Marriage and the Power of Divorce

a_skeleton_03 said:

I didn't say there was anything wrong with it. I said that I don't think you have looked into it at all. You have pulled an age out of the hat for when you want to have your next kid without any thought as to why except that biological desire to procreate more.

Every person I know that has had a kid over 30 are the kids that are the brats because the parents are too out of touch and too tired to care or understand what their kids are going through. There is a very good reason our bodies start popping kids out so early.

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Why do you think I haven't looked into it?

I have not pulled an age of my hat, I had a really hard postpartum period with both kids. I need to get some things together in my life and be more prepared for what happens to your body when you have a baby.

You are right, though. 29yr 5mo you are a ball of energy, 31yr 3mo you're practically dead.

@Aldarion is right. While I disagree, a_skeleton_03, most people are saying do it for the money so you're not a mooch and can buy yourself a meal without relying on my parents or husband, most parenting philosophies work. Most kids turn out okay. Thanks for pointing that out.

I am socializing myself. I have about 15 bffs that I met 2 years ago in my first's breastfeeding group though our hospital. So they also all live within 15 min from me. We text all day, our kids are literally within 6mo of each other. 80% of us have a 2nd now or are pregnant with a second. It's great. You don't have to have a job to find your group. I'm accomplishing something that means something. I am fulfilled by my work and I enjoy it.

I don't consider myself a helicopter mom. I just love my kids so much, as I know you all do. Some of you show your love by setting your kids up to live an independent life. I show my love by not wanting to miss out on one second of theirs. Even though T works, I take 1000 pics and tell him everything that happened that day. No one, not even a high paid nanny, would have the enthusiasm for our kids that I have.

trex said:

I am discussing it. What's wrong with me being 50, though I'll probably be 55, when my youngest graduates highschool?

I'm trying to give my body some time to recover. For the last 3 years, next month, I have been either pregnant or breastfeeding. Both for an 8mo period. (Did you just get a boner?)

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I dig preggo so yes

a_skeleton_03 said:

My wife had ours when we were 20 and she finished her masters after that.

I didn't overestimate pregnancy issues just stated the numbers. They don't rise crazily around 30 but it is a concern. At 35 though no joke you should think twice.

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Yeah. Peak fitness is a real thing. And it's roughly the same for men and women. It's right around 28 years old. All that means for men is that if they're not a NFL star by 24 -- well, it's probably time to give up on that dream. But for women, every year beyond the 28th starts to incur a risk more substantial than coming to terms with a pipe dream.

By 35 you really SHOULD think twice. And maybe you go ahead with it anyway, but you need to look at it realistically.

It's only one factor among many... but look at the past two generations. Look at how long women have started waiting before having children. look at the rise of learning disabilities and "autism". One factor among many. Not the only factor, not even the primary factor. But nonetheless a factor. And no one should just blow that off.

It's men too. Yeah, we don't go through menopause. But those spermies start to get more googly eyed every year past 28 for us, as well. A man CAN father a child up until he dies. Doesn't mean he should.

Lol. More like:

Trex: I do things this way and I don't think there is anything wrong with it
a_skeleton_03: There is one right way to do everything and here it is:
Trex: I don't think so, it works for us because x,y,z
a_skeleton_03: SCIENCE SAYS NO AND I ACTUALLY KNOW EVERYHING.
Trex: That's an opinion not science
a_skeleton_03: It's science, you're wrong, I know everything about your situation and even know your thoughts.

a_skeleton_03, your screen name actually has "genius" in it. Do you think it's fair to say you might be just a little bit arrogant? Or that you're acting a little arrogant?

35 was the number 10 years ago, its now 40, and its much less concerning than it was in the past. The advances in science in this field have been outstanding in just the last 5 years.

Source: my 6 figure medical bills and countless appointments with fertility doctors and psychologists.

a_skeleton_03 said:

This is Khane and trex , I will do a one act play. I will play all the parts here we go.

Khane : This is my opinion about everything.
trex : I am also very opinionated and here is what I think.
@a_skeleton_03: I don't agree with either of those and here is why.
Khane and trex (at the same time) WHY CAN'T OUR OPINION BE THE ONLY ONE THAT MATTERS?!?!?!!?
@a_skeleton_03: Well because that's not how the world works.
trex : umm it totes works that way because like umm that's the way I want it to, but like totally have your opinion too but it's wrong, only mine is right
Khane : Yeah only our opinions matter if you have an opinion just keep it to yourself unless it's telling your wife you want threesomes or you will divorce her then you need to say it immediately.
@a_skeleton_03: I don't agree with that, sorry
ZyyzYzzy : EAT SHIT AND DIE FAGGOTS

I put a cameo in there from someone else on the forum, see if you can spot it. It's subtle.

