Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Damn, just found our my ex gf started dating another guy 3 months after breaking up. Sux cuz I ended it over distance not making the relationship feasible at the time and told her I really wanted to revisit this at the right time.

Lo and fucking behold I have an interview with a company in her country, just had a recruiter reach out. Now she's dating some Aussie trash that's like 8 years younger than her..

Broke it off in October and just talked to her for the first time in a few months. Said she assumed I had been dating, this is of course after she asked me to tell her if I started dating again, which I would have.

Dating is retarded.

Oblio said:

This x1000!

When Cutlery was talking about his Wife using a paid off car as collateral without his knowledge, let alone consent, I was dumbfounded. I cannot imagine a world where my Wife or I spend over a few hundred dollars without the other's knowledge, but to apply for credit is like a whole different level! Not trying to talk shit at Cutlery , but I would have hard time with what he described.

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Oh, I didn't have an easy time with it either, but again...what do you do? At the time, I had a 2 year old and a 12 year old.

She felt she was entitled to do whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted. Which, I kinda get, but then you're also responsible for the consequences. She always managed to skirt the consequences because she knew I'd take care of them.

My friends would phrase it like this - "she's been abusing your integrity for years." She knew I would never let anything bad happen, and I'd fix the mess.

Well, now someone else can.

iannis said:

Well, you've got to get her again. It's be easy enough to get your feelings hurt over that, but dont. That shows a spirit that you want in a woman.

You can be confident that when she's with you It's because she chooses to be. What's better than that?

SHE LOVES ME FOR ME

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Ya. Honestly it's just complicated. She can't travel to the U.S. due to her citizenship. I have a 2nd round interview with a company in her country/city, totally didn't even intend for it to happen. That's why it's been on my mind. It may be best to just not worry about it unless I get a job offer because if I don't, I just don't see any way I'd move to her city/country (it's in the M.E. and not necessarily a burgeoning tech hub)

Without going into detail new guy has a similar hobby of hers and he's an instructor in it so you know, shiny new things.

I'm just sulking. I think it's worth revisiting your idea iannis if I get an offer. Otherwise it's a moot point and that's life.

iannis said:

Well, you've got to get her again. It's be easy enough to get your feelings hurt over that, but dont. That shows a spirit that you want in a woman.

You can be confident that when she's with you It's because she chooses to be. What's better than that?

SHE LOVES ME FOR ME

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But just for a what if scenario LOL. Are you saying continue to pursue her even if she seems uninterested? I feel like that gives off cuck vibe?

yeahthatisneathuh said:

Not necessarily cuck but fucking stupid. Don't waste time on people who don't want to be with you as much as you with them. I wasted years of my life doing that. It was such a refreshing change when I met mine when she just casually stayed around in my life while dating and I didn't have to chase her or feel like I had to impress her at every turn or she'd hop on another dick.

In other news, my wife has gotten super into trading blow jobs for things and hot damn, I do not mind. I banned stupid fucking reality shows unless she uses headphones and she traded a blowjob for a one day reprieve to be able to watch it full volume with me around.

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Ya man. So true. This is why I hate dating. Lots of games.

iannis said:

I dunno man, you told her that it wasn't gonna work out because of the distance. So she went to find a new dude.

I can't see a reason to take that personally. If you're still interested, don't be a shit head. Just tell her you're coming back and you're still interested.

If she says no she says no. But if she does look her straight in the eye and say "well. That fucking sucks".

hookers and blow time!

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Yep. Totally agree. I don't fault her for moving on I mean it was my call and it was what I wanted for her. I think it's just the potential job bringing back the "what if." Solid advice.

Noodleface said:

I have sex with my wife more times in a day than most men do in a year. Checkmate atheists

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Most? So there are still some guys having sex with your wife more times a year than you do in a day?

Joking aside, I'm gonna say this, Noodle...

Don't let sex make up for bad behavior. Bad behavior is bad behavior. Not respecting you is still not respecting you, even if she puts out.

Sex was never the problem in my marriage. We fucked constantly, probably averaging 3+ times a week throughout all the ups and downs over 18 and a half years. Some weeks were slow, yeah, but we also had Saturdays where we didn't get out of bed.

And I can say that this was the biggest mistake I made - I let sex make up for all of the bullshit I've described (and so much more). Sex is easy, never trade that much power or respect for it. I fucked 6 women last year and I slept on a couch for 5 months. I'm not even that good looking...I'm just tall, in decent shape, have a job and a house. You can get sex these days, it's easier than it's ever been.

You can't get back the respect once she starts treating you like shit. She will know you're a doormat and keep doing it.