was is I went took a nap earlier and apparently had a really good dream and I was wrenched away by a acute burning slicing pain on my dick. I pulled down my underwear and there was blood on the front. I called my dr, who is female and my cousin so imagine my joy in having this conversation with her, and told her what was going on. She had me come to her house where she proceeded to do a check on me. The raw spot had a 1/4" tear in the center of it... she then proceeds to tell me I need 3 stitches in my dick and that I need to stop having sex for about 6 weeks and that any sex before it is healed could rip me further and require more stitches to fix... I asked her if we could try not doing stitches for a week and just see if it started healing on its own. She said, and I quote, "It"s your penis, my dear. I will give you a week but if the wound isn"t closed it could set up an infection and you could lose the whole thing."

So now I sit here with a tore dick because I wanted to fuck a bitch so bad I wouldn"t take the time to run to the store and get some lube... so if you take nothing else away from my experience at least take this... always have some KY on hand... dick tears are so not worth a piece of pussy.

*sighs*

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.

Wrathcaster said:

Normally, if we"re still talking I just mention casually something like, "we should hang out" and the chick"s usually down, but I don"t really have a follow up and fall out of contact.

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Seems like you"ve solved your own problem there. If you"re coming up with the "we should hang out sometime" idea then you really should come up with an actual date. "Why don"t we meet up at [place]. Is next Saturday night (or whatever) good for you?" Then she has to respond with either yes or no. If she gives you some wishy-washy bullshit you have two options: if she can"t make it that day she needs to come up with a better day, if she can"t you might as well move on. If she"s worth it for whatever reason then give her another chance. If she still won"t agree to meet then move on.

The thing with online dating (as I"m assuming is well-known) compared to knowing people in person there"s very very little effort involved. So just not responding to you means there"s not much time or effort lost on their part.

I know not a lot people listen to me, or whatever, but Awlsbite is correct. I have beenextremelysuccessful at landing first dates when contact was initiated from a dating website by just following a simple template:

"That"s great! Yeah I [go on about topic for a sentence]." Then, assertive, "This Friday I"d like to [go to event get food whatever] with you, what time works for you?"

Don"t phrase it like a hang out. Phrase it like you want to ease her panties off through the appropriate use of venues.

If someone isn"t treating you fairly(refuses to participate in a conversation, is always wishy washy about going out, etc) then just tell them and force a confrontation, they either realize they"re being bitches or you can end it right there and stop wasting your own time.

Just my personal experience with online dating, but most of them stop acting like that when you make it perfectly clear you"re not going to tolerate it, and most of them *know* they"re acting like idiots so don"t feel bad about being a little rude in the way you phrase it either, they know they"re in the wrong.

And I agree with the above two, do something like pick a few local places you"re comfortable with and use them as a template, it always goes better if you mention specific times, and specific places. If you just ask someone to hang out and they don"t respond, they"re putting about as much effort into responding as you put into asking them out.

We all know it. We"re not on a dating website to make lifelong friendships, chuckle, or deal with middleschool bullshit.

Alpha male it into a date. She doesn"t want it? Well, I think this picture says a lot.

Camerous Valde Unus said:

LOL
Got some shit to share with you guys.. generally I would keep this to myself but it is too funny not to share... life is so fucking ironic.

So that raw spot I was talking about from trying to fuck the desert pussy is not actually a raw spot... it is a fucking tear in my fraenulum. Apparently when I went to stick it in and pushed so hard I ripped the fraenulum, which is the skin on the underside of my penis. I knew it burned like a mother fucker every time I pissed but I just assumed that it was cause of urine getting on the raw spot but nope. How I found out that"s what it was is I went took a nap earlier and apparently had a really good dream and I was wrenched away by a acute burning slicing pain on my dick. I pulled down my underwear and there was blood on the front. I called my dr, who is female and my cousin so imagine my joy in having this conversation with her, and told her what was going on. She had me come to her house where she proceeded to do a check on me. The raw spot had a 1/4" tear in the center of it... she then proceeds to tell me I need 3 stitches in my dick and that I need to stop having sex for about 6 weeks and that any sex before it is healed could rip me further and require more stitches to fix... I asked her if we could try not doing stitches for a week and just see if it started healing on its own. She said, and I quote, "It"s your penis, my dear. I will give you a week but if the wound isn"t closed it could set up an infection and you could lose the whole thing."

