Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Mrs. Gravy

Mrs. Gravy

Quite Saucy
<QUITE SAUCY>
1,696
2,173
Steady is not in competition with a dead man. Steady knows he is not competing with my memories. He is smart enough to know my capacity for love is immeasurable. I still have occasional feelings of grief ...similar to a post trauma event...I acknowledge them, give thanks for my experiences...let him know why I may be melancholy so he does not have to try and fucking guess and move on. This is healthy and to be expected. My marriage shaped me, his relationships shaped him...we both understand this and choose to be grateful we found one another. I love him. The love is different and wonderful. He calls me "The Complete Package". He is right.
 
  • 6Like
Reactions: 5 users
Khane

Khane

Got something right about marriage
19,815
13,330
Tarrant said:
I'd like to say I'd know how to deal with the person I was with crying and who still loved their deceased husband. I'd like to say I'd be totally fine and supportitive and I really do think I would be, but there's probably a small part of me that would be jealous. I hate to admit that, but I'm human I guess. Not used to being with someone who would be with someone else if that person were still around.
Click to expand...

 
Lanx

Lanx

<Prior Amod>
60,535
132,456
yeahthatisneathuh said:
Mine has poor girl syndrome. Sometimes I have to tell her it's okay to get some nice work shoes or something. "Really??? BUT THEY'RE FIFTY DOLLARS."
Click to expand...

i tell my wife just to shop on amazon, we had a work event and she needed a dress, i said buy 4 on a amazon, shit came the next day or 2, she liked 1 returned 3. But she does have a lot of shoes, 3 closetsful and one hang over the door.
 
Alex

Alex

Still a Music Elitist
14,496
7,409
If I've learned anything from this thread, it's to take everything Khane posts 100% seriously.
 
  • 3Worf
  • 1Like
Reactions: 3 users
Denaut

Denaut

Trump's Staff
2,739
1,279
Captain Suave said:
What model do you use? I have one but the filter consistently lets grounds around the edge no matter how gently I press. Coffee is always gritty.
Click to expand...

Just an insulated one that came with the future wife, Bodum I think. As others have said you need a coarse grind for it to work properly, fortunately they are pretty popular here so you can buy it anywhere (even the supermarket) with the right grind. If you can't do that then drip is a way better option. I just find it really convenient to pour near boiling water into the press and 4 minutes later have just the right amount of coffee with minimal hassle and clean up. It helps that water boils really quickly in an electric kettle with 220 coming out of the wall.

I think if I splurged I would still use the press, but just with a fancy burr grinder and whole beans. You can't really beat freshly ground whole beans for taste-cost value, no matter how you actually brew it.

Edit: My fiance frequently uses one of these (Travel Press) which is super convenient and even faster than stopping for a coffee at a café. It is a mug with a built in press so you just toss in the grinds, hot water, whatever else and head out the door. You can let it brew on your way to wherever, and it only takes 4 minutes.
 
Last edited:
  • 2Like
Reactions: 1 users
Noodleface

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
37,961
14,508
Lanx said:
i tell my wife just to shop on amazon, we had a work event and she needed a dress, i said buy 4 on a amazon, shit came the next day or 2, she liked 1 returned 3. But she does have a lot of shoes, 3 closetsful and one hang over the door.
Click to expand...
Thank God my wife isn't into shoes

The only time she wears heels are weddings/funerals or when we fuck
 
  • 2Worf
  • 1Quality Calories
  • 1Like
Reactions: 3 users
Cutlery

Cutlery

Kill All the White People
<Gold Donor>
6,376
17,725
Noodleface said:
Sorry man, I don't think we knew it was that bad until you started posting about it.
Click to expand...

Meh, everyone has issues, kinda pointless to dwell on stuff, so I tried to forget about it. The thing that sucks is not noticing how far off the deep end the relationship went because i kept making excuses for her horseshit behavior.

Sometimes it really is as simple as she doesn't respect you and feels entitled to shit she hasn't earned in any way. Guys tend to have this habit of believing that she really is a partner and on our side at all times, even when she's just a parasite and self serving and doesn't give a fuck about you beyond superficial bullshit.

