Parent Thread

mizovax_sl said:

Get ready!

#7 and #9 are the only two I haven't been through, with two kids.

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Those made me laugh. Experience most of those on a daily basis. It is amazing how much room something so small can take up!

My 2 year old makes sucha fucking mess. Every god damn time she eats, it is like the ghosts from Casper. Fuck I want to beat her when she does that.

My mother gave him a gay ass hair cut. Pretty pissed about it.

The only justice would be for you to give her a gay ass hair cut in return.

I'm a new dad and my son is almost 10 months old now. I look forward to sharing with everyone here. Great thread.

Very proud and happy dad of a 4yo little girl and a newborn boy. Not to be over the top about it, but I am still amazed at how much more fulfilling and complete life seems since becoming a dad.

My wife is 2 1/2 months pregnant(1st for us both), and we just told our parents.

This thread terrifies me.

ZyyzYzzy_sl said:

Have a daughter on the way. My wife is due late April and after having have watched my 4 year old niece quite a bit, I'm terrified.

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I've got a kid on the way myself and is due at the end of April. Finding out the sex on Wednesday.

2 Sons, 4 year old and 2 year old.

I didn't want any kids, I'm a self serving mofo. Wife talked me in to 1. She got pregnant the first time we had sex with no protection. After my son was 6 months old she asked me when I was getting my Vasectomy. I said "Lets have 1 more, lets start trying now." and she flipped out. I just really love being a dad.

Now, that said. 2 kids is about 500 times harder than one, at least at first. They are just now getting to a cool place where they can play with each other, and I rarely have to deal with one screaming and crying and knocking a glass off the table shattering it, while the other is shitting on the carpet and then walking through it and running from me, leaving shit footprints everywhere. That really happened one day. I have no idea how anyone manages being a single parent.

But for every nightmare story, you have like 1,000 moments where you go AHHHHHHHHHHH and want to just cry at how happy they make you.

Just last night I was up at like 1 a.m. playing some Minecraft in my game room, and my 4 year old walks in half asleep. I said "Hey Buddy, what'cha doing?" and he walked over, hugged me, and said "Knuckles". So I fist bumped him and he walked off saying "Love you daddy" and went straight back to his room and passed back out. Just a little thing, but makes you feel like king of the world.

Onoes_sl said:

2 Sons, 4 year old and 2 year old.

I didn't want any kids, I'm a self serving mofo. Wife talked me in to 1. She got pregnant the first time we had sex with no protection. After my son was 6 months old she asked me when I was getting my Vasectomy. I said "Lets have 1 more, lets start trying now." and she flipped out. I just really love being a dad.

Now, that said. 2 kids is about 500 times harder than one, at least at first. They are just now getting to a cool place where they can play with each other, and I rarely have to deal with one screaming and crying and knocking a glass off the table shattering it, while the other is shitting on the carpet and then walking through it and running from me, leaving shit footprints everywhere. That really happened one day. I have no idea how anyone manages being a single parent.

But for every nightmare story, you have like 1,000 moments where you go AHHHHHHHHHHH and want to just cry at how happy they make you.

Just last night I was up at like 1 a.m. playing some Minecraft in my game room, and my 4 year old walks in half asleep. I said "Hey Buddy, what'cha doing?" and he walked over, hugged me, and said "Knuckles". So I fist bumped him and he walked off saying "Love you daddy" and went straight back to his room and passed back out. Just a little thing, but makes you feel like king of the world.

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My daughter, about a month ago, decided to start pooping mid diaper change. But she had to get up and crawl away while she did it. Then she sat up to look at us chasing her down, and started bouncing, mashing more and more shit into the carpet each time.

I go to bed fairly early every night to get up for work, so I usually go to bed before my son does. Every once in a while he'll come into my room, wake me up from a dead sleep, give me a kiss and say "bye dada, see you later" and walk out closing the door behind him. Can't get mad about getting woken up for that.

Also congrats to you fellas expecting your first. They really do change your life for the better...sometimes it just takes a while to realize it.

I don't think two is really that much harder than 1. I thought it would be, but I guess I was just more prepared for it. The third one was and is fucking crazy.

My horror story to scare all the single people: about a year and a half ago my daughter woke up sick. She was coughing really bad and then just started puking all over her crib.So we went in there, calmed her down, cleaned everything up, and put her back to bed. Just as we are getting back into bed she does it again. So we clean up all the vomit, again. Clean her up and calm her down, again. This time we take her downstairs just to let her fall asleep. Being the genius parents we were, we decided to ive her some watered down gatorade and crackers. Because Brawndo has electrolytes that toddlers crave. After an hour, everything is good, she is tired. I pick her up to carry her upstairs and she vomits all over me and into my mouth. Now I am faced with a dilemma: I could spit it out and freak out, scaring my already crying and suffering baby, but that is some kiddie shit. The only option I had was to just swallow the little bit that was in my mouth and deal with her. So I manned up and swallowed that shit, cleaned her off, put her in bed, and vigorously brushed my teeth.

About two months ago, my 2 year old (who is not ready for potty training yet)was going through a phase of pulling her pull ups off constantly. I ended up having to duct tape them at night, but during the day I just dealt with it. So my wife is out of town, I am watching the girls. They are coloring and watching some stupid show while I make dinner (a lovely chicken marsala with broccoli and olive oil orzo pasta which they did not eat at all, fuckers) and I look over and see that she has taken her pullup off again. I finish up what I was doing really quick and go in the living room, she has taken a man sized shit in the middle of the floor. And is now sitting naked on the couch, bouncing up and down to Yo Gabba Gabba. These two incidents alone took like 3-4 years off my life.

Super Bowl Sunday of this year, my son was feeling cruddy. Worse than he had ever been in the past. Wife and I were really worried...borderline ER visit. He wasn't eating, or drinking, wasn't filling his diapers...when he was awake he wouldn't move. Just laid still with his eyes open. I went to the nearest store and bought every different kind of pedialyte/knock off, in every different flavor, because the nurse my wife talked to suggested that would help. He was throwing up rainbows all afternoon from us trying to get him to even just sip from whatever flavor he wanted. Fast forward to game time...I went back to the store for chips, and dip, and I figured I'd pick up some Gatorade, since he wasn't drinking the kid's stuff, and he really loves gatorade. So I bought a couple big bottles of the fruit punch. He started eating some of the chips, but was taking his time. Had some gatorade in a sippy cup, and went to town on it. Chugged the whole damn thing. 5 minutes later, fountain of red puke all over the front of him, the couch, the floor, the bag of chips and the bowl of dip...

Seemed like he was back to his usual self afterwards, though.

Yeah I don't see us doing the cosleeping thing.

I do want the baby in the room with me at the hospital but my house isn't that big. Its a 5 second walk from my bed if that much. We're going to get a lazy boy recliner rocker for the room so if someone has to spend a lot of time in there it should be really comfy.

Nursing in bed for the first few months is the best thing ever. I was able to sleep through feedings which REALLY helped on sleep deprivation. I will still bring my 7 month old into my bed sometimes when I am just too tired to feed her in the chair in her room. (I wish she was sleeping through the night, 2-3 feedings a night for this long sucks).

what the fuck, how much does that kid eat?

She's a big girl and needs energy to work on her walking!

But honestly she barely eats anything at night time feedings. I think it is more habit/comfort. I've tried to just let her cry, but she just keeps crying and I don't sleep anyways.

Ah, yeah. We did that with our first but after our second came we broke her like a wild mustang. Fuck all that. It was stressful, but it really didn't take that long.