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a_skeleton_03 really hates sarcasm.

Nester said:

35 was the number 10 years ago, its now 40, and its much less concerning than it was in the past. The advances in science in this field have been outstanding in just the last 5 years.

Source: my 6 figure medical bills and countless appointments with fertility doctors and psychologists.

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Yeah. 6 figure medical bills, dude. 35 is still the number though, really. Even at 35 the odds are still in your favor even without the doctors. It's just around there where it's no longer a trivial concern that something may go really wrong. And when you're that devoted to it, just the extra monitoring and awareness will prevent miscarriage. I mean yeah, fertility science is a real thing and it's making real progress. But still, it's only really been picking up since the mid 90's. That's actually not all that long. It's just breathtaking what people have managed to do in 20 years.

I'm honestly curious. Maybe this is a really fucked up question... it kind of is. Was there a plan in place if an obvious deformity had presented? Because it's not a big chance, but it's a non zero chance. Or was the plan "well, lets hope that doesn't happen. If it's born alive we'll love it". I mean that's not dinner conversation, but you kinda have to have those thoughts -- and any doctor worth a shit should probably have that conversation.

iannis said:

I'm honestly curious. Maybe this is a really fucked up question... it kind of is. Was there a plan in place if an obvious deformity had presented? Because it's not a big chance, but it's a non zero chance. Or was the plan "well, lets hope that doesn't happen. If it's born alive we'll love it". I mean that's not dinner conversation, but you kinda have to have those thoughts -- and any doctor worth a shit should probably have that conversation.

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We have taken a year off of the medical avenue for a few reasons so at the time when we had those discussions, we had no higher statistical chance at a birth complication than anyone else, as per 4 doctors in 2 countries.
I am not really sure about your question, if there was an obvious deformation your not really taking a chance you already lost. If it was obvious and cognitive issue we would abort. With pregnancy you are always taking a chance....

In the last year we looked into adoption, further to your question, they give you a list of physical and mental issues a child could have, and you check the box for what you could "handle" we did not check a lot of boxes.
They also had ethnicity on the list.



We got a new puppy 2 months ago, might just stick with that...

iannis said:

Yeah. 6 figure medical bills, dude. 35 is still the number though, really. Even at 35 the odds are still in your favor even without the doctors. It's just around there where it's no longer a trivial concern that something may go really wrong. And when you're that devoted to it, just the extra monitoring and awareness will prevent miscarriage. I mean yeah, fertility science is a real thing and it's making real progress. But still, it's only really been picking up since the mid 90's. That's actually not all that long. It's just breathtaking what people have managed to do in 20 years.

I'm honestly curious. Maybe this is a really fucked up question... it kind of is. Was there a plan in place if an obvious deformity had presented? Because it's not a big chance, but it's a non zero chance. Or was the plan "well, lets hope that doesn't happen. If it's born alive we'll love it". I mean that's not dinner conversation, but you kinda have to have those thoughts -- and any doctor worth a shit should probably have that conversation.

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This is a hot topic at catholic marriage camp

Blazin said:

oh wait, discussion was about having kids late? I take back what I said. Anyone who wants to have children is a fucking moron, and anyone wanting to do it past 28 is super saiyan level retarded.

We really need more add kids who can't touch a peanut, keep having kids late

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I'm having kids at 30 and I'm going to have them go downy attack on you and you won't be able to fight back, bitch.

Cad said:

I can go turn her knick-knacks that nobody ever touches about 10 degrees off center and she'll notice on her first pass. She's a little insane.

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That's how that dude got busted in Misery, better watch your ankles buddy

a_skeleton_03 said:

This is Khane and trex , I will do a one act play. I will play all the parts here we go.

Khane : This is my opinion about everything.
trex : I am also very opinionated and here is what I think.
@a_skeleton_03: I don't agree with either of those and here is why.
Khane and trex (at the same time) WHY CAN'T OUR OPINION BE THE ONLY ONE THAT MATTERS?!?!?!!?
@a_skeleton_03: Well because that's not how the world works.
trex : umm it totes works that way because like umm that's the way I want it to, but like totally have your opinion too but it's wrong, only mine is right
Khane : Yeah only our opinions matter if you have an opinion just keep it to yourself unless it's telling your wife you want threesomes or you will divorce her then you need to say it immediately.
@a_skeleton_03: I don't agree with that, sorry
ZyyzYzzy : EAT SHIT AND DIE FAGGOTS

I put a cameo in there from someone else on the forum, see if you can spot it. It's subtle.

Click to expand...

radditsu = Pootie tang quote or video





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