Shit

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Bandwagon

Kolohe
<Silver Donator>
22,502
58,996
Pooping during the field crew's morning meeting because they always yell at eachother and no one can hear me pooping. Detect a well-formed oak log coming down the chute. Satisfaction turns to horror as it lands broadside and splashes poopwater in my ivory cheeks. Contemplating going home to shower....
 

MusicForFish

Ultra Maga Instinct
<Prior Amod>
31,465
123,598
Pooping during the field crew's morning meeting because they always yell at eachother and no one can hear me pooping. Detect a well-formed oak log coming down the chute. Satisfaction turns to horror as it lands broadside and splashes poopwater in my ivory cheeks. Contemplating going home to shower....
Just use the public washroom sink as a bidet.
 

Quineloe

Ahn'Qiraj Raider
6,978
4,463
Just for you
1593784616475.png
 
  • 1Nationalist
  • 1Comrade
Reactions: 1 users

Izo

Tranny Chaser
18,349
20,961
Ate too much freedom food. It’s comin out the sewer. Thinking of you, FoH.
 
  • 2Like
Reactions: 1 users

Bandwagon

Kolohe
<Silver Donator>
22,502
58,996
Six am, day after short ribs
I throw some ropes down in the dark.
The smell of beef,
Toilet seat is freezing
The world is sleeping
I am numb

She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
Off the coast and I'm headed nowhere
 
  • 1Quality Calories
  • 1Mother of God
  • 1Worf
Reactions: 3 users

Bandwagon

Kolohe
<Silver Donator>
22,502
58,996
Working out of town and staying at my brother in law's house. The site I'm surveying/mapping is huge and less than a mile from his house. Just popped over to drop off a huge Brando Brando and the fart fan is louder than a concert. This is magical.
 
  • 1Like
Reactions: 1 user

Bandwagon

Kolohe
<Silver Donator>
22,502
58,996
Normally when I shit at work, especially monday mornings, I give a perfectly timed courtesy flush that's really meant to cover up the initial trumpet blast that I use to signify the end of the weekend. This morning though, I had a little badger bark escape while I was rocking my cheeks into place and one of the draftsmen apologized for leaving the mop bucket out when I left the bathroom. He thought the sound he heard was me tripping on the mop bucket.

"'Twas me Arsehole", I thought, but I just said "no problem".
 
  • 1Worf
  • 1Mother of God
Reactions: 1 users

DickTrickle

Definitely NOT Furor Planedefiler
12,758
14,598
It's crazy to think that the next poet laureate resides here on our very own forum.
 
  • 2Like
  • 1Worf
Reactions: 2 users

DickTrickle

Definitely NOT Furor Planedefiler
12,758
14,598
Slowly turning into one of the greatest threads on the forum.
 
  • 1Solidarity
  • 1Bullshit
Reactions: 1 users

pharmakos

soʞɐɯɹɐɥd
<Bronze Donator>
16,306
-2,239

"Turkish academic and archaeologist Vuslat Müller-Karpe has been buried in the 3,800-year-old Hittite city of Kayalıpınar, where she conducted excavations for years..."

O_O WTF

"...after she died on Aug. 7."

Oh phew.
 
  • 1Worf
Reactions: 1 user

Bandwagon

Kolohe
<Silver Donator>
22,502
58,996
A Road-aged turd finally arrives,
Forged in a lobby and hardened by drives,
Reluctantly banking around my final turn,
Initial satisfaction begins to burn.
 
  • 1Like
  • 1Worf
Reactions: 1 users

Bandwagon

Kolohe
<Silver Donator>
22,502
58,996
New house on a hundred degree morning,
Waiting for the carpet guy when my guts start snoring,
Urgency turns to emergency halfway to the can,
This one will rattle the porcelain and strain the fan.
 
  • 4Worf
Reactions: 3 users

pharmakos

soʞɐɯɹɐɥd
<Bronze Donator>
16,306
-2,239
the oldest of the three children who are staying at the place i'm currently at has decided that i am a PeePee Head, he is a PooPoo Head, his sister is a Butthead, and his little brother is.... ah dammit i forgot. he's very insistent and specific on all this and has actually put quite a bit of thought into it.
 
  • 1Worf
Reactions: 1 user