We bought her a car in 2011, I paid it off in the summer of 2013 because I hate having car payments. In the early part of 2014, a guy came to the door to repo it. Hey honey, why is this dipshit trying to repossess the car I paid off?

"Oh, uhh, I may have opened a credit card secured by the car. And then haven't paid it in 6 months."

What do you do? If I let them take the car, now I'm responsible for driving around my retard wife and both kids. If I pay the shit off, I'm bailing her out and there's no consequences for her actions.

In hindsight, I should have divorced her right then and there, but if youve been with someone for 15 years, you give them the benefit of the doubt a lot and want to believe it's just isolated incidents. Not everyday is shitty, so why focus on the shitty days?
 
  • 2Thoughts & Prayers
  • 2Like
Reactions: 3 users
Lanx

Lanx

<Prior Amod>
60,535
132,456
Denaut said:
Just an insulated one that came with the future wife, Bodum I think. As others have said you need a coarse grind for it to work properly, fortunately they are pretty popular here so you can buy it anywhere (even the supermarket) with the right grind. If you can't do that then drip is a way better option. I just find it really convenient to pour near boiling water into the press and 4 minutes later have just the right amount of coffee with minimal hassle and clean up. It helps that water boils really quickly in an electric kettle with 220 coming out of the wall.

I think if I splurged I would still use the press, but just with a fancy burr grinder and whole beans. You can't really beat freshly ground whole beans for taste-cost value, no matter how you actually brew it.

Edit: My fiance frequently uses one of these (Travel Press) which is super convenient and even faster than stopping for a coffee at a café. It is a mug with a built in press so you just toss in the grinds, hot water, whatever else and head out the door. You can let it brew on your way to wherever, and it only takes 4 minutes.
Click to expand...
i don't know about you, but after losing my 3rd glass bodum i've switched to this French Press Coffee Maker - French Coffee Press - Double Walled 32 oz Espresso & Tea Maker - 100% Stainless Steel - by Utopia Kitchen

i don't even use it for coffee (i hate french press), it's for tea.
 
Soygen

Soygen

The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
<Nazi Janitors>
28,324
43,158
Noodleface said:
Thank God my wife isn't into shoes

The only time she wears heels are weddings/funerals or when we fuck
Click to expand...
Mine is very much into shoes. Our closet is like 10% my clothes, 40% her clothes, 50% her shoes. I can't hate, though. I just spent 4 grand on a new PC and desk.
 
  • 1Like
Reactions: 1 user
Noodleface

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
37,961
14,508
Soygen said:
Mine is very much into shoes. Our closet is like 10% my clothes, 40% her clothes, 50% her shoes. I can't hate, though. I just spent 4 grand on a new PC and desk.
Click to expand...
The problem is my wife doesn't make big purchases. She's always saving money for the kids. It's good, but when I want to spend it's bad.

Getting her to buy a new pair of jeans is this huge ordeal where she'll finally give up and claim she doesn't really need them. She lives like I'm a part time fast food worker supporting our family, when I'm making six figures. I think maybe my income moved faster than she expected and hasn't adjusted.

We also come from lower-middle class families, so part of it is ingrained in her head that "we don't have money".. but we do.
 
Denaut

Denaut

Trump's Staff
2,739
1,279
Lanx said:
i don't know about you, but after losing my 3rd glass bodum i've switched to this French Press Coffee Maker - French Coffee Press - Double Walled 32 oz Espresso & Tea Maker - 100% Stainless Steel - by Utopia Kitchen

i don't even use it for coffee (i hate french press), it's for tea.
Click to expand...

You are totally right, Bodum is generally overpriced junk, I don't really recommend any of the stuff they make. The one you posted looks solid, and is much cheaper. I Googled around and the one we have is actually a Stelton, which is another overpriced Danish brand, so my confusion is understandable :D But at least it isn't made of glass.
 
Soygen

Soygen

The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
<Nazi Janitors>
28,324
43,158
Noodleface said:
The problem is my wife doesn't make big purchases. She's always saving money for the kids. It's good, but when I want to spend it's bad.

Getting her to buy a new pair of jeans is this huge ordeal where she'll finally give up and claim she doesn't really need them. She lives like I'm a part time fast food worker supporting our family, when I'm making six figures. I think maybe my income moved faster than she expected and hasn't adjusted.

