Parent Thread

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Adebisi

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I was 11 when my parents got divorced. Probably 12 when my dad took my on a lunch date with a lady friend. He didn't really break it to me, just told me we're going on a picnic with a friend. I'm sure he didn't tell my mom either.
How did it make you feel?
 

Noodleface

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When my mother divorced my dad she started dating a dude really fast after. I think part of it was her settling because she couldn't afford a house on her own. He met us pretty quickly after and I remember giving him the stink-eye, it definitely felt way too soon (even today). He moved in within a month. They've been married for 20 years so I can't really diss on the man too much, but the relationship with us kids definitely started off on the wrong foot
 

alavaz

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My mom moved in with a guy right after divorcing my dad. My brother and I were like 4 and 5 and my brother told him that he looked liked a pussy the first time he met him (mimicking something my dad said I'm sure). My mom thinks that story is hilarious. He was a cool dude, liked video games and comic books and stuff. They lasted about 8 years or so. I don't remember why they broke up but I remember he was a long haul truck driver and wasn't around that much so that was probably a big contributor.

My dad married another woman pretty quickly too. She had 4 boys that were close in age to me and my brother so we loved it. When we stayed with them and my dad it was like having a little party with our buddies every time. They aren't together anymore but still good friends and I still consider them all family.
 
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GuardianX

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Okay, my kid needs to calm the fuck down. (He's 3 and change)

For real this kid is going to get CPS on my ass, he is an "All in" personality so he has bruises all over usually a perpetual series of bruises on his shins but now there is one on his back and his hip and I'm just like "WTF dude, what the ever living hell are you doing to get these?!?" (Paraphrased, I 99% of the time do not swear around him)

Usually his response is something like "I fell off the couch" or "I jumped off the cat tree" like...great...cool man, you do you while CPS books me...

Oh, and thank god he overheard me talking about my wifes boobs one day and now he talks about "Booboos" and likes to chastise me about not wearing a shirt IMMEDIATELY after I get out of the shower, "Daddy, you need a shirt for your booboos..." great, amazing, sexual deviant in the making...

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My 3.5 year old son is terrified of going to bed. Nothing has helped

Do you all have a routine for night-time?

My family treated night-time as story time for the better part of a decade, honestly i kinda wish that my dad had kept it going into the teens, it really brought my brother and I together because my dad would basically create "On the fly" stories about the day and various fake adventures that the characters he created (based on my brother and I) went on. I am going to be picking that up in a year or so but right now our routine is basically as detailed below:

Get ready for bed, go potty, brush teeth, grab blanket and buddies (Flavor of the day toy / stuffed animal), Read 2-3 kids books or stories.

Best advice is just hammer out a routine and stick to it. If someone has a routine and it works for you, great...but don't treat theirs as the golden rule. Find something fun to do and make that the focus.

The only thing I would 100% suggest is, never use one of those "turn my room into a god damn laser light show" things that places sell. If the room basically looks like a 90's rave your kid will never get good sleep, a simple one that maybe slow pulses some colors and then auto dims and shuts off after an hour or so should work if your kid is afraid of the dark.

Ikea does some really good ones:

(No longer sell this one)
LURIGA LED night light - IKEA

LURIGA LED night light - IKEA

Debating getting this one for kid 2:



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We’ve always tried to maintain trust and not scaring them every chance we get, instead explaining how things work, showing them how movies are made and things happening not being real

HAHA, man I fucked this one up. I wasn't on my "A" game in costco and kid got scared by the giant Frankenstein butler thing they have there that moves and talks. I didn't think anything of it as I explained that it wasn't real and it had batteries. Well fast forward a few days and we are at Home Depot and they have a Halloween section with moving things, me being the amazing dad I am thought that I should demonstrate that these things are all just "Big Toys" and they have buttons you can step on to make them move...ya my kid nearly shat himself when I turned the wolf-man on.

The comical part is, he knows they have batteries / need to be plugged in. The one in Costco has been unplugged for a while now and he still doesn't like it but he mentions every time that it "Isn't turned on". Meh, I'm chalking it up to the fact that he's 3 and likely is personifying the thing as realish..

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I talked to her this morning about it. It looks like it might be because a movie theater is dark.

Depending on where you are, some theatres do "Kids time" where the movie isn't as loud, kids can be kids and the theatre isn't as dark.

"Alamo Drafthouse" does it but that is largely a Texas thing with various other locations. Check out your various "Big Chain" type theatres, they may have a calendar.
 

