Health Problems

iannis · Jul 27, 2019

Yeah, that's a bad spot.

There's not a single thing you can do about it either, so there's a message of hope.

Just have him over to interact with the grandkids. But don't let him drive. And be firm with, "because you'll kill us pop, and I ain't trying to die today".

My parents are going the opposite. My mom wants me to drive her with increasing regularity. Just paying back those teenage years, how I look at it.

BoozeCube · Jul 29, 2019

I guess this is probably the best thread to post this in but yesterday I was walking down the stairs and my stupid dog is running almost underneath me and I slipped and sprained my knee more than likely, not sure how badly as it didn't seem like there was a huge amount of swelling but I am sure I torn to some degree my MCL and/or ACL. I can put weight on it and walk around although I have a hell of a limp at the moment and do my best not to bend my knee but holy shit is it far more painful than I would expect.

I haven't been to the doctor for it yet I figured I would give it a day or two and see how well it recovers first, I was looking up and it was saying it can take between a few weeks up to a few months to heal depending on the severity. Anyways anyone have experience with this before? I didn't hear any popping type sound so I am just hoping it is minor but the pain level can certainly rank up there if I happen to step on it wrong at the moment.

Noodleface · Jul 29, 2019

iannis said:
Yeah, that's a bad spot.

There's not a single thing you can do about it either, so there's a message of hope.

Just have him over to interact with the grandkids. But don't let him drive. And be firm with, "because you'll kill us pop, and I ain't trying to die today".

My parents are going the opposite. My mom wants me to drive her with increasing regularity. Just paying back those teenage years, how I look at it.

I may have downplayed it a bit but when he was driving home he was in and out of lanes like a madman. I had to yell PULL OVER. My kids kept flashing in my head and I'm thinking I can't let this be the end of my life.

My wife is giving me massive shit telling me we need to hold an intervention. My aunt (his sister ) caught wind of it and is pushing me too. The problem is if he's not listening to doctors for 20 years why the fuck will he listen to me? Also I'm not even sure he remembers it happening. He was texting me today about how much he's listening to steel panther since the show. Dude you didn't even make it through one song.

Jx3 · Jul 29, 2019

First, long time no see amigos. It's been awhile, completely my fault.

Secondly I came here because I know I'll get the hard truth(s) and all the years I've been lurking here I've come to know that punches are not pulled.

I have cancer, had rectal cancer 3 years ago, did the radiation, chemo. Got the bag (permanent), learned to deal with that. Last year found out that the cancer moved to my lungs, back on chemo I go. Every other week, 46 hour drip. On chemo until the cancer progresses or I die. Almost died from 2 blood clots in my lungs late last year. Long story short it's been a wild ride.

Quite frankly I'm kinda tired of this ride. I've been thinking of quitting chemo, it fucking sucks. I feel like dogshit for a week, then the next week I feel ok. Then, back to chemo. I know what the end result (me dead) but that's the end result for everyone. I might get 10 more years due to chemo but for half that time I'm going to feel like shit. I guess what I'm asking is am I piece of shit if I say "fuck this shit I'm done"?

Frenzied Wombat · Jul 29, 2019

Jx3 said:
First, long time no see amigos. It's been awhile, completely my fault.

Secondly I came here because I know I'll get the hard truth(s) and all the years I've been lurking here I've come to know that punches are not pulled.

I have cancer, had rectal cancer 3 years ago, did the radiation, chemo. Got the bag (permanent), learned to deal with that. Last year found out that the cancer moved to my lungs, back on chemo I go. Every other week, 46 hour drip. On chemo until the cancer progresses or I die. Almost died from 2 blood clots in my lungs late last year. Long story short it's been a wild ride.

Quite frankly I'm kinda tired of this ride. I've been thinking of quitting chemo, it fucking sucks. I feel like dogshit for a week, then the next week I feel ok. Then, back to chemo. I know what the end result (me dead) but that's the end result for everyone. I might get 10 more years due to chemo but for half that time I'm going to feel like shit. I guess what I'm asking is am I piece of shit if I say "fuck this shit I'm done"?

