Marriage and the Power of Divorce

I mean it kind of is, I'm 33.

Noodleface said:

Crone

For me I talked to my wife about it. I told her, look, I don't go out with the boys every week, I don't drink, I take care of all the money and clean the house (lol), and I need some time to myself every week. I told her if she really didn't want me to raid I wouldn't, but to me its something fairly important as it's my only time to just relax. I also told her if there were ever a time when she felt it interfered with life or whatever I'd stop.

I realize writing that out how lame it sounds, but I'd rather be at home raiding than hitting bars or whatever else there is to do. She's been mostly understanding. I think some days she wishes I didn't raid but here I am.

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Not lame at all and I think that's exactly the way to handle it. Maybe she needs a similar thing? Is there a night you can do the kid routine and she can have her time to chill? Girlfriends, fave tv show and ice cream, bath and wine, etc? Maybe if it's explained as both of you guys need a night off to just relax, that might help.

So she has brought that up recently. My one question is when have I stopped her? Both kids are in bed by 830 now (I raid at 9). I told her if she wants I can take care of both of them before bed but it's almost like she wants to do things but doesn't have stuff to do. Her idea of relaxation is cross stitching so I've been letting her do it recently. I'm trying but she can't articulate what she wants to do.

Noodleface said:

Crone

For me I talked to my wife about it. I told her, look, I don't go out with the boys every week, I don't drink, I take care of all the money and clean the house (lol), and I need some time to myself every week. I told her if she really didn't want me to raid I wouldn't, but to me its something fairly important as it's my only time to just relax. I also told her if there were ever a time when she felt it interfered with life or whatever I'd stop.

I realize writing that out how lame it sounds, but I'd rather be at home raiding than hitting bars or whatever else there is to do. She's been mostly understanding. I think some days she wishes I didn't raid but here I am.

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It's not lame at all. That's personal time that's important to you. If a gf ever told me that I play guitar too much or see too much live music that would be a problem for me. Playing in front of people on stage is better than sex. That shit is important to me. And if my SO didn't see it that way then...well...she wouldn't have that status anymore. That's my baggage.

Goddamn me and lindz on that same page here.

Oh guitar is a separate thing. I won't play when the kids are up (my guitars are both worth $2500+ each), but I'm noodling (heh) all night

My wife agrees with what you guys are saying. I just feel bad, because just like noodles wife, my wife doesn't have any of her own hobbies, so I can't reciprocate. I try and get her into things, but she doesn't stay Interested. It's creepy how similar our wives are Noodle. Does she have a lot of siblings?

So that's my issue to deal with. Wife says I can have my own time, and despite hearing the children go nuts, my wife go ballistic, kids maybe crying, I'll just ignore it all and have my raid times!

Well I game in my office. But most other nights I hang out and watch tv with her. If she puts something lame on she knows I'm ghosting her ass

Noodleface said:

Well I game in my office. But most other nights I hang out and watch tv with her. If she puts something lame on she knows I'm ghosting her ass

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That's what I do most of the time already. It used to be she would go to sleep around 9pm and I'd game after she went to sleep. But now, she stays up as late as midnight and wants to watch shows the whole time. Lol

Yeah like I tell her I'm game to watch stuff but fuck no am o watching America's next top model or survivor

a_skeleton_03 said:

Yeah my wife used to not get it. Now she loves it. We sit in the same room and she does her thing on the couch and watches TV shows. I sit right behind her at my desk doing some gaming. I avoid voice chat unless we need it and even then I am one ear out of the headphones. We talk throughout the whole thing. Super comfortable.

I don't leave from an event early to go raid.

She goes to San Diego for a week once a month and hangs out with a few friends between shifts at work. She tells me their marriages are a wreck because they can't get on the same sheet of music and just relax on the relationship together. They want things a certain way and they will never be that way.

My wife is not quite to the level of @Cad's wife but she keeps the house like a morgue, clean and cold. I like it. We have walls with pictures but nothing on the end tables, no extra throw pillows, and the kitchen has every single thing put away without even a fruit bowl.

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I had a situation where I was giving my girlfriend sleeping medication just to get some time in with my Leagues team.

If I didn't she would bounce out of bed and try to spy on every little thing I was doing. I felt it was inappropriate since we weren't married and she was technically only sleeping over as a gentleman's thing. I didn't feel I owed her any monitoring or spying liberties after only 2 months of very chaotic and abusive dating, so I decided it wasn't going to be accommodated. Sleeping drugs were the only solution to get any peace of mind and relaxation.

The reason she would hawk me is because she wanted to go to bed at the same time. Again, I saw no reason for this unless I was serious about making sacrifices for the relationship, which I was not. She ended up ingesting quite a few pills over the course of our time together. I'd never put myself in that situation again where there is a large discrepancy or miscommunication that has to be resolved with drugs.

jayrebb said:

I had a situation where I was giving my girlfriend sleeping medication just to get some time in with my Leagues team.

If I didn't she would bounce out of bed and try to spy on every little thing I was doing. I felt it was inappropriate since we weren't married and she was technically only sleeping over as a gentleman's thing. I didn't feel I owed her any monitoring or spying liberties after only 2 months of very chaotic and abusive dating, so I decided it wasn't going to be accommodated. Sleeping drugs were the only solution to get any peace of mind and relaxation.

The reason she would hawk me is because she wanted to go to bed at the same time. Again, I saw no reason for this unless I was serious about making sacrifices for the relationship, which I was not. She ended up ingesting quite a few pills over the course of our time together. I'd never put myself in that situation again where there is a large discrepancy or miscommunication that has to be resolved with drugs.

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My wife used to have a thing about going to bed at the same time. She'd pass out in 3 seconds and I'd just go back downstairs

Crone said:

My wife agrees with what you guys are saying. I just feel bad, because just like noodles wife, my wife doesn't have any of her own hobbies, so I can't reciprocate. I try and get her into things, but she doesn't stay Interested. It's creepy how similar our wives are Noodle. Does she have a lot of siblings?

So that's my issue to deal with. Wife says I can have my own time, and despite hearing the children go nuts, my wife go ballistic, kids maybe crying, I'll just ignore it all and have my raid times!

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Get her into reading romance novels. Comes with good sex too.

Crone my wife does have 3 siblings but her mom's house looks like ours so the Apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Noodleface said:

Crone my wife does have 3 siblings but her mom's house looks like ours so the Apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

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My wife is 1 of 8 kids, so their house was chaotic all the time. You're right, it doesn't fall far from the tree.

Noodleface said:

So she has brought that up recently. My one question is when have I stopped her? Both kids are in bed by 830 now (I raid at 9). I told her if she wants I can take care of both of them before bed but it's almost like she wants to do things but doesn't have stuff to do. Her idea of relaxation is cross stitching so I've been letting her do it recently. I'm trying but she can't articulate what she wants to do.

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Give her homework. Make her draw up a list of places she wants to go to next time you ask.

Noodleface said:

Yeah like I tell her I'm game to watch stuff but fuck no am o watching America's next top model or survivor

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Well, that's your loss. America's Next Top Model is FIERCE.