Personally I wouldn't make him go if he's communicated he doesn't want to.
Especially if this is his first funeral.
This isn't even a varsity level funeral, this is like an NFL level funeral. This is unmitigated heavy heavy stuff. I would imagine most of us had our first funeral experience with a grandparent, or older relative. That's pop warner compared to this. Those can be more celebratory, this is just so hard. I don't think I would have handled it well at 11 if I had to go to something like this.
To that end, I don't know that going or not going will help with confronting the grief. A lot of it is just time and processing it. Finding ways to open up and talk about it. That could be a week from now, a month from now, or longer. Checking in with prompts that aren't just "How are you feeling?" or "Are you sure you're doing OK?". Which is like the grief version of "How was school today?" (Not at all saying that's how you'd approach it - just saying generally)
I mean this was not even a week ago at this point. Its got to be so surreal still.
What's certain is, it sucks that you have to be thinking about it and he has to be dealing with it, and that that little girl is gone. Its so horrible I really can't even let myself think about it.
Especially if this is his first funeral.
This isn't even a varsity level funeral, this is like an NFL level funeral. This is unmitigated heavy heavy stuff. I would imagine most of us had our first funeral experience with a grandparent, or older relative. That's pop warner compared to this. Those can be more celebratory, this is just so hard. I don't think I would have handled it well at 11 if I had to go to something like this.
To that end, I don't know that going or not going will help with confronting the grief. A lot of it is just time and processing it. Finding ways to open up and talk about it. That could be a week from now, a month from now, or longer. Checking in with prompts that aren't just "How are you feeling?" or "Are you sure you're doing OK?". Which is like the grief version of "How was school today?" (Not at all saying that's how you'd approach it - just saying generally)
I mean this was not even a week ago at this point. Its got to be so surreal still.
What's certain is, it sucks that you have to be thinking about it and he has to be dealing with it, and that that little girl is gone. Its so horrible I really can't even let myself think about it.
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