Noah (2014)

BoldW

Molten Core Raider
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I can't imagine how any Christian doesn't think this was total shit. I mean it is total shit, but watching it I couldn't help to think that Christians would be outraged by it. Is Ken ham down with this?
 

spronk

FPS noob
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it takes real liberties with the genesis story, introducing rock golem angels and having mankind build an empire run on god-rocks. plus noah is pretty much a giant douchebag, or strict conservative I guess depending on your POV

oh he's also a vegetarian which kinda makes sense but I don't think the bible mentions it
 

khorum

Murder Apologist
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Noah isn't any bigger a douchebag than any of the ancient jew patriarchs who routinely sacrificed their own sons, impregnated their own daughters, called down plagues to murder firstborn babies or just shrugged along while God nuked whole civilizations from orbit while simultaneously turning their wives into salt for showing some sympathy.
 

Sebudai

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I saw it more as adding depth to a story that needed it to become a full-length film more than taking extreme liberties with it. All the core elements of the story are totally unchanged. Plus, the story is completely vague in lots of ways. It basically says the people of the Earth had "corrupted" it, that they were "wicked," turned to "violence," etc. Aronofsky's interpretation of what that might mean seems totally reasonable to me. Furthermore, fallen angels are in the bible. Aronofsky just decided to interpret "chains of darkness" (or whatever the verse said) as encased in stone. And lastly, as khorum said, pretty much all of the patriarchs in the bible are assholes.
 

khorum

Murder Apologist
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I dunno why they turned the nephilim into rock-treants tho. Biblically they were tall half-angels. They even survived the flood and ended in Canaan until god had a fit and nuked them from orbit.
 

Sebudai

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I thought the things in the movie were just fallen angels rather than their nephilim offspring.
 
Boat that can hold all earth's creatures? Absolutely!
Lava rock angels fighting to protect earth's future? Total bullshit!

I liked it. Took a fantasy tale and made it into a better fantasy tale. 7/10. Maybe an extra .5 just knowing that he trolled the christfaggots.
 

Column_sl

shitlord
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7
Really a waste of good actors imho. The movie has as much in common with the King James version as Abraham Lincoln Vampire slayer.

Not sure why it so difficult to just tell it as it was, it's interesting on it's own merits. The 10 commandments is still a great movie even if you dont believe in God.

Anyway, I'm sure Christians, and more to the point Creationists ( Christians that take everything in the Bible literally, and none of it can have hidden or interpreted meanings) probly hate the film because at one point they show Evolution.
There is a lot of Christians that believe in Evolution btw, that has nothing to do with the message of the Bible. Creationists, and some other branches do not tho.
That is something the media never wants to show because they thrive on drama.

Back to the Noah movie, divorced of even the original story the script was fairly pedestrian. Aronofsky has done much better things then this sell out hollywood garbage.
 

Column_sl

shitlord
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I dunno why they turned the nephilim into rock-treants tho. Biblically they were tall half-angels. They even survived the flood and ended in Canaan until god had a fit and nuked them from orbit.
Not in the original King James version, they were just tall men. That came about in the New American Bible which is just another group adding whatever they want to the Bible much like the Catholics, and the Mormons...

I.E. shit like purgatory does not exist in the original King James bible.
 

j00t

Silver Baronet of the Realm
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What do you mean "original king James version" ... King James version was written in the 1600's...

And the word purgatory doesn't exist in any bible. The catholics just interpreted a verse that way (in the king James bible, no less).
 

Column_sl

shitlord
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It wasn't written in the 1600's , it's a translation in english of the christian bible (old and new testament)..

There is more than one translation now of KJV to make it easier to read for people in more modern times.
 

j00t

Silver Baronet of the Realm
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The king James bible was written for the church of england in 1604 as ordered by, you guessed it, king James.
 

Column_sl

shitlord
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The king James bible was written for the church of england in 1604 as ordered by, you guessed it, king James.
And its a translation of the Holy Bible, so what is your point.

It wasn't authored in 1604 other then translating the Old and New testament which allready existed...

the King James Version (KJV), commonly known as the Authorized Version (AV) or King James Bible (KJB), is an English translation of the Christian Bible for the Church of England begun in 1604 a
 

Column_sl

shitlord
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Column thinks the 10 Commandments didn't take liberties with the original story...
of Course it did, you know how long the bible is? But its not even close to as off course as this Noah 2014 was..

Noah 2014 reminds me of what Michael Bay would do if he wrote the Bible. This needs more action and explosions folks!

I'm really shocked that Aronofsky wrote this film, he is never this normal with his scripts.
All I can think of this was his money Hollywood movie to finance him working on smaller films.
 

j00t

Silver Baronet of the Realm
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My point is nothing other than the king James bible is very much not the "original"