Noah (2014)

Sebudai

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They should've stayed more true to the source material and produced a movie that was 7min long and reflected the stupidest fucking story in the stupidest book ever written.
 

j00t

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Listen, no one is arguing about the validity of the bible. When man of steel came out and people were upset at the portrayal of superman no one started arguing about whether or not comics are real. We get it, you think Christians are stupid. That's fine. We are arguing about the validity of sticking to source material. Dropping in and saying that people who agree with the bible are stupid adds nothing to the discussion nor is it original. Move along
 

Void

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It had never rained before, ever? Where does that info come from?

Listen, I agree that they needed to fill in a lot of gaps to make it long enough for a movie. But they could have filled in those gaps with a lot of other things. Hell, even just struggles like how a small family is going to get those massive trees in place without the help of magical rock golems would have been better than said rock golems.

It literally looked like a science fiction story of people in an alien landscape, with alien animals, building the ark with the help of alien beings. Except for the names, you could have told me that was the story of some alien planet, with an alien god giving directions, and I'd have completely believed you if I'd never heard of the ark story.
 

Arakkis

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It had never rained before, ever? Where does that info come from?

Listen, I agree that they needed to fill in a lot of gaps to make it long enough for a movie. But they could have filled in those gaps with a lot of other things. Hell, even just struggles like how a small family is going to get those massive trees in place without the help of magical rock golems would have been better than said rock golems.

It literally looked like a science fiction story of people in an alien landscape, with alien animals, building the ark with the help of alien beings. Except for the names, you could have told me that was the story of some alien planet, with an alien god giving directions, and I'd have completely believed you if I'd never heard of the ark story.
I think that's the point of the entire story. The Earth was so fucked, God just decided to shake the Etch-a-Sketch and start over.
 

Eomer

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No one wants to see a movie about fucking carpentry, for christ's sake. You can't take a Biblical story like Noah and then make it as mundane as possible, because that fits better with what little story there is or modern beliefs about how ridiculous the story itself is. The director took the Biblical story, made it in to a fantasy, added in a lot of environmentalism, and took out the religiosity. It's nothing I'll watch again, but like I said, it was reasonably entertaining.
 

j00t

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It had never rained before, ever? Where does that info come from?
eh, it's a creationist theory that had gained some popularity but it's based indirectly on 2 verses. can't remember exactly where but it says in the garden of eden that it hadn't rained. it DOESN'T say that it didn't rain anywhere else... also, when god tells noah to build the ark he says he's going to make it rain for 40 days and nights. Noah certainly had never seen a rainbow before... so a lot of people infer from that that it hadn't rained yet. it's called the Canopy Theory. it's meant to explain a lot of climate and biology changes pre-flood, such as how people lived to be 900+ years old. but, (and speaking as a creationist) it's basically an argument from silence. "it never said that it DID rain!" those kinds of arguments are pretty weak.

original.0
 

Aychamo BanBan

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eh, it's a creationist theory that had gained some popularity but it's based indirectly on 2 verses. can't remember exactly where but it says in the garden of eden that it hadn't rained. it DOESN'T say that it didn't rain anywhere else... also, when god tells noah to build the ark he says he's going to make it rain for 40 days and nights. Noah certainly had never seen a rainbow before... so a lot of people infer from that that it hadn't rained yet. it's called the Canopy Theory. it's meant to explain a lot of climate and biology changes pre-flood, such as how people lived to be 900+ years old. but, (and speaking as a creationist) it's basically an argument from silence. "it never said that it DID rain!" those kinds of arguments are pretty weak.

original.0
You, and every other creationist, are unbelievably stupid. Fucking retarded. Do you realize how fucking idiotic you sound?
 

Caliane

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Listen, no one is arguing about the validity of the bible. When man of steel came out and people were upset at the portrayal of superman no one started arguing about whether or not comics are real. We get it, you think Christians are stupid. That's fine. We are arguing about the validity of sticking to source material. Dropping in and saying that people who agree with the bible are stupid adds nothing to the discussion nor is it original. Move along
but that is the core.

does anyone complain about God of war not matching the source? Vvoid even listed Troy which went mundane, but didnt match the source. what about Clash of the Titans? Jason and the Argonauts? Percy Jackson?
Eric the Viking? Thor? Every other myth gets treated fast and loose based on its legends.
 

j00t

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Thor is true to its comic book source so... But the rest of those movies all sucked. Way more was wrong with them besides not stocking to the source material.

And aych... I'm not sure where your aggression is coming from. I said in my post that it's a weak argument. Even AS a creationist it doesn't have much legs to stand on. So... Relax?
 

Sebudai

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Thor's true to its comic source because there's actual source material to draw from. That was my main point, rather than just bashing the Bible (although I did do that). The story of Noah and the flood is like one step up from Humpty Dumpty or the Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe, in terms of like, depth and content. The only way to turn it into a full-length film is to take huge liberties with it. And the only way to make it in to agoodfull-length film, is to take evenmoreliberties with it.
 

j00t

Silver Baronet of the Realm
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Sometimes... But the issue isn't re-imagining... Its about staying true to the source material. I was pissed when ultimate colossus was gay because it was just hamfisted into his character. But Cinderellas sisters not cutting their heels off so their feet would fit into the glass slippers didn't bother me because you didn't need that part to still know they were needy douches.
 
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Listen, I agree that they needed to fill in a lot of gaps to make it long enough for a movie. But they could have filled in those gaps with a lot of other things. Hell, even just struggles like how a small family is going to get those massive trees in place without the help of magical rock golems would have been better than said rock golems.

It literally looked like a science fiction story of people in an alien landscape, with alien animals, building the ark with the help of alien beings. Except for the names, you could have told me that was the story of some alien planet, with an alien god giving directions, and I'd have completely believed you if I'd never heard of the ark story.
To be fair, most people aren't aware The Bible is full of fantasy / sci-fi elements though:

There was an entire race of Giants:http://www.answersingenesis.org/arti...7/n1/ot-giants
Unicorns:BibleGateway - Quick search: unicorn

People that live for 600+ years, raise dead, walking on water, sticks to snakes, talking animals, talking bushes, demons, possession, spiritual healing, speaking in tongues, parting seas, resurrection, ESP, animal summoning, prophecies, etc.

The Bible has more fantasy/sci-fi tropes than Game of Thrones.
 

bixxby

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Also men with weiners like horses and emissions like donkeys. Total fabrications am i right
 

spronk

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bluray rips are out, watched it today. good cinematography and visuals, although reading the budget was $125m is a bit wtf

weird movie, sorta interesting but just felt way off, like some weird transformers version of the bible. Funniest part is reading all the Christians up in arms at imdb/etc over the extra stuff. Mostly tho you just kinda go "how the fuck did I believe this shit when I was a kid, this is the dumbest origins story in the world."
 

Mist

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Mostly tho you just kinda go "how the fuck did I believe this shit when I was a kid, this is the dumbest origins story in the world."
I figured out there was no god about 15 minutes after I caught my mom lying about the Tooth Fairy. No Tooth Fairy means there's clearly no Easter Bunny, which means no Santa, which means no God.

I was 4.

Yes, I've always been a cunt.

I kinda forgot this movie existed, my brain mixed it right in with the Superman movie where Maximus rides dragonflies.
 

Attog

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My dad wants to come over and watch this in my theater this weekend, he is hardcore catholic and I am not, how bad of a movie viewing experience is this going to be?