We also come from lower-middle class families, so part of it is ingrained in her head that "we don't have money".. but we do.
Click to expand...
Sounds like you need to convince her that you're not dirt poor and can afford a bit of splurging. I'm not a big spender, but every once in a while you gotta' enjoy your money. I'm putting so much into retirement, college for my daughter and investments that I often feel like I'm robbing myself of fun now. April is bonus time at work and you bet your ass I'm going to spend some of it every year!
 
  • 1Like
Reactions: 1 user
lurkingdirk

lurkingdirk

AssHat Taint
<Medals Crew>
40,604
171,651
I'm not a big spender, but when I do decide to do something, it can be expensive. When we bought this house and property, for example, I needed to buy a tractor, and then a rear bucket digger, and a bushhog. My wife didn't blink, because she trusted this was a good investment.

Since we've lived here, I've built several out buildings. Also not cheap. Each time I discussed it with my wife, she didn't question it. Because she trusts me.

I think with money trust is a pretty big part of things. Being involved in the finances and knowing what's up allows you to be in the know. If you're in the know, your spouse should trust you unless you've proved to be an idiot with money. If your spouse tells you that you can't buy a guitar, she doesn't trust you have a handle on the finances. Challenge that.
 
  • 2Like
Reactions: 1 users
Lanx

Lanx

<Prior Amod>
60,535
132,456
lurkingdirk said:
I'm not a big spender, but when I do decide to do something, it can be expensive. When we bought this house and property, for example, I needed to buy a tractor, and then a rear bucket digger, and a bushhog. My wife didn't blink, because she trusted this was a good investment.

Since we've lived here, I've built several out buildings. Also not cheap. Each time I discussed it with my wife, she didn't question it. Because she trusts me.

I think with money trust is a pretty big part of things. Being involved in the finances and knowing what's up allows you to be in the know. If you're in the know, your spouse should trust you unless you've proved to be an idiot with money. If your spouse tells you that you can't buy a guitar, she doesn't trust you have a handle on the finances. Challenge that.
Click to expand...

yea my wife never questions anything i buy, i mean of course i'll be like "yo, you wanted a home office, so like it'll be about $$$" and shes like "whatever". Recently she got out of the car in the garage and noticed the two peg boards and all the tools i put up (i'm sure the yellow ryobi caught her eye, and i told her to park outside a few times, i'd pull the car in myself), she's like "what the heck is all this?", i'm like "we have a house now, we need tools for shit", she's like "ok then"

there's nothing wrong with her going "wth is all this", it's good to question, and when i give an answer, she knows i've done my due diligence. It's no different than me coming home and opening a big box full of skin care and shit. i mean i know thats what is needed for her to be a girl, so i ain't saying shit cuz i don't care for the details, but i know she needs it and has sourced reasoning.
 
  • 2Like
Reactions: 1 users
Oblio

Oblio

Utah
<Gold Donor>
11,274
24,065
lurkingdirk said:
I'm not a big spender, but when I do decide to do something, it can be expensive. When we bought this house and property, for example, I needed to buy a tractor, and then a rear bucket digger, and a bushhog. My wife didn't blink, because she trusted this was a good investment.

Since we've lived here, I've built several out buildings. Also not cheap. Each time I discussed it with my wife, she didn't question it. Because she trusts me.

I think with money trust is a pretty big part of things. Being involved in the finances and knowing what's up allows you to be in the know. If you're in the know, your spouse should trust you unless you've proved to be an idiot with money. If your spouse tells you that you can't buy a guitar, she doesn't trust you have a handle on the finances. Challenge that.
Click to expand...
This x1000!

When Cutlery Cutlery was talking about his Wife using a paid off car as collateral without his knowledge, let alone consent, I was dumbfounded. I cannot imagine a world where my Wife or I spend over a few hundred dollars without the other's knowledge, but to apply for credit is like a whole different level! Not trying to talk shit at Cutlery Cutlery , but I would have hard time with what he described.
 
  • 1Like
  • 1Worf
Reactions: 1 users
You must log in or register to reply here.