So now I sit here with a tore dick because I wanted to fuck a bitch so bad I wouldn"t take the time to run to the store and get some lube... so if you take nothing else away from my experience at least take this... always have some KY on hand... dick tears are so not worth a piece of pussy.

*sighs*

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There"s a thing called foreplay dude. It makes girls wet, when girls get wet you don"t really need lube.

So I went back through and asked every chick out that I"d talked to in the last month but stopped talking to for whatever reason. 4 or 5 sent messages back. Every one that responded agreed to meet up.

That was a hell of a lot easier than I thought. Only problem is they and I have finals for the next 2 weeks so no time to hang. Hopefully this doesn"t fuck with meeting in person.

I didn"t really ask pothead hippie chick since I already had once and the tone of the conversation basically went to "we can hang out if you have weed." I don"t have any, don"t have any connections anymore (I haven"t smoked in months, it"s expensive here and I can"t get shit done when I have it). She said she"d hit me up if she got some, but I"m not really counting on meeting up with her if those are the conditions.

I guess my problem was that I felt weird asking someone out after just a few messages, I feel like it comes off as desperate and pathetic. But I never really tried to progress past the idle bullshit smalltalk. I suppose taking it slow and being aloof just doesn"t work as well for me with online dating.

I think assertiveness is/was the problem. "Let"s hang out" tells the girl you have nothing interesting to do and want to put the burden on her. But if you have a plan, then she can decide if it sounds fun or not.

In my case, messages never led to a date. Ever. I always used the chat system or got them on skype/msn for like an hour the first time we talked. That way I stuck in their mind, so the next time we talked they"d remember me well. You also gotta make sure you stick out, especially if she"s hot. I used to say some crazy shit to get a girl"s attention. It"s all numbers on the internet.

Finals time sucks, make a date for after and it can double up as a celebrate being done for the semester kind of thing. Taking it slow doesn"t really work for sites centered around online dating. The point is to go on a date not to chat for months on end. It can be a little weird at first asking people out after just a couple messages but once you tell yourself that"s the whole damn point of the whole thing it becomes easier.

Good luck man, hopefully at least one of them turns out to be worth it.

Sutekh said:

There"s a thing called foreplay dude. It makes girls wet, when girls get wet you don"t really need lube.

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damn again you deliver more great advice Sutekh! You are a proverbial sage, my friend! Keep up the good work!

Oh wait....

Camerous Valde Unus said:

I try to get her wet again but to no avail... I spend 30 minutes doing every thing I know of to get her wet again...

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Ah damn! Nope you"re still a dumb fuck. Good try though! Better luck next time!

Dabamf said:

Eomer doesn"t share hardly anything probably because the moment someone reads "hi" they start brainstorming how they can insult him.

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Haha, no, it"s mostly because I have put zero effort in to women in the past 6+ months. Honestly, nothing. No dates, nothing really.

I mean yeah, I don"t feel any large need or desire to post much of substance here also because of the trolling and insults that fly around. But I don"t think that"s really changed since the thread was started. As has been said, I over think shit as it is, so why compound that by posting about it here?

And I"ve also been trying to spend less time on FOH myself. But here you go:

There"s a waitress at the bar my bud manages that I"m pretty sure is wondering what the fuck she has to do to get my attention, but other than some texts here and there (two sequences of which were her asking if I could get MDMA since I was at the bar high as a kite back on Canada Day, and no I couldn"t or didn"t want to on both occasions) I haven"t asked her out, or at least not directly.

I inquired what she was up to one night with the view of asking her to an Oilers game, but she was already going and meeting up between periods at the shithole that is Rexall is not possible, so it kind of fell by the wayside. Gonna get around to it sooner or later. Or maybe not. I haven"t really given her any obvious signs that I"d be interested in her. She hadn"t either, but a couple times over the past couple weeks she"s been more obvious about it. For example I was going to a concert nearby one night with some friends, so we met up there before and went back after. She was there quite drunk as it was her birthday; it was a weeknight. I wasn"t drinking much because I had to work the next day. She spent most of the time at the table upstairs (quieter section, no dancefloor) with my friends and I, not partying downstairs with the other people she knew there on the dancefloor (they were mostly other people who work at the bar, not her "real" friends). She mentioned that I should come by for lunch the next day as she was working that day, and it was officially her birthday then. I said I probably couldn"t because of work and left later on. When I dropped by the next day she was really happy, although I mostly ended up talking with my bud. When I left she went out of her way to thank me for stopping by. So yeah I should probably get on that. I think she turned 23, maybe 24, so she"s on the young side for me but seems like a nice girl with a good background etc.

