Marriage and the Power of Divorce

a_skeleton_03_sl said:

I was all about to go into this Noodle did something terrible by drinking that much, then I remembered he said he has some kind of diabetic issue and he isn't taking his meds for it and alcohol only worsens the issue. Now I really am going to ride him for it.

WTF man, you have a family, this isn't a little over drunk. You aren't taking your meds and you pull a stunt like this also? Man to man, stop that shit. If we were in the same room I would punch you in the gut and put you in a headlock when you bent over in pain and tell you that next time I will knock you out at the party to solve the problem. You would know that I am serious because we are bros. since you don't seem to have a real bro in your life take what we are saying seriously. You are an adult now, don't go that far again.

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Oh christ...

Yeah man I outlined it in the health thread. I did some stupid shit. I barely ever get drunk, I was enabled by a lot of people, I made conscious decisions to overdo it too much. I mean here I am owning up to it. I'm not even complaining about my wife being pissed, you guys are.

I made a mistake and almost paid for it with my life. I just wanted you all to know it happened and I'm back at the doctors sorting it out.

Picasso_sl said:

I've jogged down the interstate, slept in a flowerbed on the Boulevard, broke in and slept in the wrong house in Florida, and slept under an underpass, but never have i puked on myself or been taken to the ER.

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This sounds familiar.

Noodle, don't over worry about this. You fucked up, life moves on, take steps to see it doesn't happen that way again.

Picasso_sl said:

I've jogged down the interstate, slept in a flowerbed on the Boulevard, broke in and slept in the wrong house in Florida, and slept under an underpass, but never have i puked on myself or been taken to the ER.

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All of these things sound worse than a little throwup or being taken to the ER to sleep it off. And jogging down an interstate or breaking into the wrong house sounds infinitely more dangerous. In all of these instances you were drunk enough you could have gotten yourself killed so what kind of point were you trying to prove here exactly?

I was baiting out all the pussies that don't know how to party.

I do weddings wrong apparently. Even with the open bar and all that nonsense, I rarely overindulge. In fact I usually keep it pretty tame. Drunk nights like that come out of nowhere for me. It doesn't even have to be a weekend night. I typically know because there's a trail of clothes leading directly from the door to my bed. I immediately check my bank statement.

I work with a bunch of professional drunks. Everyone is a functioning alcoholic in software/technology sales, from the SEs to the reps to management. We had our annual conference a few weeks ago, hosting 3000ppl and the entire sales staff basically got wasted every night drinking from 5 to 2. But being pros, very little puking (none in public!) and everyone still was up at 8AM for the start. Kind of disturbing when you think about it.

Picasso_sl said:

I've jogged down the interstate, slept in a flowerbed on the Boulevard, broke in and slept in the wrong house in Florida, and slept under an underpass, but never have i puked on myself or been taken to the ER.

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I've personally made it a policy to not puke on myself. Instead, I much prefer to puke on things that other people cherish. Maybe their favorite piece of art work. Or their pets. Perhaps even one of their body parts, preferably clothed in expensive garments.

ER though? Nah. Nah. Only time anyone I've known has gone to the ER was this stupid bitch at a bush party when we were 14. She was super skinny and went around drinking the bottoms of everyone's beers (again, 14), and then chugged half a liter of whiskey or rum or something. We got her back to a nearby house, and the stupid chick had forgotten to tell everyone that her dad was picking her up at 8pm or whatever it was. So naturally we pull up on the driveway with her in the back and her dad's parked on the street.

"Where's my daughter?"

"Uh, folded up in a blanket covered in vomit in the back of the minivan."

"WHO RAPED HER?!?!"

She was fine. She's a doctor now! In any case, her dad had her stomach pumped, checked for rape, all that fun stuff. We didn't see her other than at school for the better part of a year.

But seriously, you have to be pretty irresponsible to actually go to the ER for alcohol consumption unless you're a diabetic or some shit. Wait, read further down, he does have some sort of diabetic issue? You're a dumb shit, bro.

Soygen_sl said:

See, that's why I've made sure to be black out drunk almost every weekend around my girlfriend. You gotta' set the precedent to avoid these embarrassing situations.

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In the three years I've been dating the special lady friend, she's gotten incredibly drunk three times. We're talking covering the inside of a cab with vomit and me having to give him $200 just to get us home drunk (he was actually pretty good about it, I'd have taken the $200 and kicked us out anyway). I take it in stride and laugh it off. But god forbid I get a wee bit drunk and make a couple inappropriate jokes/comments from time to time. Then it's the end of the goddamn world.

Well.. The ER wasn't my choice and I wasn't really at the point where i needed the ER. If I was in my house I would've been fine, just no one could move me. The good thing is it bitch slapped me back to reality.. Don't self medicate.

Also I get drunk like twice a year, so there's that.

Bro, if you're diabetic you get drunk 0 times a year. Get used to it.

a_skeleton_03_sl said:

If we were in the same room I would punch you in the gut and put you in a headlock when you bent over in pain and tell you that next time I will knock you out at the party to solve the problem.

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And he'd have the most raging boner the whole time.

CnCGOD_sl said:

I work with a bunch of professional drunks. Everyone is a functioning alcoholic in software/technology sales, from the SEs to the reps to management. We had our annual conference a few weeks ago, hosting 3000ppl and the entire sales staff basically got wasted every night drinking from 5 to 2. But being pros, very little puking (none in public!) and everyone still was up at 8AM for the start. Kind of disturbing when you think about it.

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Do we work together?