Marriage and the Power of Divorce

moonarchia

The Scientific Shitlord
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Cheer up little buddy. The ones in asia do!
 

Frenzied Wombat

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Unfortunately none of my casual sex stories are particularly outrageous.

I guess I’ve got some funny anecdotes I could think of and post later.

I’ll post one to start:

Matched with a stoner girl on Tinder. Pretty face, decent body, 30ish years old.

I was living in Oakland at the time and she invited me to her place. She was, not surprisingly, stoned out of her mind. I’m not a stoner, but she was doing what I think are called dabs, where you have this apparatus that burns wax into smoke.

She had told me via text ahead of time she was on her period. I said I didn’t mind. She said she wanted to see my dick and that she’d make it worth my while. Okie dokie.

I get there and she’s smoking from this dab thing. We sit on the couch and talk when she’s done. I started rubbing her arm, she starts rubbing my crotch over my pants.

She pulls my dick out and starts to give me a handjob, which moved into her blowing me. I start taking her tits out and stuff like that.

I get all worked up and want to fuck her. I’ve had period sex many times, it’s no big deal. So we go to her bedroom, I put a condom on, and start to fuck her. She was just super bloody. It totally threw me off after I looked. Almost instantly lost my hardon. I flat out told her it was too much for me, and she told me it was no big deal and she took me to the shower to clean off.

Ended up never seeing her again and lost a $120 jacket at her place.

This forum needs more stories like this.

All I can say is that she would have to be smoking for me to screw her on her period, let alone driving somewhere for the opportunity to do so. I ate a chick out once on her period, but the bitch never told me, claimed it "just started", and I didn't notice because the lights were out. All I kept thinking is how wrong it was for such a hot chick to have such a fish-stank poon. When I was done and went to go to the bathroom to take a leak, I experienced a double take and moment of terror when I saw my face covered in blood until I realized what happened. Bitch wasn't even apologetic and I had to strip my own blood soaked sheets.
 
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Jackie Treehorn

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This forum needs more stories like this.

All I can say is that she would have to be smoking for me to screw her on her period, let alone driving somewhere for the opportunity to do so. I ate a chick out once on her period, but the bitch never told me, claimed it "just started", and I didn't notice because the lights were out. All I kept thinking is how wrong it was for such a hot chick to have such a fish-stank poon. When I was done and went to go to the bathroom to take a leak, I experienced a double take and moment of terror when I saw my face covered in blood until I realized what happened. Bitch wasn't even apologetic and I had to strip my own blood soaked sheets.

That definitely one-ups anything I’ve done with periods.

I will say I met up with a girl once who blew me and said she was on her period. I wanted to see her ass anyway so I pulled her pants down and the smell was horrifying.

Usually periods in my experience don’t typically make the smell any worse, but hoo boy, that was bad.
 

Frenzied Wombat

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That definitely one-ups anything I’ve done with periods.

I will say I met up with a girl once who blew me and said she was on her period. I wanted to see her ass anyway so I pulled her pants down and the smell was horrifying.

Usually periods in my experience don’t typically make the smell any worse, but hoo boy, that was bad.

Trust me, all period pussies stink. You've literally got dying ovum chunks in there.

Also can't say I've ever had a chick ask for a dick pic, does that actually really happen with any frequency?
 

Springbok

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As a single male, I'm kinda leaning towards the side of the married guys who say those completely shitting on it are just salty singles. I hope you're right, if not will you pay my divorce settlement in the future lawl. @a_skeleton_03 props dude. Need to hear more testimonies from forum bros who are happily married please, need to restore my faith that this is possible.

It's a balance, and it's about finding the right "one" - which of course is code for finding the right "one" for you. I have friends who married "up", friends who "settled" etc but the only ones I know happily married (or as happily married as my wife and I) are the ones who were comfortable with themselves (and their needs/wants) and relatively happy before the marriage. Before even dating the girl. I met my wife abroad (she's from South Africa), and I'd known for years that I wanted somebody with more traditional values, work ethic, etc (basically, 1950's America - the shit that everybody reeeeee's against today) because it was the only way a marriage would work for me and my personality. Professionally and socially, I'm fairly dominant aggressive so marriage to somebody like that would be like putting two bulls together in a china shop. I've dated girls like that, and it just doesn't work. Thankfully, I met my wife and knew pretty quickly it could be a great match. She's beautiful, cooks everyday, cleans, raises our kid and still works part-time doing administration for a local university and never complains, never gives me shit for playing video games, and understands my sacrifice every morning is equal to hers (it's not... not even close but I'll allow her to continue thinking that). Plus, she's very pretty and works to maintain her looks - I find her more beautiful now as a mother than I did before the kiddo. Is everything perfect? No, and there are times when I'm half tempted to burn it all down for a tinder random - but ultimately I understand the pointlessness of that pursuit - another reason I believe it's critical to "sow your wild oats" while you can, have a ton of meaningless sex while you can, etc because later, when marriage becomes hard you have a comparison.

Marriage is for me about friendship and companionship as much as anything. Adding a child has only enhanced my love for my wife - I could never do what she does. The selflessness of it all, and the love and bond between her and our mini-Springbok is so unbelievable, so primal that it makes me love her more just having witnessed it. If you find the right gal (for you, everybody is different), I've found marriage to be the most compelling and reaffirming decision I've ever made (and I never really wanted to get married or have kids... I liked $$ & random poon too much and waited until my 30's for marriage/mid 30's for the kiddo).

