Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Omi43221 · Apr 17, 2017

Feien said:
Here's potentially some upcoming drama...

Girlfriend is visiting for a couple of weeks (Transatlantic Long Distance Relationship), and I think I'm done. Not because there is necessarily anything wrong with her, or because of a specific situation, we're just very different. We really haven't had many major issues in our 7 month relationship really, I've just come to the conclusion that we are just not compatible for the long run. My gut is screaming we wouldn't be happy if we tried, and has been for a while now.

She's still has 10 days left here. I'm not sure if I should break it up to her as soon as possible and let her decide what to do, or wait closer to the end of her visit, or wait till she's gone. Though the last one may sound like a douchey thing to do, part of me believes that would be the easiest on her, since I think she's gonna have a hard time with the news, not only because she really does loves me, but I believe she thinks I may even want to propose sometime in the next few months (though we haven't talked about it specifically)

I've been thinking about this one. Not only should you not wait till after she leaves, you can't wait till the last day either. The big thing women hate is thinking the only reason you are with them is to stick your dick in them and everything else was a lie. Don't leave her with that impression. Make sure it's clear you like her, you saw potential but this just isn't exactly what you are looking for. Also if she tries to change your mind with sex make it quite clear that it isn't going to change your mind. (No matter how kinky she gets)

Heallun · Apr 17, 2017

lurkingdirk said:
Today my wife... Outstanding.

edit: Oh and about

Feien girlfriend issues, I'm weak and have been guilted into staying in a relationship I knew would not work and we both ended up the worse for it. Lay out your feelings, intentions (breakup) day 1 but if you're going to try the friend route give her a nice time while she's there. She came a long goddamn way. It's hard to be supportive during a breakup with a raging erection but you've just got to be strong on this one.

Big_w_powah · Apr 17, 2017

Omi43221 said:
I've been thinking about this one. Not only should you not wait till after she leaves, you can't wait till the last day either. The big thing women hate is thinking the only reason you are with them is to stick your dick in them and everything else was a lie. Don't leave her with that impression. Make sure it's clear you like her, you saw potential but this just exactly what you are looking for. Also if she tries to change your mind with sex make it quite clear that it isn't going to change your mind. (No matter how kinky she gets)

I just want to add: If you make it clear sex won't change your mind and its breakup town regardless, and she still wants the D? Fair game, play ball.

Cutlery · Apr 17, 2017

Feien said:
Here's potentially some upcoming drama...

Girlfriend is visiting for a couple of weeks (Transatlantic Long Distance Relationship), and I think I'm done. Not because there is necessarily anything wrong with her, or because of a specific situation, we're just very different. We really haven't had many major issues in our 7 month relationship really, I've just come to the conclusion that we are just not compatible for the long run. My gut is screaming we wouldn't be happy if we tried, and has been for a while now.

She's still has 10 days left here. I'm not sure if I should break it up to her as soon as possible and let her decide what to do, or wait closer to the end of her visit, or wait till she's gone. Though the last one may sound like a douchey thing to do, part of me believes that would be the easiest on her, since I think she's gonna have a hard time with the news, not only because she really does loves me, but I believe she thinks I may even want to propose sometime in the next few months (though we haven't talked about it specifically)

Unlike most other people here, I completely disagree.

There's gonna be breakup emotions whether you do it while she's here or not. She's gonna be pissed, her week is gonna be ruined, and hell, she might go crazy.

Do it when she gets home. Fuck all this "it's the right thing to do" shit. A woman would do it to you. They don't want to have to justify their reasons for breaking up to your face. Furthermore, if she does go crazy, you want her going crazy on the other side of the pond, not where you're at.

Source - recipient of crazy breakup.

LulzSect · Apr 17, 2017

Feien

I was reluctant to answer but I also agree the better move is to have a nice time with her (while bangin her out) for the rest of the trip until she goes back overseas. For all you know, she might be planning the same break-up move upon departure. May as well get some guaranteed pussy before it's gone forever.

:smuggly:

moonarchia · Apr 17, 2017

Oh, thought she was already over here. Feien, tell her now so she can get her money back if possible.

Feien · Apr 18, 2017

moonarchia said:
Oh, thought she was already over here. Feien, tell her now so she can get her money back if possible.

She IS already here. Has been here for 8 days and 8 more to go. We've had a couple of long conversations these last couple of nights that I think will ease into me fully telling her how I feel rather than coming off as a complete surprise, so that has been a bit helpful. I'm still buying my time and trying to figure out the best course of action. I'm leaning on telling her 1 or 2 days before she leaves unless it somehow comes up before that. I hate the idea of her time left here and the flight back to be miserable, but I also have enough respect for her to not be sincere to her face to face. I truly have no idea how she'll end up reacting. I would hope she would understand and respect my decision, but just like most girls, her emotions can be very unpredictable at times.

TrollfaceDeux · Apr 18, 2017

ur fuked

iannis · Apr 18, 2017

Feien said:
She IS already here. Has been here for 8 days and 8 more to go. We've had a couple of long conversations these last couple of nights that I think will ease into me fully telling her how I feel rather than coming off as a complete surprise, so that has been a bit helpful. I'm still buying my time and trying to figure out the best course of action. I'm leaning on telling her 1 or 2 days before she leaves unless it somehow comes up before that. I hate the idea of her time left here and the flight back to be miserable, but I also have enough respect for her to not be sincere to her face to face. I truly have no idea how she'll end up reacting. I would hope she would understand and respect my decision, but just like most girls, her emotions can be very unpredictable at times.

