Eh, the hate for the BDO system is overblown because people mostly didn't understand how to work with it or didn't have the capital required to do the necessary amount of "blowups". For the vast, vast majority of players it is far, far more efficient to just farm and buy your accessories than it is to attempt your own. You're never going to be able to do the hundreds of combines necessary to come out "ahead" on accessory smashing with the little amount of capital you'd have on month 1 or 2 compared to someone who has built capital over years.
That said, Lost Ark mostly suffers from the fact that it's repeated content. I don't think any of us shy away from "grinds" or games being grindy. Hell, some of us actually LOVE certain grinds (I had a lot of fun farming my infinite pot in BDO, for example, and many people consider that a horrendous grind). The problem with Lost Ark is that those "grinds" have to be repeated not only day in and day out, but across 50 fucking alts. Doing 2x chaos, 2x guardian, Una's etc. is one thing. Having to repeat that shit across 6+ characters? Fucking brutal. And sure, you can save up "rested", but now you're still doing that on a weekly basis. So at least once a week, you're repeating the same fucking content across 5+ characters.
And while I think most of us can stomach "repeated" content, there seems to be a psychological component that gnaws at you when it has to be repeated across alt after alt after alt. I like some of what SG did with the whole "roster" idea, but FF14 STILL has the best "alt" system across all MMOs.