Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Sutekh

Blackwing Lair Raider
7,489
106
Haven't you ever seen Dexter? It takes about 20 seconds to plastic up the entire room, then about 4 minutes to taunt you before she kills you, then about 8 seconds to chop you up, clean up, put everything in her minivan, drive to her boat, and dump you in the ocean.
I've spent the past couple nights laying awake in bed thinking this over. She's going to have to be really deceptive to get any type of equipment into the room that is going to be able to restrain me, especially on such short notice. She's got no idea how the rooms are setup so whatever she decides on is probably going to be loose. Now her best play is going to be to just shoot me and kill me there, if she tries any torture stuff she's going to have a really tough time, for the reasons stated previously.

At the very best if she's truly a sick fuck, she'll have to sedate me while I'm already asleep, somehow restrain me perfectly AFTER laying down the plastic, then somehow still manage to chop me up while I don't scream or get help. All of this while trying to move me. I'm 200 pounds and she's probably a buck 10.

Her chances for murdering me and actually getting away with it, do not look good to say the least.
 

Soygen

The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
<Nazi Janitors>
28,326
43,170
My advice is to murder her first, just in case. Let me know if you need any help.
 

Sutekh

Blackwing Lair Raider
7,489
106
No that wont work, I'm a lover not a fighter. This is why I've accepted my fate and said my goodbyes to everyone already.
 

Phazael

Confirmed Beta Shitlord, Fat Bastard
<Aristocrat╭ರ_•́>
14,159
30,343
Plus she can just use the Bass-o-matic to do all the chopping.
 

Gravy

Bronze Squire
4,918
454
No that wont work, I'm a lover not a fighter. This is why I've accepted my fate and said my goodbyes to everyone already.
Does she know this? She's probably sitting there talking withherfriends about all the ways you'll kill/rape/pillage her.
 

Sutekh

Blackwing Lair Raider
7,489
106
Does she know this? She's probably sitting there talking withherfriends about all the ways you'll kill/rape/pillage her.
I like to keep the mystery up, will I kill her, wont I kill her? She wont know until it's too late.
 

Soygen

The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
<Nazi Janitors>
28,326
43,170
That'syour attempt to improve the quality of this thread?
 

iannis

Musty Nester
31,351
17,656
I'm meeting a dude in a motel later, he thinks it's for sex, but really, I'm just going to murder him. He thinks I'm a tiny chick, it should be easy.
I'm trying to run through exactly how awkward that encounter would be.

Both ways, the one with you showing up to murder Suk is funny. But the one where he actually meets a chick for some motel strange is also funny.

So like, do you get there first strip down and order up some motel porn while you wait on her and when she knocks on the door fling it open and scream, "YOU ARE OVERDRESSED. GET THAT JIGGLY LITTLE ASS IN HERE WOMAN"

Cause I really can't think of any way to make that less awkward besides for going full retard.
 

Sutekh

Blackwing Lair Raider
7,489
106
I'm trying to run through exactly how awkward that encounter would be.

Both ways, the one with you showing up to murder Suk is funny. But the one where he actually meets a chick for some motel strange is also funny.

So like, do you get there first strip down and order up some motel porn while you wait on her and when she knocks on the door fling it open and scream, "YOU ARE OVERDRESSED. GET THAT JIGGLY LITTLE ASS IN HERE WOMAN"

Cause I really can't think of any way to make that less awkward besides for going full retard.
1QQwLTR.jpg


She's not one of J49's hookers, we're not meeting to just have sex. If you can't think of a scenario where two friends meet up and do things together then I'm not really sure what to tell ya.

Also I'm not some poor bitch, this isn't a motel it's a 5 star place.