Parent Thread

Father of a 3 1/2 yr old and a 10 month old. Both boys (Booyah!)

For all of you on the fence about wanting kids cause you've looked after neices/nephews etc and just want to strangle them, its an entirely different experience with your own. Seriously, your own children will not annoy you nearly as much as someone elses kids.

As for shows to watch, me and my oldest like to watch The Amazing World of Gumball. It has some pretty good humor involved with it.

Kids though, oh man they can really change you. I have never been a truly emotional guy before but literally the day my son was born a switch clicked in my head and I started having, well I guess you would call them feelings. It blew my mind and continues to blow my mind. As an example, Id watch a movie back in the day and my wife would be in tears and Id just be all ok thats sad I suppose, but now Im watching these shows and starting to feel my eyes welling up and ive got to contain it to avoid the years of backlash from the wife when I made fun of her.

The things they say are just adorable. I asked my oldest if he wanted to watch some football with me and his response was "No thank you daddy, Im a big boy, I wanna watch cartoons"

But definately be prepared to have the focus on them. You have another life in your hands and you should want to do everything in your power to make sure its a good one.

And for the new parents. Babies are gross and poop and pee alot. You may think oh like Ill have to change a diaper 5 times a day but fuck no, those little things are machines when it comes to that. Dont be suprised when you change a baby 10-15 times a day and like 90% of them contain some form of poop. And baby poop is fucking disgusting.

OneofOne_sl said:

Did anyone actually look at their wife's body during the c-section surgery? The table they took my son to to clean him, cut the cord, etc was past my wife's feet. Walking to it I saw a big metal basin full of blood drenched rags (or something) and that was MORE than enough for me and I actually had to kind of turn away as I walked past the surgery bed. They take the uterus out of the body during a c-section, and I just don't think I could handle seeing my wife's insides on the outside

Also didn't cut the cord. That (Carlin?) line was racing through my head - "14 doctors and assorted medical personnel in this room and I'm the most qualified here?" lol

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There was the little curtain blocking our view, but I was able to watch it all by looking at this medical cabinet right next to the bed, I kept commenting on what was going on and giving the Dr's a laugh, was pretty interesting stuff from what I saw, I asked if I could look in her cut open belly but they said I could not get close and had to wait. I feel bad for letting me son watch these shows, but he loves the Regular Show and Adventure Time, if either of them get to weird I will turn them off, but those are some funny cartoons. He also thinks Hank Hill is a good guy, cant argue with that. He is completely turned off on any Nick Jr show pretty much, they are baby shows he says.

And thank you Pilforgod, it is a job I like to take pride in being part of, love the new Explorers. A buddy of mine actually just transferred to the plant that makes those about 2 months ago.

Fidlen_sl said:

For all of you on the fence about wanting kids cause you've looked after neices/nephews etc and just want to strangle them, its an entirely different experience with your own. Seriously, your own children will not annoy you nearly as much as someone elses kids.

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I don't know if I'm alone here, but I disagree. In public and when around other people, my son behaves extremely well. This is usually true of just us at home as well, but occasionally he just seems to have an off day where every little thing is a big deal. If it were some other kid behaving snotty or rude, I could leave it alone and ignore it until that child left. When my own son has attitude problems, it's up to me to try and correct it. I also find that I have much less tolerance for whining and poor behavior for my own son that I do nephews, nieces, etc. I can listen to a nephew whine all day and not give a damn, but if my sons voice goes above a certain octave, it's really grating to me.

For reference, my son is 7, and quickly growing out of the cute stage.

I don't understand not finding out the sex. I am all about being prepared.

