Girls who broke your heart thread

The Ancient_sl

shitlord
7,386
16
Eomer said:
She was wearing daisy duke shorts with the pockets showing, and has the ass of a 12 year old boy.
What?

I never felt an opportune moment to make any sort of a move. She was a couple feet away from me on the couch, so there wasn"t any physical contact at all during the movie that would have moved things along. After the movie we chatted for another half an hour or so, she went on her way and said we should definitely do it again sometime. During the chatting there was definitely a lot of hair twirling going on. Looks like game on.
Good god, how can you still be so bad at this after all this time?
 

Tarrant

<Prior Amod>
15,538
8,987
Chris said:
Did she expect me to put my arm around her or kiss her or something in the cinema? I was watching for signals and saw nothing, I"m too shy to try anything like that without any hints (but I have done that stuff in the past and spent the 90 minutes of the movie thinking about that).
If you"re afraid of the word "no" then you shouldn"t be trying to date.

Sorry. (not trying to be a dick, it"s just the truth though.)
 

Tenks

Bronze Knight of the Realm
14,163
606
Thats why the general opinion of going to movies is a horrible date. You sit there in silence for 2 hours not knowing what to do. Why everyone thinks it is a great idea is beyond me.
 

Chaotic_foh

shitlord
0
0
Reading above is why movies are just a bad first date. Without having built up that sexual tension, there really is just no opportune time to "make a move"

Also, with no dialogue there"s no time to build attraction.

When it comes "time" it really shouldn"t be just this arbitrary "here i go!" and hope you don"t get rejected. I"d say quite literally 100% of the time in my life I knew the chick expected / wanted it. (Not necessarily sex, but kissing or even some kind of intimate contact) Let"s say that it just doesn"t come natural to you and you can"t pick up on the signs / vibe .. do some reading (this is just the first article I grabbed off a google search regarding the subject)Human Pheromones: The Science Behind the Scent of Attraction |?Smart PublicationsIt"s LITERALLY in the air for you to pick up on a biological level. If you can"t grab the sociological aspect of attraction, just follow your gut. If it feels awkward.. probably not right. If it feels right? Ding ding ding. Sounds simple but it is.


To put that into perspective; I was friends with a girl for six years. Beautiful girl (I have a lot of platonic female friends) we both came out of a relationship, started spending a lot of time together. Was just a nice distraction. Ended up going on a series of what people would consider dates (dinner, movies, we watched game of thrones @ my house, had a bbq with her parents .. I think there was like 5 or 6) and honest to god I never thought anything of it. We go to a large outdoor concert one day, set up a blanket and are just sitting hanging out .. all of a sudden for the first time in six years I start getting this feeling of wanting to put my arm around her, or kiss her - TOTALLY foreign - but it"s in my head / body all night. I end up going to take her home , she asks me if its cool if she comes in to hang out a bit - and within 45 minutes she kisses me. It"s textbook pheromones. She became attracted to me at some point, decided that she was going to make her move that night, and her body gave her away and in turn activated mine to the prospect. Just tune into that and you"re golden.
 

Chris

Potato del Grande
18,208
-334
Tarrant said:
If you"re afraid of the word "no" then you shouldn"t be trying to date.

Sorry. (not trying to be a dick, it"s just the truth though.)
I wouldn"t even know how to phrase the question, I just freeze with anxiety as soon as anything like that comes up. Well that was a few years ago, I basically gave up after a few more bad experiences and a big dose of anti depressants.

I don"t think I"ve even met anyone who is single in the last 4 years, everyone in my profession seems to be married and women don"t do geek hobbies.
 

Tarrant

<Prior Amod>
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Why would you ask? Just do it dude, if she doesn"t want it there she"ll let you know.

Who asks if they can put their arm around a date? Would you ask to kiss her too? (please don"t say yes.)

Also, movies are awful first dates, don"t do that again.
 

Chris

Potato del Grande
18,208
-334
Tarrant said:
Why would you ask? Just do it dude, if she doesn"t want it there she"ll let you know.

Who asks if they can put their arm around a date? Would you ask to kiss her too? (please don"t say yes.)

Also, movies are awful first dates, don"t do that again.
It was the second date / third time we had met up and a previous first date in a cinema with someone else was awesome.

I wouldn"t ask of course but there needs to be some kind of body language indicator?

I have basically zero idea about how any of this stuff works, I was raised by parents who have no social skills, a family where everyone hates each other and a father who is a verbally abusive alcoholic. I"ve struggled to fix it without much success and with alot of anxiety for years. I even struggle keeping in touch with close friends.
 

Tenks

Bronze Knight of the Realm
14,163
606
Chris said:
I wouldn"t even know how to phrase the question, I just freeze with anxiety as soon as anything like that comes up. Well that was a few years ago, I basically gave up after a few more bad experiences and a big dose of anti depressants.

I don"t think I"ve even met anyone who is single in the last 4 years, everyone in my profession seems to be married and womendon"t do geek hobbies.
WTF does that even mean? By "geek hobbies" do you mean anti-social shut-in video game activities? There are tons of "geek hobbies" you can find girls who are into. Do they geek for cooking? For running? For TV? My god man you don"t need to date your female equivalent.


It was the second date / third time we had met up and a previous first date in a cinema with someone else was awesome.

I wouldn"t ask of course but there needs to be some kind of body language indicator?

