Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Namon said:

That sure as shit was not me lol.

Nope I bathe, I deoderize, all of that is good.

Deathwing has nailed it, or that is my suspicion as well. I think last night was a "I'm trying just so I stop feeling guilty." Because I don't nag anymore, it's pointless. She just is not that into sex, and yeah, someone else said this too, even less so into oral (basically not at all). I never push the subject on oral., I just like to give as much as I like to get, so if she is up for that I'll take it as I love eating the pussy as much as banging it. And honestly I don't push on sex anymore either. I figure if she really wants to have it, she will let me know. Me being a bitch about it and throwing a fit when I don't get enough sex, is just me being a bitch. We've talked. She knows how much is my ideal, and it's nowhere close to her ideal, no need to bang her over the head about it constantly.

It was just bizarro world last night, and that's what struck me, because she was actually totally in the mood, and had she just jumped right on me and started fucking after eating her out, I would have thought nothing of it. It's happened before due to her not digging oral like I do, and it's cool. That's why her going apeshit over this perception that I was pouting was so out of nowhere. Because it was just another day in our bedroom as far as I was concerned.

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So, frank discussion with her. "You don't like giving head. Pretending to try is worse than not trying (see last night)...So just grind it out instead of licking it once and it turning into some odd fucking crazy fight when I just wanna give you a creampie"

I think my wife doesn't enjoy giving head either. When she does it's amazing, but honestly me asking for it just kind of kills it

And that is actually what ended up being said last night. She does that shit with full on sex too and it's fucking annoying. She can't act for shit, and I can totally tell when she's giving it up because she feels it's her wifely duty, because she literally stares off into space with this "I'm in my happy place" face, and rubs her fingers in a set pattern on her back while I'm trying to bang a dry as hell pussy. Husband and wife with completely different sex drives... who would have thought of that?

Cad said:

To really enjoy blowjobs you have to either have a chick who really enjoys doing it or just not give a shit if she likes it.

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This so much this. I don't push the subject. In the rare, once every couple of year occurrence, where she actually WANTS to give head, I just go along with it and cherish it as it as rare as an Ancient Cyclops spawn.

Cad said:

To really enjoy blowjobs you have to either have a chick who really enjoys doing it or just not give a shit if she likes it.

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She's like a porn star at giving them, but if I don't ask she'd probably just never do it. Sometimes though the hair tie comes out and I know

and this is why I stick my fingers in my wife's butt at every chance I get.

Cutlery said:

Has it been that way all along?

Did you get married knowing that was the case?

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No I did not know this was going to happen. In fact the sex life was quite good when we were dating and all the way up until our first kid. She was eager to please in every way, and then she shit out a water melon and it absolutely wrecked her. Our first kid was huge and his birth was a 24 hour ordeal. That's when it took the turn that it did. Then we had our second (much easier birth), and things just held steady with some hot moments in between spells of cold. Then about three years ago, she started being the way it was before and I thought I had gone to heaven. No it still wasn't up to where I like to be, but honest to God, I don't think anyone could ever fully satisfy where my sex drive is. I could seriously go multiple times a day, seven days a week. That is just insane, so I will never expect that, but it was definitely multiple times a week, with at least two weekends of the "dirty stuff."

However, her libido tanked again about a year ago, and it caught me off guard. We had gotten her first taste of her inheritance that basically allowed her to quit her full time job and start up her own company that is part time (basic catering and cake baking). Money is no longer an issue, and yet her libido is as cold as if she had a mountain of stress. That's when I finally just came to the realization that she is just a very low sex drive person, but she is the person I married and vowed to stick with, so either leave to get more sex (most likely with a crazy bitch who sucks everywhere else but the bed), or suck it up and enjoy everything else that is good. I picked the latter. I think there are multiple causes to this, some of them stress because she stresses over every little thing, some are just simply biology not on my side, and some are her simply not being a very high effort person on things she doesn't really have a drive for. (can't think of a term that fits here so I hope that makes sense)

How does your wife feel about outsourcing?

G, you've saved my marriage. Godspeed, and may god rest your soul.

Khane said:

How does your wife feel about outsourcing?

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It's kind of funny because my wife reads this facebook clickbait blog called scary mommy and that was the title to one of her articles, and what it was about. This lady wrote that sometimes, she just wants to give her husband a free pass because she can't be assed to fuck him. While it's fun to joke about, I'm just not an "open-marriage" kind of guy. Although having a hot latino bang maid in nothing but a teddy would be quite awesome (Oh shit I just went full circle, so maybe I was the one he was referring to)

And thanks Mrs. Gravy. I wasn't really seaking advice so no worries there. It was just so out there that I had to vent to someone who wasn't totally familiar with who we were. And I'm that way to, it's why the whole oral thing doesn't bother me. Giving it out is pretty damn hot to me on its own, so I don't care if I'm only giving. Yeah receiving is a ton of fun, but only if the person giving it is into it.

Phazael said:

I am strongly against cheating and think open relationships are disasters waiting to happen, but I am going to echo this. If she is going to cut off the supply, but wants to say married, she has to consider letting you get your outlet elsewhere, particularly if it is as severe as it sounds. Low sex drive happens, but the lack of effort to simply want to please your spouse and treating it like a chore (and that you are a piece of shit for wanting it) is unacceptable. If she loves you, she should at least be able to give you a world class handie while making eye contact and smiling because she is making the person she loves happy. If she never wants to go to the rodeo again, she is going to have to let you occasionally go bull riding with someone else or resentment is going to build to a point where you will just plain bail or cheat, anyhow.

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That's the thing, she could come to me tonight and say. "Hey go find yourself a fuck buddy to let off some steam," I wouldn't be able to do it anyway, so it's moot. I agree with your viewpoint and believe it's just a roadway to disaster as well. If other people want to try it at their own relationship's risk, no judgement here at all, but I'd never do it myself.

Namon said:

It's kind of funny because my wife reads this facebook clickbait blog called scary mommy and that was the title to one of her articles, and what it was about. This lady wrote that sometimes, she just wants to give her husband a free pass because she can't be assed to fuck him. While it's fun to joke about, I'm just not an "open-marriage" kind of guy. Although having a hot latino bang maid in nothing but a teddy would be quite awesome (Oh shit I just went full circle, so maybe I was the one he was referring to)

And thanks Mrs. Gravy. I wasn't really seaking advice so no worries there. It was just so out there that I had to vent to someone who wasn't totally familiar with who we were. And I'm that way to, it's why the whole oral thing doesn't bother me. Giving it out is pretty damn hot to me on its own, so I don't care if I'm only giving. Yeah receiving is a ton of fun, but only if the person giving it is into it.

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The fuck is wrong with these women?

Not saying your wife is like that, but if fucking your husband is a chore...fuck..

And to give that as advice on a blog? That cunt is going to be responsible for marriages ending.

Big_w_powah said:

The fuck is wrong with these women?

Not saying your wife is like that, but if fucking your husband is a chore...fuck..

And to give that as advice on a blog? That cunt is going to be responsible for marriages ending.

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OH she is. When I read it, I was legit shook by it for a week. I was furious and almost got into a nerd rage in the comments. I was going to post a link to it here after reading it and I may just try to find it for posterity's sake at this point.

EDIT: and boom, google fu actually worked this time:

The Night I Gave My Husband a Free Pass