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  • Guest, it's time once again for the hotly contested and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!



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Hosix

All labs matter!
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6,642
jarring at first, at least they don't smell though

Just wait.....kids in the jumper jumping and has a eruption of horrible smelling shit. Then proceeds to keep jumping. Grinding shit into every surface possible. That shit literally moves up your kids back. Into hair....
 
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Xarpolis

Life's a Dream
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15,564
And then comes YEARS of frustration. Kids are great, but at the same time, they really fucking suck.
 
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Kalaar kururuc

Grumpy old man
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My wife purely breastfed #1 and is doing the same with #2. It's harder (for her) as they need feeding more frequently but she's stubborn about shit like this.

It's weird how babies can be so different. #1 was 35th percentile when born (about same for height and weight) but has caught up now, hes sitting at about 65th for both at 3.5 years old. #2 is currently 97th percentile for weight and 93rd for length, hes the same weight at 18 weeks as #1 was at 38!
 

Quineloe

Ahn'Qiraj Raider
6,978
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dunno if this belongs here or in the PC/software thread,

what software or how do you manage how your kids use a PC? my boys are 8 & 10 and they're wanting their own PCs. Right now, they're mostly youtube, roblox and minecraft; but the 10 year old is wanting to play Fortnite. I'm also thinking they would enjoy going through Portal.

I obviously have an extensive Steam library, can they use that at all?
how do you set parental limits on how they can access the net? I know I can control via my router and their IPs, but should I use Windows accounts?
Steam has two different features they're explaining very poorly
first is family view, that way you can give someone access to your own account but limit what they see. You can turn off family view with a PIN in the blink of an eye and see your full library again

the other is family sharing. That's a bit more complicated, it requires you to log into your account on their computer, enable it for family sharing and then they can log into their own steam account and use the parts of your library to play with their own steam account. This means cloud synced progress, achievements and that stuff goes on their account, not yours.
The problem with that however is that it locks you out of your own library. The entire thing. Even if you wanted to play a different game, you can't.
Similiar to how when you want to watch Netflix when you get home from work, but your kid is already watching so you can't use your own Netflix acc... no wait, that's not how it works because Netflix isn't run by morons.
 
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Uber Uberest

rdr^2
<Bronze Donator>
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Enjoy the baby shits. I mean sometimes it sucks when it goes up their back and everything, but just throw away the onesie and everything, don’t even waste time trying to clean. But, it’s nothing compared to the day you go to work and the kid is two and kinda talking to you, and you think about them all day, and then you get home and your wife asks you to change their diaper and all of a sudden they’re shitting like a 35 year old man. Not one baby book, nurse, or doctor tells you about that. But trust me, it’s going to happen.
 

Izo

Tranny Chaser
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images

 
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Loser Araysar

Chief Russia Correspondent / Stock Pals CEO
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Got this today and it was a blowout to boot. That look when you realize the “seeds” are curdles milk chunks

when is not a blowout?

all mine are blowouts


btw, did you end up with a boy or girl?
 

Kiroy

Marine Biologist
<Bronze Donator>
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when is not a blowout?

all mine are blowouts


btw, did you end up with a boy or girl?

Girl

The way the world is going its for the best. In the near future cis white males will be hunted and butchered by the translegion when they come of age
 

Ao-

¯\_(ツ)_/¯
<WoW Guild Officer>
7,879
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Hahahaha. Wait til they get on solid foods and are dropping absolute bombs.
Meat... when they finally get to meat it all goes downhill. Veggies/fruit are bad, but meat is... *ugghkfh*


when is not a blowout?

all mine are blowouts


btw, did you end up with a boy or girl?
I thought we had blowouts... until my oldest (but only kid at the time) didn't poop for like 9 days when she was ~8 months old. We were in the last 1/3rd of a 4hr drive, and she shit so much it filled her entire car seat. I had a plastic bag in the car and we filled it with wipes, paper towels, and clothes. We cleaned the car seat out with bleach wipes and then baby wipes, and put the cover into a trash bag.
We refer to the incident as "Poopnami".
I still feel bad every time I drive past that McDonald's where i had to dispose of the evidence....
 
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Hateyou

Not Great, Not Terrible
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I remember my son shit and as I’m changing his diaper and his butthole is pointed directly at the sky it erupts in a volcano of bright yellow liquid shit, and just continues for quite a while. There was nothing for me to do except watch in horror until it finished. That shit is burned into my brain. Especially cause he was just happily babbling away the whole time he’s ruining dads day.
 

Prodigal

Shitlord, Offender of the Universe
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Yeah... moved my daughter 5 hours away to Georgia for grad school two weeks ago. I’ve seen that before, but hits harder now.
 
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