Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Koushirou said:

Yeah, I'm just trying desperately to hold onto some hopium that I don't come out of this completely fucked, but yeah sounds like I'm boned whatever I do. I always understood why guys noped the fuck out of marriage; just sucks to have to live it, too.

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You're a smart and capable woman and he's a lazy piece of shit. No matter how you come out of this within five years you are going to be so much better off than he probably ever will be.

Koushirou said:

I tried for a long time to get our finances combined, but he always wanted his separate because he didn't want to be told what he could do with his money. Of course, it just became a scenario of having our money and his money. Obvious red flag that I ignored, but I never claimed to be smart.

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I don't mean this as a slight against you, you're awesome. This is about him. He sounds like the woman in your marriage. What's yours is his and what's his is his. Didn't want to work. Wanted you to support his life style while he did what ever he wanted. He sounds like a vengeful housewife.

So apparently he couldn't find a lawyer by last night to look over his response paperwork...so he asked me to help him look over it. Basically just kept it to "if that's what you want, yeah that's the spot where you'd put it, etc." Asked where to get it notarized and turned in, so progress I guess. He's got 10 days left to turn it in, so, he's gotta hurry up. Today I guess a lawyer finally got back to him and agreed to just look over his response packet to make sure it was just correctly filled out. He's going to ask while he's there to see if they can help us draw up an agreement we can take to court, which sounds like it'd be the ideal, and cheap, way forward. He is fighting me on the house equity thing quite a bit. I stated if he wants half the house equity I want him to cover half the down payment loan. He says what he wants to cover depends on how much money he gets from the equity, so if he doesn't get enough from that equity, maybe he only pays $5000 or something instead of the $10000 that would be half of that loan. Any pushback I try to give to this, he reminds me that his mother is pushing him to go after my 401k/savings, etc. and he doesn't want to be a dick and do that, so I may just have to eat that because I'd rather there just be no touching of my retirement or savings if I can avoid it. I really do hope we can just get an agreement written out and done, but the feature creep is definitely killing me. It was so funny/sad, I was talking with my therapist today about how he now wanted me to buy a table and chairs for him (because he needs it and my family has more money, so he needs more help. Fucking communist.) and she asked me if I thought he would just keep asking for more and I figure yeah, he probably will. Literally, the second I get home he mentions he added he also wanted me to get him a small love seat as well to his paperwork. Fucking lol.

As I was writing this, he finally got a response from that job he's been waiting on for the past 5 months or so. Got a second shift position doing some kind of document prep for one of the three letter agencies. Good, fucking finally, and one less thing to worry about because now that's one less excuse for him to move the fuck out once this is all done with. Thank god.

Noodleface said:

Just curious... But I'm assuming he asked you to purchase a love seat,.rather than asking for money for a loveseat ?

Because if so that's hilarious

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Correct. Like, he wants to go to Big Lots or Walmart or something with me in tow, pick out something up to $X dollars and buy it for him. And naturally, we have to use my car for it, too, because shit ain't going to fit in his Challenger.

He did say Facebook Marketplace is fine, too, lol.

I am legitimately somewhat curious as to how he's going to actually be on his own once this is all done. Having to figure out who the hell to pay rent to every month, utility bills, maintenance requests, etc. He's in for a wild ride.

Just a tad.