I have basically zero idea about how any of this stuff works, I was raised by parents who have no social skills, a family where everyone hates each other and a father who is a verbally abusive alcoholic. I"ve struggled to fix it without much success and with alot of anxiety for years. I even struggle keeping in touch with close friends.
If this was your 2/3rd date and you didn"t feel comfortable putting your arm around her you did something very, very wrong the first date
 

Cutlery

Kill All the White People
<Gold Donor>
6,405
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The Ancient said:
Yeah, I gotta go with Nintendo Peanut here. What the fuck is up with this saying? Is that good or bad? Everyone seems to talk about it like it"s good, but it is most definitely not good, because you wanna be snuggling up next to a 10 year old boy?

I haveneverunderstood that statement from any straight man. It is just fucked up beyond belief.
 

Zarniwoop_foh

shitlord
0
0
I took it to mean she"s skinny and has no ass (and probably no tits?), which is not a good thing, but at least she"s not fat, which is a good thing. I dated such a woman, and yeah, I prefer a little meat on the bones.
 

Eomer

Trakanon Raider
5,472
272
Etwynn said:
You fucked up. You were nervous, and it"s understandable, but you need to realize that the time to make a move was then, not the next time you hang out after you"ve given her time to wonder whether you"re gay or just not interested.

...

I think we"ve failed to impress upon you that your approach of not making a move because you"re not sure if she"s interested will only work for the 5% of girls who are really forward. The remainder will give up, stop giving signals, and leave you forever reading into meaningless shit like hair twirling.
I realize I fucked up, let"s be clear on that. I wasn"t asking for advice or anything, just relating what happened. I know what needs to happen next time. And I didn"t not make a move because I wasn"t sure if she"s interested, that wasn"t why at all. Like I said, a good opportunity didn"t present itself, or I didn"t make one for myself.

ham said:
I think the bigger red flag is she left just 30 minutes later, unless you were like *yawn* I need to get to bed, or whatever. I think you made the right move in not doing anything if she was ready to get out of there that soon after the movie was over. I can"t think of a time I"ve ever gone on or had a movie date where it was like welp movie is over, see ya around.
The movie finished up around 11. Before we"d watched it she"d commented that she was worn out as she"d gone out Thursday and Friday and had some late nights, all of her friends were just taking it easy that night as well etc. When the movie finished up I asked if she felt up for watching something else, she said it was probably better not to and she should get rolling pretty soon because she wanted to get up early Sunday to go for a run and do some other stuff. Then we hung out on the couch for the 20-30 minutes talking a bit more.

She wasn"t in a rush to run out the door by any means. We watched the movie, which was kind of the plan, and there wasn"t much else to do semi-late on a Saturday that wasn"t going to lead to a late night.

The Ancient said:
Good god, how can you still be so bad at this after all this time?
lol, it comes and goes. Sometimes I do quite well for myself, sometimes I shit the bed.

Tenks said:
Thats why the general opinion of going to movies is a horrible date. You sit there in silence for 2 hours not knowing what to do. Why everyone thinks it is a great idea is beyond me.
Agreed if it"s a movie theatre date. We chatted quite a bit throughout the movie, since it was just a silly comedy and we didn"t need to follow it closely.

TheCutlery said:
Yeah, I gotta go with Nintendo Peanut here. What the fuck is up with this saying? Is that good or bad? Everyone seems to talk about it like it"s good, but it is most definitely not good, because you wanna be snuggling up next to a 10 year old boy?

I have never understood that statement from any straight man. It is just fucked up beyond belief.
lol, sheesh, I"d just watched an episode of Californication where the saying is used. It"s just a way of saying that a chick has a tight ass in a raunchy, offensive way. I tend to like my women on the thin, athletic side of things and she definitely fits that. Not much for boobs, but I"ve never been much of a boob guy.
 

The Ancient_sl

shitlord
7,386
16
I"m sure he means the implication that there is a natural connection between sex and a 12 year old boy"s ass.

It was a weird thing to say, let"s move on.
 

Cutlery

Kill All the White People
<Gold Donor>
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I"ve heard it, I just find the context to be very disturbing. Like the one thing that sticks out in my mind is from True Lies where what...Bill Paxton? That car dealership dude says it. And just the way he does just makes me cringe every time. Like, there"s seriously something wrong with that fucking saying and it needs to go away.

And I don"t get offended easily, everyone here knows that. It"s just the connection between a 10 year old boy"s ass and some measure of attractiveness. It"s fucked up. Like it"s fine to say she"s got a tight ass. That"s cool, everyone knows what we"re talking about. It"s the 10 year old boy part that takes it up to the creepy level.
 

Tarrant

<Prior Amod>
15,538
8,987
Chris said:
It was the second date / third time we had met up and a previous first date in a cinema with someone else was awesome.

I wouldn"t ask of course but there needs to be some kind of body language indicator?

I have basically zero idea about how any of this stuff works, I was raised by parents who have no social skills, a family where everyone hates each other and a father who is a verbally abusive alcoholic. I"ve struggled to fix it without much success and with alot of anxiety for years. I even struggle keeping in touch with close friends.
Since this was a 3rd date and she never contacted you after it was either because she decided she didn"t like you or she decided she didn"t like you because you never showed interest in making a move. You never even went in for a kiss at all during this time?

The fact she was out on a 3rd date with you should have been all the sign you needed to make some sort of move. She wouldn"t have been out on a 3rd date with you at that point fi she wasn"t interested but due to lack of action, she"s no longer interested.

From now on if your first date goes well, go for a kiss at the end of it, most women aren"t bitches about it and are expected it, if they aren"t into it on the first date they will say no, or if they aren"t interested at all they will say so. You can"t be afraid of rejection at all, if you are, then they will sense your lack of confidence and at that point the date was over as soon as it began.