Onoes
Trakanon Raider
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Read the post, seems pretty clear how it went over.
She's very cool, and I like her a lot. /shrug
Marriage and the Power of Divorce
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She's very cool, and I like her a lot. /shrug
TJT
Mr. Poopybutthole
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Well Gang, this one is a doozy and I haven't been able to rightly process it myself yet. But since I don't really want to tell anyone just yet. I'm going to say it here, I would honestly appreciate your input.
My Girlfriend and I have been dating for the last 4 years. Anniversary would be in April. Now, she is Latina and our relationship has always been a little tempestuous due to her temper, slightly crazy, etc. But over time these things grow on you and I learned to like them too. When at first they just annoyed me. We've had our problems as all relationships do, but we were getting close to the whole "lets do the family thing" and I was finally beginning to look forward to it. We do live together in a 2BR Apt and were in the process of house hunting.
Now the current situation has me in utter shock. We've had a slightly open relationship and allow flings while on business trips and what have you. Its never been a problem and we always talk about them. This past week SXSW has been going on in Austin and she got her employer to purchase tickets for her for "research" purposes. Which I thought was pretty cool, although it was in our city fling rules were in effect for it. We talked about it, it was no problem. Even on Sunday everything was normal. So on Tuesday morning she tells me she is overcapacity and we'll talk a bit later. I thought nothing of it. Then she starts acting funny and telling me weird shit about being stressed not having much time to complete work, etc.
Yesterday I got this bomb. So on Friday she met some Australian guy (she had mentioned him to me) and he went to NYC the next day. They were together on Monday in Austin and then he moved on to something else because he is on vacation and partying it up (obviously). Girlfriend tells me she is hopelessly in love with this guy and knows she can't be with him and that he doesn't even like her really. Now she is heartbroken over it and... wait for it... "Wants to be friends?"
What in the fuck?
We don't have kids, minimal shared assets. Its just a complete and utter shock and if you had told me this on Thursday last week I wouldn't have believed you in a thousand fucking years. Is this just some fem crazy I should wait out? She's known for crazy shit, but NOTHING like this. Truly at a loss for words over all of it. Part of me wants to start finding my own place and all that shit and part of me says to just wait it out.
Thoughts?
My Girlfriend and I have been dating for the last 4 years. Anniversary would be in April. Now, she is Latina and our relationship has always been a little tempestuous due to her temper, slightly crazy, etc. But over time these things grow on you and I learned to like them too. When at first they just annoyed me. We've had our problems as all relationships do, but we were getting close to the whole "lets do the family thing" and I was finally beginning to look forward to it. We do live together in a 2BR Apt and were in the process of house hunting.
Now the current situation has me in utter shock. We've had a slightly open relationship and allow flings while on business trips and what have you. Its never been a problem and we always talk about them. This past week SXSW has been going on in Austin and she got her employer to purchase tickets for her for "research" purposes. Which I thought was pretty cool, although it was in our city fling rules were in effect for it. We talked about it, it was no problem. Even on Sunday everything was normal. So on Tuesday morning she tells me she is overcapacity and we'll talk a bit later. I thought nothing of it. Then she starts acting funny and telling me weird shit about being stressed not having much time to complete work, etc.
Yesterday I got this bomb. So on Friday she met some Australian guy (she had mentioned him to me) and he went to NYC the next day. They were together on Monday in Austin and then he moved on to something else because he is on vacation and partying it up (obviously). Girlfriend tells me she is hopelessly in love with this guy and knows she can't be with him and that he doesn't even like her really. Now she is heartbroken over it and... wait for it... "Wants to be friends?"
What in the fuck?
We don't have kids, minimal shared assets. Its just a complete and utter shock and if you had told me this on Thursday last week I wouldn't have believed you in a thousand fucking years. Is this just some fem crazy I should wait out? She's known for crazy shit, but NOTHING like this. Truly at a loss for words over all of it. Part of me wants to start finding my own place and all that shit and part of me says to just wait it out.
Thoughts?
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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Big Phoenix
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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Eject. She clearly can't abide by rules and boundaries so stop wasting your time with her, especially if she has a while host of other issues.
though consider in the future its akin to winning the lottery to find another person who can be a sane functioning person that is also into open relationships.
though consider in the future its akin to winning the lottery to find another person who can be a sane functioning person that is also into open relationships.
