Oblio
Utah
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The judge ain't wrong. If you truly trusted each other and worked well together your emotional issues wouldn't be causing a divorce. Sorry to be a dick, but that is the truth.
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Marriage and the Power of Divorce
- Thread starter Grumpus
- Start date
Izo
Tranny Chaser
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Fucker
Log Wizard
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Cad
scientia potentia est
- 27,752
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Judge knows you guys will just be back in court eventually on that deal. Phrased a little more adroitly than some of the others, I think the judges figures if you could cooperate enough to make that plan work and get along, you wouldn't be getting divorced. There probably are cases where this would work out, but the percentages seem low to me. I wouldn't recommend a client do this.
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sleevedraw
Revolver Ocelot
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I think we are one of those cases, because we were able to agree on a fallback plan within a day (he'll just buy out my equity), but I absolutely do get that most people probably would end up back in court.
The other thing I learned from this whole shebang is that prepaid legal is a waste of money.
Izo
Tranny Chaser
- 20,501
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sleevedraw
Revolver Ocelot
- 2,220
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No, we had an exchange kid from Spain for a year; he was a good kid, and we enjoyed hosting. I'll probably do a postmortem on that in the parenting thread eventually, but I'm not in the right mental space right now.
The TL;DR version:
1) He wants to have actual kids (and he is very adamant about surrogacy because he's an only child due to the One Child Policy and wants to be the dutiful Chinese son and continue his line), and I don't. When we got engaged, we discussed them, and we basically kicked the can for 5 years and said we would reassess at that time. At the time, it didn't sound like he was super adamant about having them, but either I misinterpreted, or he changed.
2) On the whole thing about misinterpretation, just poor communication in general. He's an emotional, feelings-heavy guy, and I am emotionally constipated/probably an undiagnosed autist
on FoH? Never!!
We've never, ever fought about money.
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moonarchia
The Scientific Shitlord
- 25,685
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Judge is still right. You decided to divorce. Make that cut clean to prevent any chance of future complications.
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Cad
scientia potentia est
- 27,752
- 59,198
To
sleevedraw
's point though, the judge isn't there to tell you whats a good idea, he's there to make sure you comply with the law. There's no law on this subject, he's just imposing his will on people in his court. If you want to give your money away or create problems for yourself there's no law preventing it and this judge should let them do what they want, even if its stupid.- 3
Kithani
Blackwing Lair Raider
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I nominate Cad for JudgeTo
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Oblio
Utah
- 12,027
- 26,388
moonarchia
The Scientific Shitlord
- 25,685
- 47,636
That's fair. Judge probably just trying to prevent future court cases clogging up the system.To
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DickTrickle
Definitely NOT Furor Planedefiler
- 13,811
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Sounds like a fuck off price. Unless you're mega rich, it shouldn't be that complicated.
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Cutlery
Kill All the White People
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- 22,661
It's a long story, but let's just summarize it as this.
I have 2 daughters. I need to be the good example for their lives.
I fucking know all about it, you don't have to tell me. But at the end of the day, the important part is the kids. They need to know that they need to be a useful partner, and they need to see that it's not okay to be a useful partner and not get commitment from a guy
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moonarchia
The Scientific Shitlord
- 25,685
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Skip the marriage. Full stop. Any lessons to be learned were learned when you and their mom got divorced. Putting your ass in the crosshairs of another shitty divorce is just going to teach them that 1) marriages are shitty, and 2) you are an idiot who doesn't learn from experience.
Do something different. Be an honest and caring partner who also protects himself. Do not cohabitate. Do not commingle finances.