Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Hoss

Hoss

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lindz said:
Yeah, we don't do them often anymore. Mainly because most suck these days. Usually only lasts for a few months when we do and it could only ever be an evening and weekend thing before. I'm thinking with the setup we have, they are definitely going to be more problematic.

I'm just trying to be really careful around all of this and I'll probably give it a few more weeks while maybe gently pushing a bit more. I'm still in the "it can't go on forever" phase which maybe is naive, but a girl can hope... Regardless, thank you all for listening to me vent for a moment.
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Maybe you need to get him to schedule some RL raids. The structure would probably help. For 2 hours (or however long his raids last) he does the housework stuff and he's communicating with you since you're the raid leader.

Doing the floor now
Don't forget to move the chair

Or whatever. Fill in more appropriate banter. But you'd have to have some way of holding him accountable like he has with his guild. Maybe the kids could help with that if they're old enough.
 
Cad

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lurkingdirk said:
When you get the table bare and clean, flip your wife up on it and give her the ride of a lifetime. It's all motivation for her to continue to keep it clean.
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Or if she immediately clutters it again Noodle will start posting in /r/incels
 
A

a_skeleton_06

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Hoss said:
Maybe you need to get him to schedule some RL raids. The structure would probably help. For 2 hours (or however long his raids last) he does the housework stuff and he's communicating with you since you're the raid leader.

Doing the floor now
Don't forget to move the chair

Or whatever. Fill in more appropriate banter. But you'd have to have some way of holding him accountable like he has with his guild. Maybe the kids could help with that if they're old enough.
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Or maybe he should just stop being a faggot and grow up. Jesus - do people actually have to do stuff like this?
 
Phazael

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Noodleface said:
You guys gotta stop with this EQ shit
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This. MMOs are poison to relationships, especially asymmetrical ones that were already having issues. Also, stop banging other dudes. Its not helping and will lead to the whole thing cratering. He is basically Aanima at this point and you are the wife who is going to get fed up and move on. That open marriage shit barely works in a stable healthy relationship, so I hope to hell you dropped that stuff while going through this transition.

But, yeah no MMOS and probably should curtail any video gaming until he sorts his shit out and starts holding up his end.
 
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moonarchia

moonarchia

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Noodleface said:
Let's not get hasty. I've still got a chance with lindz here
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@Screamfeeder we need your connections to get this made into a Netflix series ASAP.

Two friends, separated by time and circumstances, meet up again after years apart. Her, a devoted wife and mother of three, struggling to keep her family together through difficult times. Him, a dutiful husband and father of two, trapped in a sexless marriage due to complications from their last pregnancy. Neither of them was looking, but they found each other anyways. It wasn't meant to happen, but the heart won't be denied.

We can get Chicago or Heart do the theme song.

Call it 'The Noodles and The Knees', or 'Tank and Spank'.
 
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Dunnhopen

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She may not be swinging currently, it seems to me like the community in general focuses on her sexual activity more then she does. She is talking about struggling with the relationship side and that often effects the sexual side of relationships too.

I agree on the not letting EQ be a distraction from getting shit done. I know I struggle with avoiding chores and such and have played games more then I should but as I got older I focus on using it(games) as a short break while getting the chores handled. I manage to get everything done in bursts and take breaks for 20-30 minutes and save the long raids and such for the night time runs.
 
Namon

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I'm about to take on my nephew, his wife, their kid, her parents, and 4 more cats (we have 3) who are Irma refugees... good lord may god have mercy on us all. Glass is half full: this is a family of doctors so if I have a heart attack, now would be the time to do it.
 
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Khane

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Dunnhopen said:
She may not be swinging currently, it seems to me like the community in general focuses on her sexual activity more then she does. She is talking about struggling with the relationship side and that often effects the sexual side of relationships too.

I agree on the not letting EQ be a distraction from getting shit done. I know I struggle with avoiding chores and such and have played games more then I should but as I got older I focus on using it(games) as a short break while getting the chores handled. I manage to get everything done in bursts and take breaks for 20-30 minutes and save the long raids and such for the night time runs.
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I don't think EQ is the problem, I think it's just a convenient excuse. I think he's the problem. What kind of man just up and leaves his solid, well paying career to "follow his dreams" when he already has a wife and 3 children who rely on him and then complains about depression and hides in video games all day?

He was writing while also working, okay... and if it's too much to handle doing all that and still trying to have some family time which thing do you think you should give up?
 
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lindz

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moonarchia said:
@Screamfeeder we need your connections to get this made into a Netflix series ASAP.

Two friends, separated by time and circumstances, meet up again after years apart. Her, a devoted wife and mother of three, struggling to keep her family together through difficult times. Him, a dutiful husband and father of two, trapped in a sexless marriage due to complications from their last pregnancy. Neither of them was looking, but they found each other anyways. It wasn't meant to happen, but the heart won't be denied.

We can get Chicago or Heart do the theme song.

Call it 'The Noodles and The Knees', or 'Tank and Spank'.
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So much lol!



And as far as the sexual side - it was a one time thing and honestly it was no issues at all. It is still something we play around with in bed, talking dirty and all, but it was such a particular circumstance, I don't know if it would happen again. Remember, his fantasy, not mine. I'm not interested in screwing other guys so it's not something that would cause strain or insecurity or whatever. Stuff may be rocky on some fronts, but the sexual side rarely is.
 
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lindz

lindz

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Khane said:
I don't think EQ is the problem, I think it's just a convenient excuse. I think he's the problem. What kind of man just up and leaves his solid, well paying career to "follow his dreams" when he already has a wife and 3 children who rely on him and then complains about depression and hides in video games all day?

He was writing while also working, okay... and if it's too much to handle doing all that and still trying to have some family time which thing do you think you should give up?
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Eh, this is one I don't agree with. There are problems yeah, but a happy marriage is not one where people are working in careers they hate just to support the family. I'm not a "stuff" person. I give no fucks about the money as long as we can provide what the kids need and put food on the table. We had a lot of savings, we have money coming in, and we have a support system if needed. Sure things are tighter, but just living in Utah saves a whole hell of a lot compared to cost of living in Seattle. The marriage and our family is healthier in the long term if we're both doing what we love and I would never want to deny him that. And he never complained about depression; I just saw it. We're going through some rough shit, made worse by the ability to lose himself in EQ, but the long term benefits are way better. I wouldn't have made the decision to do what we did if I didn't believe that. Maybe that's naive - but the former sounds like the recipe for a failed marriage full of years of resentment and regret.
 
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Picasso3

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I thought it was a long term arrangement.

Now i feel like we may have run it into the ground.
 
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Crone

Crone

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This may have been answered in your long post lindz but why did you let him spend so much time in EQ?

My wife would go full on red head ballistic at me if I tried spending that much time in games and ignored the rest.
 
Khane

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Picasso3 said:
Like mail on the table, lost for all eternity.
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See you can use this Noodle. Lindz is into brooding artist types apparently. You should try writing her some poetry or songs.

"Let me be the male on your table. Signed, sealed, delivered... I'm yours"
 
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