Yeah, obviously do what feels right. There's probably no right way.

Otoh if she offers to be your bangmaid you would be objectively wrong to turn that away.

Omi43221 · Apr 18, 2017

Feien said:
She IS already here. Has been here for 8 days and 8 more to go. We've had a couple of long conversations these last couple of nights that I think will ease into me fully telling her how I feel rather than coming off as a complete surprise, so that has been a bit helpful. I'm still buying my time and trying to figure out the best course of action. I'm leaning on telling her 1 or 2 days before she leaves unless it somehow comes up before that. I hate the idea of her time left here and the flight back to be miserable, but I also have enough respect for her to not be sincere to her face to face. I truly have no idea how she'll end up reacting. I would hope she would understand and respect my decision, but just like most girls, her emotions can be very unpredictable at times.

All right I'm going to be the asshole and ask. How is the sex? This is important information on answering this question. Very important, details are necessary.

Haast · Apr 18, 2017

Omi43221 said:
It's weird as time goes on I always forget about the bad things and just remember the good things. Do others do that?

When it comes to my ex? No.

I sincerely have very few positive memories of experiences involving her, which explains why we do not talk. No kids, live in different cities, no communication. Nice, clean break.

Noodleface · Apr 18, 2017

Like a good shit

Mrs. Gravy · Apr 18, 2017

Feien Unless the dear girl either has her head completely up her bum OR she is choosing to disregard the subtleties, she probably is aware that something is amiss.
Don't make her guess. Find a peaceful moment and just lay it out...in as caring a way as possible . Her future with a person. who is not passionate about her may be comfortable but life is too short to not have some fire to it, at least in the beginning.

In non related news.. I did go for an overnight camp with new man...tent sleeping, no running water, boated and fished in the rain, ate awesome campfire food etc. and I had an outstanding time and am still alive and kicking!
Wish I could have stayed longer and that I didn't have to get back to this office with my mountain of work and icky things. But...glad I have a good job to pay for pretty things and good food.

*edited because motherfucking auto correct had changed the word bum to bundled and I just noticed.*

moonarchia · Apr 19, 2017

It didn't fuck your mother, just your intent and coherence.

Swagdaddy · Apr 19, 2017

if you fuck a female without an intention of commitment you either are sleeping with whores or leading on actual good females

good females will not allow this willingly so you either deceive them or they deceive themselves

whores just don't care

point is don't lead good chicks on for pussy which I would say about 75% of my male acquaintances are guilty of

if you just want to fuck without commitments find sluts, they are everywhere these days

Kirun · Apr 19, 2017

Swagdaddy said:
if you fuck a female without an intention of commitment you either are sleeping with whores or leading on actual good females

good females will not allow this willingly so you either deceive them or they deceive themselves

whores just don't care

point is don't lead good chicks on for pussy which I would say about 75% of my male acquaintances are guilty of

if you just want to fuck without commitments find sluts, they are everywhere these days

Swagdaddy · Apr 19, 2017

i dont understand the picture, who am i whiteknighting?

sorry that alot of men dont like to hold themselves accountable for their deceptive and immoral actions and childishly finger point at women instead of acknowledging their own contributions to an endless stream of relational dysfunction

taking responsibility for childish behavior and adjusting the only thing you can control (your own actions), i thought thats what men did

you guys are on cringe inducingly low levels of woke

TrollfaceDeux · Apr 19, 2017

Swagdaddy said:
if you fuck a female without an intention of commitment you either are sleeping with whores or leading on actual good females

good females will not allow this willingly so you either deceive them or they deceive themselves

whores just don't care

point is don't lead good chicks on for pussy which I would say about 75% of my male acquaintances are guilty of

if you just want to fuck without commitments find sluts, they are everywhere these days

why are you calling

Mrs. Gravy a whore.

LulzSect · Apr 20, 2017

Swagdaddy said:
if you fuck a female without an intention of commitment you either are sleeping with whores or leading on actual good females

good females will not allow this willingly so you either deceive them or they deceive themselves

whores just don't care

point is don't lead good chicks on for pussy which I would say about 75% of my male acquaintances are guilty of

if you just want to fuck without commitments find sluts, they are everywhere these days

spoken like a true beta

belive it or not cuck, women like to fuck just as much as we do

i see nothing wrong with two consenting adults fucking each other

what, i gotta sign a blood contract to fuck a bitch casually?

pffft they need it too kid

no good or bad girls out there, we all need it

Heallun · Apr 20, 2017

LulzSect said:
spoken like a true beta

belive it or not cuck, women like to fuck just as much as we do

i see nothing wrong with two consenting adults fucking each other

what, i gotta sign a blood contract to fuck a bitch casually?

pffft they need it too kid

no good or bad girls out there, we all need it

That ain't what he's saying and you know it. It's fucking under false pretenses that's the problem. When you starting saying / doing manipulative shit to bang is when it starts crossing into sleezy territory. Just gotta read the situation and make sure expectations on both sides are measured. Takes a lot of willpower to not say the right words to get your dick sucked, though.

This gets murky when she's running some kind of FWB situation hoping it'll be more but if she never makes that explicitly clear I reckon the conscience is clean. It's like being in the fuckzone I guess?

Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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