Other than that, I saw the Jen girl I dated last December-February a few weeks back at a bar, she was out for her going away party. She did indeed go through with her plan of moving to Australia indefinitely. She looked good, we chatted for a couple minutes, and that was about it.

To add to the amusement Chuck was serving my table. Wee.

Xerxes left my place last time we hung out pretty pissed because I put the moves on her and she was all offended that I was trying to get in her pants when we"re just friends and I"m not interested in dating her, but she"s texted once or twice since. Classy bitches .

The friend of mine with the 20 year old hot step-daughter still jokes I should hook up with her, and now her actual mom seems to be getting in on it ("Are you at the game? No you"re at Bourbon Street? Keely is working next door and done soon, why don"t you pick her up and meet us downtown for drinks?" No thanks, I"m not double dating with two friends and their daughter/step-daughter, that"s just creepy). I have zero interest in dating a 20 year old and it"s likely not kosher to just sleep with her. Besides which, when I ran in to her a couple weeks before at the same bar her response to my saying hi was "oh hey! *furrows brow* You"re too old to be here." But that aside I actually do think she"s interested for a number of reasons, mostly because one of her friends told me so on a ski trip last year (but that friend is super crazy so not to be trusted much) and also because she has a tendency to not make eye contact and just overall act like a young girl who doesn"t know what to do when she"s interested in someone she finds intimidating. Or maybe she just outright is scared of me. Hmm.

Otherwise ski season has begun and I"m backing guiding tours, so I"m sure that will bear fruit as it always does.

Wrathcaster said:

I guess my problem was that I felt weird asking someone out after just a few messages, I feel like it comes off as desperate and pathetic. But I never really tried to progress past the idle bullshit smalltalk. I suppose taking it slow and being aloof just doesn"t work as well for me with online dating.

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I dunno, I found with the half dozen or so girls I met online that I went on dates with that it was best to just cut to the chase after half a dozen to a dozen messages over a week. Anything past that and it"s likely they"re talking with a dozen or more other similarly suitable guys and more than one will have asked them out. Get on that shit! I think most people, or at least the ones I met, just used online dating as a conduit to find outwardly suitable people, and so long as you don"t appear crazy and meet their criteria they"ll be up for meeting because that"s the only way to really get to know someone.

And 95% of them can"t write complete sentences anyway, making getting to know each other through messages (whether instant or not) nearly impossible.

Dabamf said:

It"s all numbers on the internet.

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This. And as a guy, the numbers are against you if you"re going for attractive women (on the absolute scale).

Aamina said:

This isn"t girl-related...but...yay cancer at 26! I really needed this without health insurance.

2nd opinioning this crap next week to be sure.

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Jesus dude, sorry to hear that. If it makes you feel better I found a lump in my scrotum the other week too! Not on my actual nuts though, more like a lump where the scrotum and pelvis meet. Gotta book an appointment on that ASAP.

Eomer said:

And as a guy, the numbers are against you if you"re going for attractive women (on the absolute scale).

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Depends. The 20 something field can be brutal for males shopping for eye candy. If you are 34+, mature, have a good job and make good money, there are TONS of 30+ish hotties (divorced) out there, most of them with child (these are the sane ones) and some without child (avoid at all costs).

brekk said:

Full circle. Back to discussing any woman over 30 without kids must be batshit.

You guys are becoming predictable.

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Explain how they aren"t? Not trying to be confrontational here, just looking for some illumination.

Almost the entire masters/PHD educated strata of women fall into 30+ no kids...and they"re pretty much the most desirable partners in terms of non physical qualities...

So yeah...refuted. ;0

Phoenix said:

Come on, I confuse rug burns for cuts all the time!

Though I do find it funny that the combination of you pushing so hard and her vagina being so dry resulted in your skin tearing yet nothing happening to her.

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Depends on if the guy is uncircumcised and how tight the skin is. A lot of parents don"t teach their kids to stretch their foreskins (if they still have it) as they are growing up and as a result have super tight foreskins. Same thing happened to a friend when he stuck his penis into a dry vag. Nothing happened to her either. He had to get an emergency circumcision, says he prefers being circumcised now too.