I can promise you this though - the right girl for me would have been impossible to find on fucking bumble/tinder or whatever, but everybody is different I guess.
 
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Jackie Treehorn

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Trust me, all period pussies stink. You've literally got dying ovum chunks in there.

Also can't say I've ever had a chick ask for a dick pic, does that actually really happen with any frequency?

Absolutely. A lot of the “sure thing” matches on Tinder have asked for dick pics without me offering, which I never do.

I’d say it only happens with the ones who start sexting with you within hours of matching.

Then there are the girls who want to hook up but want to go to dinner at least first or have drinks and they’re less likely to ask.
 

Big_w_powah

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I married up. My wife is much hotter than I could get elsewhere.

Thats why I put a ring on it folks. To secure better looking pussy than I could otherwise score as a fatass.
 
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Frenzied Wombat

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Absolutely. A lot of the “sure thing” matches on Tinder have asked for dick pics without me offering, which I never do.

I’d say it only happens with the ones who start sexting with you within hours of matching.

Then there are the girls who want to hook up but want to go to dinner at least first or have drinks and they’re less likely to ask.

Interesting. I have honestly never been asked and wouldn't send one even if I was. Perhaps it's because I never get explicit and talk sex through chat. It's always cordial with some low level flirting which then segues into "hey, want to come over for a bottle of wine and some Netflix?".
 

Lanx

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I met my wife abroad (she's from South Africa), and I'd known for years that I wanted somebody with more traditional values, work ethic, etc (basically, 1950's America - the shit that everybody reeeeee's against today) because it was the only way a marriage would work for me and my personality.
i bet you carry around a get out of jail free card

"BITCH, YOU ALIVE CUZ OF MY AMERICAN ASS"
KillBoer.jpg
 
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Noodleface

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1. I call bullshit on "You can bang all you want". I'm sure there's a subset of the population for who that's true, but it's far from universal. I definitely get more sex now than before. Plus, it was a lot of fucking work to get into a fresh set of panties.

2. Saving money. Seriously an ex wife may be pretty expensive, but a wife is way cheaper than a girlfriend. Also, with a wife I don't goto strip clubs nearly as much which leaves me more money for my gun collection.

3. She can't be forced to testify against you. You may laugh but this one is an important difference between a wife and a live in girlfriend.

4. Along the same lines as 3, having someone to bounce ideas off and help with your plans.

5. A woman's nesting instinct makes your home better even if it is a pain in the ass. Because of my wife I have my awesome deck and carport now, among many other things.

6. Everyone will have a skillset they bring with them that I can't enumerate here. For instance my wife is a saver. She's basically doing most of the heavy lifting for our retirement savings.


And hey kaine, I was 36 when I got married.



Girls who are squirters say this. Does she feel like she has to pee? You're in for a hell of a ride if she turns out to be a squirter.
I asked her and she said no. She legitimately says it's super intense and dher body can't handle it. I am guessing she's resisting without realizing
 

Gavinmad

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sounds like strapping her to a sybian would either get her off or get you divorced or both.
 
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Aldarion

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Hey guise, do what you want, I'm not trying to sell you on being single. But this thread contains approximately 1690 pages of divorce horror stories, so the "you just need to find the right one", or "you're jaded and bitter" seems kinda weak.
How about "do you want your genetic lineage to go extinct forever, or get married with all its pros and cons?"
 
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Koushirou

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I asked her and she said no. She legitimately says it's super intense and dher body can't handle it. I am guessing she's resisting without realizing

A little TMI, but I've been known to squirt and personally I hate it. I have a huge aversion to getting shit messy so if I feel it coming along, I tend to tense up and just shut it off and from there shit can get super uncomfortable. Sometimes it's also just tensing up from trying to be quiet, since I'm super self-concious and I don't really want our neighbors hearing me screaming or what not. For all I know, I might be missing out on a better time because of it. Over-stimulation is definitely a thing as well, and I know sometimes after having one orgasm, having more stimulus feels absolutely nutty and not pleasant at all, to the point I want to punch and kick my fiance off of me (I try not to, of course). Other times, though, my shit just doesn't work. There's times when I can take a magic wand to myself until my arms go numb, and nothing. Cooters are fuckin' weird, and sometimes it's hard for us to even know what's up with them.
 
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Big_w_powah

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I went through a period of time when my wife had a lot of trouble getting off.

I found a hour long massage not touching anything specifically sexual, just getting close to those zones, then taking it REAL slow helped with that.

Have you tried this method, Noodle?
 
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Lendarios

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The satisfaction you get from being a parent is one of the greatest things about being married. The main reason to get married is for sex, love, family, in that order.

I don't know about you frenzied, but I wanted to be a father since my late 20s. Other guys that I spoken too, they also at some point in time, they experience the need/want to have a kid. It may not be as strong as a female biological reproductive drive, but males do have it too.

I had an hour conversation yesterday with my father about forging steel, my new hobby to watch, and he is a mechanical engineer, so he is very well versed in all the steel tempering processes and the why is one steel harder than others, etc. So at 66 yo, he was explaining metallurgy to his son. I want to be that. I want to be able to teach my son/daughter something I'm passionate about, and marriage and settling down is the safest way of achieving this. Plus the sex and the food and putting up with horrible amount of bullshit, and being a total asshole to her at times. It is all part of the thing.



Also when was the last time you had natural sex? Just penis in vagina, no condom.
 
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Khane

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Okay, but you've told us the stories about your wife. I'll keep using condoms and remain childless thank you very much.
 
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