My second daughter, we were kind of worried about autism or something similar. I think part of the problem is that our first daughter was legit advanced. She started talking at 10 months, walking at 9, and now at about 3.5 she i smart as shit. She can read some, write all her letters, she's creative, she talks like a much older kid, just all around advanced. I'm not talking about a feeling I've had, like according to the books and my wife's child development classes. But my second daughter just wasn't. She still hadn't talked at 12 months and was just starting to walk. by 18 months she was only saying a handful of words and just acted in general younger, less mature. The pediatrician told us not to worry but we did because that is a really stupid thing to say to parents. But after the 18 month checkup he was finally concerned enough to order a hearing test and it turns out her ears were like full of fluid. So it was like she was under a foot of water hearing anything anyone said. We got tubes put in her ears and within a week we saw a noticeable difference in her language and in general demeanor. 10 months later, she is doing so much better. Which is a relief. I mean, she is still behind in her milestones, but she is catching up. And her speech is getting better all the time, even if it is still hard to understand her, it is hard to understand most 2 year olds so that isn't an issue I don't think. Part of that is, I know, that she was behind to begin with so it is going to take her some years to really get up to speed where we want her to be.

dont understand. what does knowing the sex prepare you for that buying gender neutral stuff won't cover?

We didnt know the sex of our kid until i saw him when he was born, my wife wanted it that way and i was ok with that eventually

When he was born my parents in law asked what his name was going to be, i told them: "Logan" my brother in law immediately yelled, you named him after wolverine? I said yup. My inlaws gave me a blank stare because i named my kid after a comic book character. I never bothered to tell them it was my wife's idea.

Getting a name was pretty easy, at least we had no problems picking a boy name, i cracked a few jokes about calling him Bruce Wayne, because that way if someone asks him "who do yuo think you are?" He can reply "i'm batman!" Wich quickly steered us into the comic book catagory of names, she came up with Logan and i immediately agreed....i laughed my ass off when the first teeth he got were his canines in his upper jaw. He also tends to snarl if he doesnt get his way....but he got that from me because i do that too.

We could not come up with a girl's name, we still didnt know when my wife went in labor, i saw it as a sign.

Both of our kids were delivered naturally. However my wife had to get "cut" for my son, since he was coming out at an awkward angle; mostly into her hip. They used a vacuum on his head to pull him out, which caused a nasty bruise, which caused jaundice. I watched the whole thing...including the delivery of the placenta. They wanted me to cut the cord. I told them I wasn't sure it would be the best idea at the time.

With our daughter, she was in active labor for about an hour, then labor stalled. The nurse had my wife sit up with her legs over the edge of the bed for about 15 minutes. As soon as she laid back down, the nurse checked her cervix, ran to the door, screamed, "I need some help in here!" and as soon as she got back to the bed, the baby slid out. Doctor wasn't even in the room. I manned up the second time around and cut the cord, just to say I did it once!


Park play: We took our kids to a public park during the summer. There was a bouncy rubber bridge my son wanted to play on. He's really cautious, so he took his time stepping onto the bridge. Out of nowhere a girl, probably a year older than him, came up from behind him and shoved him down. My gut reaction was to make sure he was okay, followed by telling the girl that pushing wasn't ok. Fortunately, her mom beat me to it, because I was angry. I wasn't angry because he got pushed. I was angry because, as he stood up, he looked at the girl that pushed him and said, "Sorry." I've never been so pissed off in my life.

What's the normal protocol for that, though? Do I get to tell other kids that their behavior is wrong? Or do I have to find their parents and make them do it?

Etoille_sl said:

dont understand. what does knowing the sex prepare you for that buying gender neutral stuff won't cover?

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Well, why get a bunch of gender neutral stuff? And the room, to me it was important to have that done. We were very worried about paint fumes and shit, but now everything they sell is low/no voc paint. The name, of course, and just mentally preparing for the sex.

I'm not supposed to say this, and I never would, but i was really bummed out about having 3 girls. I wanted a boy more than anything. At that third sonogram I was really disappointed, and I would have hated to have even a little bit of that feeling on the day. I had time to put on my big girl panties and suck it up, so by the day of I didn't even have a tinge of that feeling left. That is a totally selfish and kind of childish feeling, but hey, we're all human, at least i don't pretend to be a chick on the internet.

chaos_sl said:

I don't understand not finding out the sex. I am all about being prepared.

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I can totally understand how you feel, i desperately tried to talk my wife into knowing the sex, but she really didnt want to. I must agree it made it more exciting. And as we didnt really care for the pink and blue we painted the nursery in really bright happy colors, i called it the sesame street room. Red windowsill, blue door, green floor, green and blue striped curtains. White walls and furniture as to not flip the kid out completely.

