Ready Player One (2018)

Saw it this afternoon with the wife who read the book all I knew about it going in was the horrible Wil Wheaton audiobook we listen to well we were on the way to Texas when we moved here. Not knowing the story I put it as one of Spielberg's worst movies. He should just resurrect Kubriaks cock and suck it on screen for 2 hours rather than keep making movies to show he wants to suck his dick so bad. They dumped almost all the 80s nostalgia and for a movie that criticized ads on the internet it had so much product placement for newer video game companies that I couldn't help but laugh out loud. And the edits they made the story basically to conform it to 2 hours and PG-13 cut out most of what made the book work. It's barely more relevant to its source material than I iRobot was. Anyone who thought that Spielberg still has something in the tank obviously forgot what they saw in Crystal Skull. I see this movie is a general continuation of that with a guy who wrote the book sucking Spielberg's dick and Spielberg sucking Stanley dick and everyone getting high on their own egos without paying attention to what made the book interesting.

If you didn't read the book and like CGI epic fights you'll probably dig the movie. If you read the book prepared of Rage. Your opinion is going to be based entirely on how into the 80s more and the dark tone of the book you were. Also with TJ Miller being himself pisses you off you can knock another point off of this movie though I'm kind of indifferent to him even though he was added whole cloth to the movie.

On further reflection, I like it less than I did when I walked out. I went in looking forward to some 80s noir and future dystopian world, but left with the same kind of disappointment I had after I left The Last Jedi. If I had to point to two things, I would say the inept world building and the ending were my chief complaints (ignoring the book existing). The stacks are supposed to be an overcrowded pile of RVs where people live in desperation for energy and shank each other over government food stamps, but in the first five minutes we see a bunch of people getting drone delivered Doritos and Pizza Hut, plus the park looks a lot like a trailer park redneck passion project meets Willy Wonka. And the ending, Jesus Christ it made zero sense and was ripped straight out of Willy Wonka. And for the final touch, Spielberg tossed in a teaser that calls back to his work finishing AI at the end (wont spoil it, its super obvious) that had me thinking "Just dig up the dudes corpse and fuck it already, Steve." Really, the lack of significant Wizard of Oz style contrast between the Oasis and the real world is probably the biggest flaw in the movie.

On the topic of changing things from the book: Lip syncing Wargames would have been hilarious on screen, but instead we got another gay love letter to Kubrick in its place by subbing in the Shining. Dumping the D&D shit at the beginning also glossed over the entire background of the Halliday, Kira, and Og relationship and the fact that the first key was actually placed someplace poor kids could access it. And if we are trimming the fat, then why the fuck did they add TJ Miller and google eyes security chief diversity hire to the movie? Why the rewrite of the ending where three keys were needed with three people (symbolic callback to the Halliday, Kira, and Og trio) and we got a Street Fighter showdown in place of the hordes of people trying to beat the last game challenge simultaneously? How about the complete rewrite of the aunt into something sympathetic and no sign of Rush World?

I actually have a pretty good idea of what happened here, at least with some of the changes. Spielberg has good will with the Kubrick people, so getting access to his movie to publicly suck his dick on screen was probably easily done. The other things they kept were generally easy to get rights for (or he had them outright, like the Back to the Future shit). The CGI was deliberately retro (did not have to look realistic) and there were basically four physical sets all in the burbs of Toronto from the looks of it. Then there is the wall to wall product plugs in the movie. This movie was made as cheaply as they could, for whatever reason, which is probably why the only recognizable actors in it were Pegg and Generic New British White Villian guy. Somewhere along the line, this movie must have had some serious budget limitations placed on it or else there is zero excuse for the changes beyond Spielberg fucking it up to put his own mark on the material (or blow Kubrick's dead dick). That used to be an area where he made good changes (see Jaws and Schindler's List), but the dude has lost his touch and his edge. I think I am more disappointed in this movie than I was with Crystal Skull.

But....It IS a well polished turd. Pacing was really decent, as the movie did not feel as long as its run time suggests. Aside from the completely WTF Willie Wonka ending, the scenes blended together smoothly and there was not any absurdly out of place acting in the movie (except TJ Miller being himself). The final battle is a good spectacle. None of the characters are outright annoying or a cartoony caricatures. The special effects sequences play well into the story. I would compare this movie to Avatar; a movie a lot of people will praise but never watch again.

PS- I actually like Stanley Kubrick and his works a great deal, but watching Spielberg try to ape him on screen lately irritates me for reasons I cannot entirely grasp.