No. I watched my mom die of cancer and I've decided I won't go out that way. I'll move to Oregon or Switzerland or whatever and off myself. Nobody can decide what your quality of life is but you. Ultimately, it just comes down to whether you are deriving enough happiness from life to justify the ongoing treatments and pain. How old are you?

Jx3 · Jul 29, 2019

36, never smoked, cancer doesn't run in the family. Got lucky I suppose.

Frenzied Wombat · Jul 29, 2019

Jx3 said:
36, never smoked, cancer doesn't run in the family. Got lucky I suppose.

Fuck man, I'm sorry.. 36 is way too fucking young. Ultimately, again, only you can decide what your quality of life is, but if I was just 36 I'd want to squeeze as much good time as I could.

iannis · Jul 29, 2019

No, that's a decision that is yours to make.

Id suggest you make good with your family first if possible.

Vepil · Jul 29, 2019

Jx3 said:
First, long time no see amigos. It's been awhile, completely my fault.

Secondly I came here because I know I'll get the hard truth(s) and all the years I've been lurking here I've come to know that punches are not pulled.

I have cancer, had rectal cancer 3 years ago, did the radiation, chemo. Got the bag (permanent), learned to deal with that. Last year found out that the cancer moved to my lungs, back on chemo I go. Every other week, 46 hour drip. On chemo until the cancer progresses or I die. Almost died from 2 blood clots in my lungs late last year. Long story short it's been a wild ride.

Quite frankly I'm kinda tired of this ride. I've been thinking of quitting chemo, it fucking sucks. I feel like dogshit for a week, then the next week I feel ok. Then, back to chemo. I know what the end result (me dead) but that's the end result for everyone. I might get 10 more years due to chemo but for half that time I'm going to feel like shit. I guess what I'm asking is am I piece of shit if I say "fuck this shit I'm done"?

No, I would not wish this life on anyone. If you are done you are done.

a_skeleton_05 · Jul 29, 2019

The only way being a piece of shit would apply is if you have close family and you didn't talk to them about it first.

Should consider talking to a cancer focused therapist/counsellor first as well. One was a big help for me.

Noodleface · Jul 29, 2019

If you're at peace with the decision, then I'd at least talk to close family and express your wishes. Not that you want them to try to talk you out of it, but that you want them to support you.

Such a hard decision to make, best of luck.

pharmakos · Jul 29, 2019

Jx3 said:
First, long time no see amigos. It's been awhile, completely my fault.

Secondly I came here because I know I'll get the hard truth(s) and all the years I've been lurking here I've come to know that punches are not pulled.

I have cancer, had rectal cancer 3 years ago, did the radiation, chemo. Got the bag (permanent), learned to deal with that. Last year found out that the cancer moved to my lungs, back on chemo I go. Every other week, 46 hour drip. On chemo until the cancer progresses or I die. Almost died from 2 blood clots in my lungs late last year. Long story short it's been a wild ride.

Quite frankly I'm kinda tired of this ride. I've been thinking of quitting chemo, it fucking sucks. I feel like dogshit for a week, then the next week I feel ok. Then, back to chemo. I know what the end result (me dead) but that's the end result for everyone. I might get 10 more years due to chemo but for half that time I'm going to feel like shit. I guess what I'm asking is am I piece of shit if I say "fuck this shit I'm done"?

Foler was asking about you

so yeah -- hey

Foler here's an update on jx3

i'm still doing chemo myself, 3 and a half years later, but i don't have it nearly as bad as you. the cycle of feeling like shit for a week every other week really is a fucking bummer. for me it's every three weeks right now but it is still enough. i start dreading chemo week about 4 days into the second week of my cycle. i bet you end up dreading it as soon as you feel better. that really has to suck.

i hope things work out as well as they can for you man. hopefully you get good drugs.

and hey, i know it's gotta be a long shot, but there's probably still a slim chance the chemo will work, right? my cancer was doing horribly until i started the keto diet, then things turned around dramatically, and my next chemo after that seems to have done the trick. if you're reaching the point of desperation, maybe give it a try.

