Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Soygen said:

I will literally fuck almost anything on this earth and I have my shit pretty well put together.

Click to expand...

So this is a serious inquiry, and it's related to a conversation I recently had with friends. People seem to think that men will simply accept sex at any opportunity. This is the basic working premise of society. I take exception with this. I get enough sex from my wife. If a hot, 18 year old tries to sex me up I'm simply going to nope her. I have no desire to destroy my family because of sex, and I am very satisfied with what goes on in my bed.

Am I alone in this?

lurkingdirk said:

So this is a serious inquiry, and it's related to a conversation I recently had with friends. People seem to think that men will simply accept sex at any opportunity. This is the basic working premise of society. I take exception with this. I get enough sex from my wife. If a hot, 18 year old tries to sex me up I'm simply going to nope her. I have no desire to destroy my family because of sex, and I am very satisfied with what goes on in my bed.

Am I alone in this?

Click to expand...

Ask yourself the same question except this time pretend you aren't married.

We're talking about different things. I'm talking about the binary scale ingrained in all male brains. The simple yes-no scale. And most women out there are 1's.

Khane said:

Ask yourself the same question except this time pretend you aren't married.

Click to expand...

That's a fair question, and one that I have, indeed, asked myself. I don't like the "as much sex as possible" culture at all. Even if I were single, I'm not going to jump into every pussy opportunity that comes my way. Forgive me if you find my ways outdated, but sex is bound to relationships for me. So, yeah. I'm not going to score as often as many single guys because I don't care for casual sex.

lurkingdirk said:

That's a fair question, and one that I have, indeed, asked myself. I don't like the "as much sex as possible" culture at all. Even if I were single, I'm not going to jump into every pussy opportunity that comes my way. Forgive me if you find my ways outdated, but sex is bound to relationships for me. So, yeah. I'm not going to score as often as many single guys because I don't care for casual sex.

Click to expand...

Hrmm, I think you're inflating your idea of what most men want. Especially as we get older.

And what constitutes a relationship? 3 dates? 5 dates? 2 months? It's all arbitrary and I think people get way too caught up in that. If you wanna fuck, fuck. If you don't, don't. There's nothing wrong with living your life either way and the stigma surrounding casual sex needs to die. Especially where it concerns women.

Khane said:

Hrmm, I think you're inflating your idea of what most men want. Especially as we get older.

And what constitutes a relationship? 3 dates? 5 dates? 2 months? It's all arbitrary and I think people get way too caught up in that. If you wanna fuck, fuck. If you don't, don't. There's nothing wrong with living your life either way and the stigma surrounding casual sex needs to die. Especially where it concerns women.

Click to expand...

I don't think I'm inflating anything. I'm merely responding to what culture spits out, and what we're seeing backlash from in huge amounts right now. Like it or not, it is presented as a basic truth that all men will accept any sex that comes their way. I don't believe this, nor do I think we should function as though this were the norm.

As far as casual sex, I propose no stigma. For me (just for me, I'm not looking to make rules for anyone else), sex will be confined to a long-term, monogamous relationship. I can't say it will be X number of dates or months. I'll know when it's time when I see it. That's why I'm making the comments for me. Not for everyone else.

I do have opinions about casual sex for everyone, and I'm not a fan. However, let adults make adult decisions. Then they are welcome to deal with any fall-out.

lurkingdirk said:

I do have opinions about casual sex for everyone, and I'm not a fan. However, let adults make adult decisions. Then they are welcome to deal with any fall-out.

Click to expand...

You say this with an air of superiority. Why?

Can you explain to me why you believe casual sex is so problematic? You say you propose no stigma and then turn around and tell us you hold casual sex and the people who participate in it, in low regard.

Cutlery said:

You're saying all of this from the perspective of a guy who gets what he needs though.

Remove your steady piece from the equation and you may find things changing fairly quickly once you come to the realization that it's your hand or nothing in your scenario.

In that case, the random encounter sure looks a lot more exciting.

Click to expand...

Yeah, I hear what you're saying. And yeah, I have a "steady piece." Prior to being married, however, I didn't nail every thing that came along. I'm not offering criticism of anyone, nor am I saying my way is superior. This is how I live, and this is what I expect of myself. I would be a bloody wreck if casual sex was part of my life. I just don't want that.

Khane said:

You say this with an air of superiority. Why?

Can you explain to me why you believe casual sex is so problematic? You say you propose no stigma and then turn around and tell us you hold casual sex and the people who participate in it, in low regard.

Click to expand...

No, I didn't say I hold people who engage in casual sex in low regard. I'm telling you it isn't for me. If that makes you feel badly, perhaps you should consider why. I don't say this with any superiority. I'm talking about the rules I've established for myself. I'm not imposing anything for others.

Since you asked, I think casual sex diminishes what sex could be for the deeper, longer relationships you could have. That is my opinion, and I hold myself alone to that.

Does eating a hamburger diminish your enjoyment of a bone in ribeye?

Did you marry the first woman you ever slept with? If not did your previous relationships and encounters diminish your life with your wife? Did you ever meet someone you felt you had a connection with and it just ended abruptly, much sooner than you thought? If that happened would it inhibit your ability to ever love again?

It doesn't make me feel badly and that's yet another condescending line. I quoted you talking about how you feel about people, people other than you, engaging in casual sex.

Here is the quote again

I do have opinions about casual sex for everyone, and I'm not a fan. However, let adults make adult decisions. Then they are welcome to deal with any fall-out.

Click to expand...

In that quote you say you are not a fan of casual sex in general, for anyone. Then you try to reel it in with "But hey let people live their lives" and then immediately suggest that there is always fall-out for engaging in such behavior. Whether it's your intention or not it's a little sanctimonious.

I guess I didn't realise that having an opinion would offend you. That's my opinion. It's not condescending. You taking it as such reveals more about you than it does about me. I'm not judging anyone, I was merely stating to what standard I hold myself.

Except you're not. You're stating what values you have for yourself, and then following it up with thinly veiled jabs. It's clearly not worth continuing this discussion.

Okay. I'm not attempting to jab at anyone. I guess having an opinion that isn't your opinion is making jabs. I will not apologize for having an opinion.

Jesus dirk you're on the "Southern Grandmother" tier of passive aggressiveness.

I can't think of anything more cunty and unbecoming of a man than passive aggressive shit talking.