Marriage and the Power of Divorce
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Noodleface
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Aldarion
Egg Nazi
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My wife gets in these moods too. Its like all of a sudden she's possessed by her mother in law and starts channeling her negativity.
The following may sounds like I'm not being serious or not appropriate for the grown ups forum or something. But honestly, what helped me the most was realizing women are not rational creatures. They are like children or dogs. Little kids cant help but throw a tantrum, dogs cant help but sniff other dogs butts, and women cant help getting emotional and pissy for no reason. They just dont have the same ability to suck it up and control their emotion like rational beings do. I find this helpful, to remind myself of this.
Khane
Got something right about marriage
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So she turns into your mom? That's some next level shit.
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Big_w_powah
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Noodle is a mythic fucking raider. He has powers man, you don't know what they are.
Wantonsoup95
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I can't stand negative attitudes like that. Life is hard enough already, don't need it at home too. I usually make her justify any negative comments, don't care how big the fight is over it. But we don't have kids so the dynamic is probably a bit different.
Like the guitar thing, I'd make her spell out what we are "spending too much" on. I get the same shit whenever I buy a game, ammo, or anything.
Like the guitar thing, I'd make her spell out what we are "spending too much" on. I get the same shit whenever I buy a game, ammo, or anything.
Phazael
Confirmed Beta Shitlord, Fat Bastard
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Married to a Latino woman? Yeah, I am with Noodle on this. He needs to pick his battles and not even engage on stupid shit. Chances are she is feeling shitty about herself and looking for a fight so she can project the blame on him. My wife does this shit occasionally, but she usually recognizes is when its pointed out. For my part, I have to remind myself that she does not always want problems solved, she sometimes just wants me to listen to her bitch about shit. Its a Mars Venus thing.
@Bisi-
I am not saying she is fucking around on you, but I might see who she has been chatting up on social medial lately. In my experience when a woman hard core checks out its because they have or are planning to fuck someone else and are rationalizing it to themselves hardcore, but that is not always the case so more information would help you make an informed course of action. Also, how did her friend die? Finally, lawyer up NOW. If she is determined not to try and solve problems, it means she has been planning to bail and is likely a couple steps ahead of you already.
@Bisi-
I am not saying she is fucking around on you, but I might see who she has been chatting up on social medial lately. In my experience when a woman hard core checks out its because they have or are planning to fuck someone else and are rationalizing it to themselves hardcore, but that is not always the case so more information would help you make an informed course of action. Also, how did her friend die? Finally, lawyer up NOW. If she is determined not to try and solve problems, it means she has been planning to bail and is likely a couple steps ahead of you already.
Namon
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This right here is the biggest thing that I just cannot do. I absolutely hate that after griping about stuff, that I offer a suggestion on how to make it better, and she throws that at me. I just want you to listen! I just finally threw in the towel and I'll just say "Of course we don't want to actually fix shit, we just want to gripe about it, I know!" It's childish but Jesus fuck, when something is not working, I want to make it better not endlessly revel in the fact that it's just broken.
Big_w_powah
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I dunno, I get the need to vent sometimes. My thing is, if its venting and you don't want a solution? Just let me know that. "Hey Honey, I need to bitch. Grab a beer and sit down" is a regular thing to hear Mrs. Dubya say.
Namon
Blackwing Lair Raider
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When it's just dumb day to day shit, yeah I'm all over that. The biggest example I have was the shithole my wife worked in for two years. The place was run by a complete piece of shit who had his little minions. My wife actually tried to do things by the book and to make the place better, but they'd fight her tooth and nail, and so she'd come home and chronicle it to me every night. She gave me "I need to vent" thing and finally I was like "You need to leave." If she wasn't going to attempt to take action to make things better, or even could attempt, then there is no reason in staying. Thank god she took that advice (it was actually more of an ultimatum), and we have been way better off without it.
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Why does it seem to me that women are usually the ones that are like this? Or are men the same way but we don't attempt to cohabitate with them etc so we never see it?
Phazael
Confirmed Beta Shitlord, Fat Bastard
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From an evolutionary standpoint, women are more material and insecure, so they see all resources as theirs and that kind of bitching is just a re-affirming of that control. Some women are more conscious of it than others, but a traditional woman from the kind of background Mrs Noodle is from? Yeah its the classic "There is her money and our money" shit going on.
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Hey,
Noodleface
, does she ever work out? My wife had a period of about six months where she was excessively negative. This was after our fourth, about a year after. She was just unhappy and turned life miserable for everyone else. We talked about it, she wasn't terribly rational, but in the end it was just a tough time for everyone. She decided at one point to start working out, and get herself back in shape. That was like flipping a switch on the negativity thing. Her entire disposition changed very quickly, and what is better, she was able to see it in herself.
I know it's not a fix all for everything or everyone, but see if you can get your wife to work out. It's a hard thing to suggest, because she's initially going to think you're saying that because you're unhappy with her body shape or whatever. Talk about the mental benefits of working out. They're huge.
Noodleface
, does she ever work out? My wife had a period of about six months where she was excessively negative. This was after our fourth, about a year after. She was just unhappy and turned life miserable for everyone else. We talked about it, she wasn't terribly rational, but in the end it was just a tough time for everyone. She decided at one point to start working out, and get herself back in shape. That was like flipping a switch on the negativity thing. Her entire disposition changed very quickly, and what is better, she was able to see it in herself.I know it's not a fix all for everything or everyone, but see if you can get your wife to work out. It's a hard thing to suggest, because she's initially going to think you're saying that because you're unhappy with her body shape or whatever. Talk about the mental benefits of working out. They're huge.
Phazael
Confirmed Beta Shitlord, Fat Bastard
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Stereotypes and generalizations are popular because they are generally true. I agree they are not the end of assessing the individual, but they are a good starting point. I am curious to hear your theory on the origins of Noodle's argument with the Mrs, and possible solutions. Or do you just want to bitch about it like a woman instead?
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ZyyzYzzy
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Hey,
I know it's not a fix all for everything or everyone, but see if you can get your wife to work out. It's a hard thing to suggest, because she's initially going to think you're saying that because you're unhappy with her body shape or whatever. Talk about the mental benefits of working out. They're huge.
lurkingdirk
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