Springbok · Jul 29, 2019

Jx3 said:
First, long time no see amigos. It's been awhile, completely my fault.

Secondly I came here because I know I'll get the hard truth(s) and all the years I've been lurking here I've come to know that punches are not pulled.

I have cancer, had rectal cancer 3 years ago, did the radiation, chemo. Got the bag (permanent), learned to deal with that. Last year found out that the cancer moved to my lungs, back on chemo I go. Every other week, 46 hour drip. On chemo until the cancer progresses or I die. Almost died from 2 blood clots in my lungs late last year. Long story short it's been a wild ride.

Quite frankly I'm kinda tired of this ride. I've been thinking of quitting chemo, it fucking sucks. I feel like dogshit for a week, then the next week I feel ok. Then, back to chemo. I know what the end result (me dead) but that's the end result for everyone. I might get 10 more years due to chemo but for half that time I'm going to feel like shit. I guess what I'm asking is am I piece of shit if I say "fuck this shit I'm done"?

Watched my dad go through a similar chemo cycle for 4 months with lung cancer before he finally passed. It probably bought him 6 months, but they were a really lousy 6 months and once he finished chemo he never quite recovered.

I guess for me, (easy to say having never gone through it personally) I would be curious what the outlook is (percentages, life expectancy etc - just ballpark as I realize every case is different). We're the same age thereabouts, and if I thought there was a good chance I'd make it through this deal (even if only a few more years) I'd probably proceed with treatment. If it looked terminal, and the odds weren't with me I'd probably find a nice place to "retire" and enjoy whatever time I had left. Hard to say, shitty deal and I have empathy for your plight. Have they tried lobectomy on lungs yet or cyberknife options?

Captain Suave · Jul 29, 2019

Frenzied Wombat said:
No. I watched my mom die of cancer and I've decided I won't go out that way.

Same. No fucking way I'm doing that. Not just for my own sake, but for my family's as well. Everyone invariably fights too hard, too long, and the toll it can take on the surviving family is brutal. In retrospect, most of my mom's final two years was all of us collectively on autopilot grinding our souls into dust. Caring for her till the bitter end fucked up my sister for most of a decade afterwards.

We can all have the best intentions possible, but I'm sparing my wife and kids if we ever go that far down the cancer road. I'm getting my affairs in order, having a good party with people I love, and going out on a kilo of heroin.

Frenzied Wombat · Jul 29, 2019

Captain Suave said:
Same. No fucking way I'm doing that. Not just for my own sake, but for my family's as well. Everyone invariably fights too hard, too long, and the toll it can take on the surviving family is brutal. In retrospect, most of the final two years was all of us collectively on autopilot grinding our souls into dust. Caring for my mom till the end fucked up my sister for most of a decade afterwards.

We can all have the best intentions possible, but I'm not inflicting that on my wife and kids.

Yeah, the final months where they become skeletal and delirious definitely does "grind your soul into dust". The final moments of my mom's life are an image that will never leave my memory. You think the end will be this "drift off peacefully" 7th Heaven nonsense, and it was anything but. My sisters ran screaming from the room and I was frozen in shocked horror. I don't think I've had a good night's sleep since, and it's been years. I can't let that happen to me.

iannis · Jul 29, 2019

Nobody wants that for you jxg, I certainly hope you aren't embroiled in despair. You have reason to be but I hope you're not suffering that. There's not much to say about it over the internet.

Try to focus on the practical things. What arrangements can be made for the body, what sort of effects are you leaving, what obligations do you have that will outlive you. What plan can you make and enact to address these sorts of concerns.

It won't be easy for your family no matter what. But with a last bit of willfullness you can perhaps make it a little bit easier.

I mean what else is life about if not that.

Jx3 · Jul 29, 2019

I appreciate the feel goods. It's just been a question (should I quit chemo?) that has been bugging me. I of course asked my family and I'm the first to go through this shit. Most of my family is dead by 60 from either heart attack or being shot. They have no clue what the fuck to do. All I get is "keep fighting!", "thoughts and prayer," and my personal favorite "never give up!" from a bunch of people who have never gone through this shit or even dealt with someone who has.

