Marriage and the Power of Divorce
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Noodleface
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Yeah I'm sitting here thinking about if I asked my wife for a paternity test how she would react.. not looking good..
Soygen
The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
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Khane
Got something right about marriage
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Yea, but your relationship isn't an abyss of vitriol and seething hatred.
Lendarios
Trump's Staff
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Can you calm down the diarrhea? Why do you think all women are cheating whores?
Khane
Got something right about marriage
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Heh, I don't. But you haven't painted a very good picture of your relationship.
khalid
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Asking for a paternity test is pretty toxic, but even worse is a partner that constantly threatens divorce. In fact, I can't think of anything more toxic than threatening a divorce. Something like that, even if its simply an off the cuff one-time thing in a moment of anger, is something that should probably lead to counseling. Happening multiple times? Well heh, sorry man.
Lendarios
Trump's Staff
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Never on my description of my relation I have mentioned anything regarding her cheating. All I have painted and described is a toxic relationship of her with my family, and me at times.
Look it would be so much easy if she were a cheating whore. It would be so much easy if the child is not mine. But the child is mine and she has not cheated as far as I know, which all you can really hope for.
No that isn't how it works. I have no idea how many times we have to tell you this but there is no universe where a stable and normal couple go into seperate rooms with a name written on a slip of paper and that is done and the child is named. Normal and rational people come to compromise and give and take and both eventually settle upon a name that works out for both of them. Both you and your wife appear to be the two most selfish people who are willing to argue to the ends of the Earth over the most trivial bullshit.
Khane
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I don't think these guys are trying to be assholes lendarios (ok mostly not, anyway) they're trying to shock some sense into you to realize how bad this relationship is. You are getting literally nothing from being in this relationship if it really as you describe. Run away.
Noodleface
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Lendarios
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I don't want to be the one who walks out the door without a major reason to, now specially that I have a daughter. Even though me forcing the name issue may have that outcome.
Tenks, reads other comments and you'll see a split into if I have the right to name the child or not. The thing is that there is no compromise possible on the issue. The kid either gets the name or not, there is no third option. If i wanted to have the first name then it can be compromised to middle, but by my requesting the middle, and been denied, there is no room for me to negotiate anything. Like i said, it turns out is not about the name, but instead is about the relationship with my family and how having our daughter named like a member of my family reminds her of my family... Well the solution to that is we solve the problem with my family.
In the past when she threaten divorce over stupid shit, most people here gave the advise, to take the out. I may do that this time, this time the reason is valid for me and worth standing my ground for. If she can't deal that i have the right to name our daughter, she has to learn to deal with it. It is not an issue for a normal couple, so it cant be an issue for us. Funny part is that one of her main peeps and an insulting one is that according to her " i don't act like a man" because i don't stand up with her against my family, that my priorities are in the wrong place. Well now that I am standing up for myself, on the name and on the labor room stance, now she doesn't agree with it.
To tell u a story regarding that.
One time her bother was in town, she is the youngest of the pack, and were on the line for the movie theater. The brother came and smacked her ass, in a playful manner, like if they were kids. I was like WTF, and after the movie I took the brother to the side and told him, hey she is not 10 anymore, she is my wife, please stop doing that. The guy looked at me and apologize and understood. Done right.. So a couple of days I'm telling her about this, and she goes enraged, about how I dared to get in the middle of the relationship between her and her brother, and throws such a fit, and forces me, I kid you not, to call the brother and apologize to him. So instead of standing my ground because i am fucking right on that one!!! i called like a little puss and apologize to the brother that just smacked my wife's ass. It took fucking therapy and another person to tell her that she was WAY out of line on that incident to realize that she was wrong.
Well this is similar, I don't want to spend years for her to realize that was wrong to not let me name our child because at that point, an apology is not enough. I'll start calling a lawyer friend and learning how the divorce process goes and how fucked I will be. But is better than this alternative.
Lendarios
Trump's Staff
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We live in a 1/1 underwater 85k mortgage, $450 a month. 5k in Cc debt, mostly from her applying to medical programs this year. 30k at 10% in student loans ( currently down to 20k, monthly payment is $400), i have paid for a big chunk of her education as her expenses from traveling come from our checking account. Push come to shove I have a good argument for no alimony as she can get a good job with her MD degree, even an actual residency, fuck maybe even I'm entitled to some part of her salary if she becomes a full doctor.