I was slightly disappointed to find out our second was a girl. My wife claims she knew, prior to the ultrasound. I wasn't convinced, because there are 80% more males in my family, and even my parents' families than females. But after that initial disappointment, I got over it, and then got super into it. I started picking out pinks and purples, and maroons, and dresses. I almost want to say it's normal to feel that way, but I only went through it once, so I'm no expert.

Hey Chaos, glad to hear your daughter is doing fine now that the hearing is resolved. But don't they do a hearing test early on? Here at 3 and 6 months they do a hearing test to see if everything is ok. Or did the fluid in her ears slowly build up?

chaos_sl said:

Well, why get a bunch of gender neutral stuff? And the room, to me it was important to have that done. We were very worried about paint fumes and shit, but now everything they sell is low/no voc paint. The name, of course, and just mentally preparing for the sex.

I'm not supposed to say this, and I never would, but i was really bummed out about having 3 girls. I wanted a boy more than anything. At that third sonogram I was really disappointed, and I would have hated to have even a little bit of that feeling on the day. I had time to put on my big girl panties and suck it up, so by the day of I didn't even have a tinge of that feeling left. That is a totally selfish and kind of childish feeling, but hey, we're all human, at least i don't pretend to be a chick on the internet.

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Nursery is done in terms of paint. Thats one of the things we did this past summer. Gender neutral sea green - going to do an under the sea theme probably or a zoo. All we need is the furniture and wall art. And I already know what furniture I want its just a matter of ordering it.

Gender neutral stuff is fun. One of the things I got was a kushies sleeper off of rue la la. Its a shadowed picture of a dragon. Light blue/dark indigo - was called a girls sleeper but definitely gender neutral. Green/yellow stuff is just fine! Plus its our first; I figure I can hang onto all this stuff for future kids without worrying about having to buy a lot of the 'starter' stuff all over again.

I can definitely see your point of view though by the third kid.

Question for you Dad's out there... my wife is due in April with our first baby boy.

How much time off work did you take?

I have the ability to take about 6-8 weeks off... go go corporate desk job... but I'm not sure when to start taking it in relation to the baby being born. I've heard that the first couple weeks after the baby is born. I'm considering not starting my FMLA time off until week 2, but what do you other Dads think?

Thanks!

I was unemployed when my first was born. I probably would have taken time off otherwise. When my daughter was born, I had planned to take a few days off around the scheduled due date, but she came 3 weeks early. She was born Saturday night, and I was back to work Monday.

I remember thinking about the financial side of things, though. How much time off would start to cause a significant decrease between pay periods? At the time my daughter was born, I was making probably $900 a week. I'm far better off now than I was, but I didn't know I would be at the time she was born, so taking time off was really not something I figured I -should- do for the sake of money.

We are finding out the sex. The rest of my life is going to be a fucking surprise. I'd like to know one last thing for certain before then.

I took two weeks off, which was fine for our second. She eats so much and they sleep a ton so there isn't all that much to do. Now that she's up more (3months old) I wish I had another two weeks to take off.

Am I the only one that sucks at folding a swaddle?

Swaddling is fucking hard. And you have to have just the right blanket. The hospital ones are perfect, all those gerber and carters blankets are garbage for swaddling. We actually bought some of those swaddled things with the Velcro, they work ok.

Sceleris_sl said:

Hey Chaos, glad to hear your daughter is doing fine now that the hearing is resolved. But don't they do a hearing test early on? Here at 3 and 6 months they do a hearing test to see if everything is ok. Or did the fluid in her ears slowly build up?

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Someone who knows more than me should probably correct me, but I think those initial hearing tests are just gauging a response. She could hear, everything was just muffled and weird. It is weird to think that the first 18 months of her life were like that. The doctors made it seem as if this wast a fairly common thing and had probably been that way from early infancy or even birth.

Off the Left_sl said:

Am I the only one that sucks at folding a swaddle?

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Ahahaha how timely. My wife was just asking me to swaddle our son because she's not as good yet. The "standard" sized cloth (I assume standard because they all came in the same size) suck. A friend made us a bunch that are much bigger, and that makes it much much easier. Son gets all pissy if it's not nice and tight, so I find having the bigger ones allows me more room to tuck the various ends in.