TJT
Mr. Poopybutthole
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We started dating at 24 (28 now), the Open Relationship thing I don't care about really (very rarely made use of it). More of the youthful fun/whatever than something I actually give a shit about. Just quite depressing as we had been through a lot together. Tough times, finding excellent work, which had meant a lot to me. But such is life I suppose?
iannis
Musty Nester
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Eject. If she's doing this shit to you after 4 years... just eject.
That's not a spanish thing. That's not an open relationship thing. That's an immature slut thing.
She is literally using you to pay the rent. Maybe it's no malicious. Maybe it's not even intentional. But it's what she's doing.
That's not a spanish thing. That's not an open relationship thing. That's an immature slut thing.
She is literally using you to pay the rent. Maybe it's no malicious. Maybe it's not even intentional. But it's what she's doing.
J C. You need the Master or Measter, can't remember his name. Open relationship pitfalls. Wrong thread.
Famm
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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Consider it a get out of jail free card. You can either bail on this shit now and this is the worst that happened or the same sort of thing would have happened to you down the road with a marriage and kids chained to your life. Walk away and don't look back, there's no other good decision.
TJT
Mr. Poopybutthole
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It really isn't about money or using me. We both make excellent money. I'll be looking at places over the weekend and working out how to get free of the lease we're currently on. Just unexpected is all.
And we were nowhere near on the level of the Master. Never side-girlfriends or anything. Just ignoring anything that might have gone on while one of us was away for whatever reason. What happens in X stays in X kind of thing.
And we were nowhere near on the level of the Master. Never side-girlfriends or anything. Just ignoring anything that might have gone on while one of us was away for whatever reason. What happens in X stays in X kind of thing.
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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Not to rag on the dude again, but your girlfriend's reaction to the new guy reminded me of Onoes a bit. Just met the guy and already was "all in". That's why I called her immature. Open relationships can work, but not like that.
Soygen
The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
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How long ago did she meet him? From TJT's post, it sounded like she has met him before and didn'tjustmeet him. If anything, it seems like she recognizes she formed those feelings and ended the relationship. Carrying on and lying about it would be more immature, if you ask me.
Either way, it sucks when it's unexpected like that. Sorry, TJT.
Either way, it sucks when it's unexpected like that. Sorry, TJT.
iannis
Musty Nester
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I mean, I hate to go all redpill and shit.
But if ever there was a friend-plz support me while I go gobble cocks-zone it would have a picture of your face right in the middle of it.
Abort. Abort. She's even giving you an easy out. I think Master is hypnotizing someone, so I'll fill in. Open relationships are about mutual respect. I'm not hearing a lot of respect, and I'm not hearing a lot of mutual. What I'm hearing is a four year fuckbuddy.
But if ever there was a friend-plz support me while I go gobble cocks-zone it would have a picture of your face right in the middle of it.
Abort. Abort. She's even giving you an easy out. I think Master is hypnotizing someone, so I'll fill in. Open relationships are about mutual respect. I'm not hearing a lot of respect, and I'm not hearing a lot of mutual. What I'm hearing is a four year fuckbuddy.
TJT
Mr. Poopybutthole
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Again, the reason this was so unexpected is because we have both done exact the same thing many many times over the past three years. To the point that I thought nothing of it when she brought it up and I have done the same, although less this past eight months or so than before.
I'm no fool, I'll bail. It just sucks. And it was never about support, we both make a lot of money. It really is not about supporting someone who isn't working.
I'm no fool, I'll bail. It just sucks. And it was never about support, we both make a lot of money. It really is not about supporting someone who isn't working.
Soygen
The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
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Yeah, TJT doesn't even really sound like he's into the open part for his own benefit.
TJ, was she the one who suggested the open relationship?
I personally don't think I could do the open relationship. I would simply just bang every chick I had the opportunity to and would probably get upset about it when my girlfriend did it. I'm selfish like that, I guess. I think there are rare exceptions where those kinds of relationships are healthy and work great, but for the most part, one partner will always want more than the other. This is often true in monogamous relationships, but adding more sexual partners makes it even more complicated.
TJ, was she the one who suggested the open relationship?
I personally don't think I could do the open relationship. I would simply just bang every chick I had the opportunity to and would probably get upset about it when my girlfriend did it. I'm selfish like that, I guess. I think there are rare exceptions where those kinds of relationships are healthy and work great, but for the most part, one partner will always want more than the other. This is often true in monogamous relationships, but adding more sexual partners makes it even more complicated.