I keep flip-flopping honestly. Chemo fucking sucks but dying sucks worse. Plus I feel like if I don't do as much as possible to keep living then that's the same as suicide. If someone else were going through this I wouldn't bat an eye, I'd be like "you do you, nobody gonna judge you." It's not someone else though, I tend to be a much harsher critic of myself.

Appreciate you bros, sometimes it's good to just bitch to a neutral party.

Haus · Jul 29, 2019

Jx3 said:
First, long time no see amigos. It's been awhile, completely my fault.

Secondly I came here because I know I'll get the hard truth(s) and all the years I've been lurking here I've come to know that punches are not pulled.

I have cancer, had rectal cancer 3 years ago, did the radiation, chemo. Got the bag (permanent), learned to deal with that. Last year found out that the cancer moved to my lungs, back on chemo I go. Every other week, 46 hour drip. On chemo until the cancer progresses or I die. Almost died from 2 blood clots in my lungs late last year. Long story short it's been a wild ride.

Quite frankly I'm kinda tired of this ride. I've been thinking of quitting chemo, it fucking sucks. I feel like dogshit for a week, then the next week I feel ok. Then, back to chemo. I know what the end result (me dead) but that's the end result for everyone. I might get 10 more years due to chemo but for half that time I'm going to feel like shit. I guess what I'm asking is am I piece of shit if I say "fuck this shit I'm done"?

I'm of the same mind as some others around here. I believe that when a person is ready to be done and go that's their prerogative. I would say to discuss it with your family, which it sounds kinda like you have. Depending on how much you have in you perhaps try to make a good solid last memory or two with each of them for them to remember before you go. The ones who understand and love you will support you.

Guurn · Jul 29, 2019

There are choices and consequences. I'll relay two of them and some additional crap.
My nephew, after just finishing his doctorate in math and winning a sexual harassment lawsuit against his advisor, was paralyzed from the neck down in a freak accident. He was clear with us that he was going to give it a go but if he couldn't live with the way things were he was moving on. Some people dealt with the news fine and some didn't. I was tasked by his parents with making a convincing argument for living. I did it and he listened. He gave it time. The end doesn't matter but i think him taking the time to make what he considered a rational decision made it easier for everyone other than his parents. They were messed up for a while.

I've probably posted this before but I've had cancer...twice. I also died once for 25 minutes. The short of it is death is nothing to fear. The pain before can be as can the pain you leave behind. I'd say that fighting a reasonable fight is worthwhile not just for you but also for others. I work in radiation so i see some of the horrible shit. For me, as a man of science, i ask if I am taking measures that i can live with and is there anything coming down the pipe that may help. Is there any stupid shit i want to try and do i have a plan if it gets to be too much. That's about it.

You sound like you understand the fight.

Kuriin · Jul 29, 2019

I am very sorry to hear about your cancer,

Jx3 . It is very difficult seeing patients every day come in with generalized weakness due to their illness (for that, anyone really). As

iannis mentioned: this is a decision for you and you alone. There is nothing selfish in dying with dignity; even though there are people out there who think it is. Continue fighting while you want to continue fighting. Quit fighting when you are ready to quit fighting. Just please...don't be that patient that comes in without a will or an advanced directive. It is absolutely heartbreaking when families bring in the 103 year old who is a full code who should just pass.

What ever your decision may be -- just know people are out there thinking of you.

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Health Problems

iannis

Musty Nester

BoozeCube

Von Clippowicz

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick

Jx3

Riddle me this...

Frenzied Wombat

Potato del Grande

Jx3

Riddle me this...

Frenzied Wombat

Potato del Grande

iannis

Musty Nester

Vepil

Gamja

a_skeleton_05

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick

pharmakos

soʞɐɯɹɐɥd

Springbok

Karen

Captain Suave

Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris.

Frenzied Wombat

Potato del Grande

iannis

Musty Nester

Jx3

Riddle me this...

Haus

Guurn

Kuriin

Just a Nurse