Marriage and the Power of Divorce

*Wife gets knocked up by the guy she's cheating on you with*
"Hey honey, let's have a kid. It's time. Stop pulling out"

Frenzied Wombat said:

Don't know how anybody does condoms for an extended period of time. I literally prefer to jack off than have sex with a condom. For me it's a necessary evil when poking randoms, but an established relationship? Fuck that.

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Exactly. It blows my mind people use condoms for more than random one night stands. Sex with a condom is like watching porn without touching yourself.

ZyyzYzzy said:

Costco trex

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Gross, you too?

Made my HS BF wear a condom every time and I was on BC. Never had an orgasm during sex once. Of course I faked every time. Second serious Bf ditched that and ever since then came 99.999% of the time.

Suing, how often do you suspect your wife fakes it?

Khane said:

*Wife gets knocked up by the guy she's cheating on you with*
"Hey honey, let's have a kid. It's time. Stop pulling out"

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Wait, do I dark like your post or? Someone said you were ginger.

trex confirmed faking it. How's the old bat cave after 2 kids? Mrs. Izo is due with our 2nd in a months time. Sheeeeeiiiiiiiiiit.

Don't act like you don't appreciate my sarcastic humor.

a_skeleton_03 said:

She has not faked it once with anyone ever.

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I used to say that to my HS BF too. Or has she never faked because has never 'gasmd?

Izo said:

trex confirmed faking it. How's the old bat cave after 2 kids? Mrs. Izo is due with our 2nd in a months time. Sheeeeeiiiiiiiiiit.

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Healed a hell of a lot faster. Sex was fine after 2 weeks. After the first it made my stomach drop to even think about something in my vag for 2 months. Hurt a lot less this time and baby shot out like a firework. My OB told me when we have another to call 911 the second my water breaks or contractions start. Went up a size in tampons. No c-section scars though, ay-O! I was lucky to not get any stretch marks on my belly too.

Enjoy having sex with a preggo while you can. Tyen and pretty much all my mom friend's husbands crazy into that.

If your bajingo doesn't recover from childbirth within a couple months then you either pushed out a 10 pounder or you were seriously slacking on doing kegels.

a_skeleton_03 said:

I am into preggo porn, lactation, and other watersports.

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Haha. Dying.

I have a gf who has a super manly husband. She was getting induced at 41 weeks and they decided 2 was enough so she got her tubes tied during the c-section (breech). They had sex the night before and her husband cried afterwards because he "was never going to get to have sex with another pregnant woman". Like cried tears. Guaranteed preggo porn watcher.

Surprised you guys stopped at two

What's your definition of "super manly"?

Like mountain family robinson wilderness badass or like sons of anarchy "shut the fuck up before I give you another black eye" misguided rape fantasy badass?

My definition of manly isn't a dude that cries unless his dog was killed because we all know that's justified

What if his wife dies?

Coin-toss.

Cad said:

All three of my kids were conceived within 2 cycles of stopping pulling out... So either there's a boyfriend out there that has exquisite timing or....

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Same story within a single cycle of trying for my one and only kid we conceived