ToeMissile

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I saw the Frankenstein thing while at costco with my daughter today. Thought about taking her over to it, but decided another time. She's usually ok after I show her I can touch something/am not afraid, but that's mostly for static stuff.
 

Noodleface

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He's had the same bedtime routine since he was first born. Bath time around 8, story time at 830. Now both him.and his brother are doing the same routine at the same time, and the young one goes right to sleep.

As soon as we turn off the light my oldest starts saying he's scares. I think he's scared of the dark, but also you can tell he's sort of laughing about it so could be an attention thing. They sleep In the same room.

We've tried just leaving him or closing the door. It's not worth it. It's nothing but blood curdling screams that wake up the 1 year old.
We've given him a small light/lantern we charge everyday. Sorta helps.

At my wit's end. Last night I stayed up there for 2 hours and he was still awake scared.

We're trying the calm thing but it's not getting better. Been dealing with this for a year off and on.
 

3301

Wake Up Man
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Have you tried reverse psychology? One of our girls wasn’t a fan of vegetables, but she would start eating after you toyed with her a bit, we’d tell her “Don’t you eat that baby broccoli!” and of course she’d stuff it in her mouth and eat it.
 

Dalven

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Looking for thoughts on introducing kids to a new girlfriend.

I've been separated since Feb, and been seriously dating someone for about 2.5 months. I'd love for this person to someday meet my 6 year old son and 10 year old daughter. Just not sure where to even start.

How do you warm kids up to this stuff? What kind of activities are best at the beginning? What kind of consultation should I provide their mother?

I'll quantify this by saying I don't have kids, however my parents divorced when I was 5 so I can recall a couple of different experiences of this at varying ages. The only one I recall being successful was when my mum introduced her now husband to us when I was like 11 or 12 and he basically plied me and my sisters with sweets whenever he turned up and we've gotten on great ever since.

My dad's second wife actively denied us sweets and tried to use her social worker skills on us. I've never really liked her and now they are getting divorced I don't have to talk to the chocolate hater again.
 
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alavaz

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As much as it sucks, there is no easy way out of it. Your son knows someone will come in, so until that stops he will continue until he outgrows it. If it's more hassle to let him scream for a few nights then it is to stay with him every night, then it is what it is. Kids won't give up any routine (good or bad) easily.
 

Arative

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Tried that, tried taking priveleges away, tried ignoring him. At the end of my rope
Does you son still take naps?
Before we stopped naps for my son, he wouldn't fall alseep until 9-9:30. Now it's like taking him 10 minutes to fall asleep.
 

Arative

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He still naps for now. The few times he hasn't napped has been insane

I hear you, I know my kid if he is tired bounces off the walls to keep himself awake. Like yesterday, it was nonstop on the go from about 2pm until 7 when we started our bed time routine. he was out by 7:30. As soon as he calms down, hes just gone.
 

Noodleface

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What’re you feeding this kid?
We have to make him eat, he's super skinny and doesn't care about eating.

He only drinks milk + water, has a lot of fruit and vegetables.. protein when he'll actually eat it.. no later snacking, not much sugar.

He's also pretty off the wall and doesn't listen in general, so I think he may be diagnosed with ADHD when he's of age. The days he has preschool he's a little better because they're constantly moving, but we can take him for walks, have him run around the yard, whatever and he's tsill full of energy all night.

Lately he's been waking up in the middle of the night scared so one of us between th ewife and I is getting no sleep.
 

3301

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We have to make him eat, he's super skinny and doesn't care about eating.

He only drinks milk + water, has a lot of fruit and vegetables.. protein when he'll actually eat it.. no later snacking, not much sugar.

He's also pretty off the wall and doesn't listen in general, so I think he may be diagnosed with ADHD when he's of age. The days he has preschool he's a little better because they're constantly moving, but we can take him for walks, have him run around the yard, whatever and he's tsill full of energy all night.

Lately he's been waking up in the middle of the night scared so one of us between th ewife and I is getting no sleep.

I recommend fish oil for adhd, there are liquid kinds you can put on his food.
 

GuardianX

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I recommend fish oil for adhd, there are liquid kinds you can put on his food.

Are you talking about hitting the Omega-3's?

If so:

Costco Wholesale

Really good, I've been taking multi's for a bit and finding a good kids multi is hard especially for an All-in-one. The "Reports" are all over the place in terms of effectiveness but none of us eat all the things we should be eating, especially without much "Hunter / Gatherer" left in society. Either way, they are nice gummies and have a decent amount of O-3 for kids.
 
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