Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
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My wife looks worse to me in makeup. She's had it professionally done before and I just don't dig it.

Plus side is she doesn't wake up looking like a wrinkled alligator purse
 

lurkingdirk

AssHat Taint
<Medals Crew>
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My wife looks worse to me in makeup. She's had it professionally done before and I just don't dig it.

Plus side is she doesn't wake up looking like a wrinkled alligator purse

My wife doesn't do makeup much, either. She's also hot when she wakes up.

Part of her looks a bit like a wrinkled alligator purse, and I like to stick my dick in there.
 
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Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
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My wife definitely has just the slit. Until I fuck it. Then it's busted ravioli for awhile.

She doesn't smoke or drink so I attribute her young looks to that
 
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iannis

Musty Nester
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I love how guys will,just casually describe their wives junk. Lol.

Mostly it's funny because every woman I've ever met is about as insecure about how her vagina looks as a teenage boy is about his five inches. That tension is just funny to me.

Women will talk mad shi t about a dudes dick.
 
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The_Black_Log Foler

Stock Pals Senior Vice President
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what i will say to my son:

marry a girl who doesn't wear makeup
marry a girl who doesnt wear jewelry
marry a girll who is first your friend
This is good advice. Altho ill say minimal makeup is ok
 

Fogel

Mr. Poopybutthole
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As long as it doesn't look like a bulldog eating mayo it's all good.
 
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The_Black_Log Foler

Stock Pals Senior Vice President
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Yeah, that could work.

The makeup thing isn't just about superficiality. It's about the time involved.
Never thought about that but that's a great point.
 
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Soygen

The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
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My wife wears makeup, albeit quite minimal. No makeup or jewelry is weird. Every single girl I've been with has worn makeup and jewelry. I feel like "don't be a cunt" and "try your best not to be fat" rank far higher on my requirement list.
 
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Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
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Mine normally only wears lipstick. On our wedding day she decided to go with a full fresh coat. Done by her. Don't know why, she told everyone she didn't want makeup and changed her mind at the last minute in the bridal room. If she ever finds this forum she will kill me for saying this, but she looked like a clown. She was even wearing super high heals that were like stilts. I remember the minister saying "isn't she the most beautiful thing you've ever seen" as she walked down the aisle. And I was thinking, jesus christ why did she do that? I need another drink right now.
 
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Khane

Got something right about marriage
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I don't know very many women who wear no makeup at all. I think most men just assume if she doesn't have purple eyeshadow and dark lipstick she's wearing no makeup at all, which isn't usually the case.
 
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Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
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My wife doesn't own makeup for sure. I mean it's not like she's a bombshell, but she's naturally pretty.
 
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Soygen

The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
<Nazi Janitors>
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You could be a bombshell with that guitar, dammit!
 
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