Shit

Alasliasolonik

Alasliasolonik

Toilet of the Mod Elect
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when i was 16 i was dared by my friend during a sleep over to order a pizza and when the driver shows up at the front door, to 'give them their tip' by shitting through the mail slot'. so the driver shows up and through the intercom i tell him to leave the pizza on the porch and that the money is there too, i then tell him to wait at the door as i forgot his tip and will give it to him in a minute. i run to the door with my pants down and lift open the mail slot and say 'hello' and see this little vietnamese guy waiting for his tip. i smash my ass into the mail slot as much as i can and position my asshole 'excuse me sir what are you doing?' is all i can hear before i start crowning and finally let loose. i manage to shit one turd through the mail slot before i begin cracking up and misposition myself in relation to the door slot and end up shitting the rest inside the door on my side. 'oh god oh my god what is wrong with you!?' is all i can hear before i really lose it and start howling laughing. by this time im on the floor with my pants around my ankles and the driver now is pushing the mail slot in to see inside my house to make sure im ok. i immediately see this and get right back up and smash my ass up into the mail slot again to try and shit in his eye. 'are you crazy!?' says the driver as i end up just farting through the mail slot as ive already ran out of poop. i take notice and start 'talking' through my ass kind of like in ace ventura 'hey you, feed me! put a piece of pizza in my mouth!' as my shitty asshole is appearing to sound out words. the driver then high tails it to his car. later that night i get a call from that same pizza place saying that we are banned from ever ordering there again
 
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Ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch,
Ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch,
Ouch ouch ouch ouch ow.
 
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Kolohe
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Saving it up and Biden my time,
Pun was intended and it fits just fine,
Back to the matter at hand, figuritively speaking,
This one is a core sample that's oddly reeking,
Of meals, temporally spaced and defined,
With aromas of almonds and notes of swine.
 
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2e79e633-2ddd-4daf-8086-8dec7f1456fe_100_h_6.gif

Hey sadris sadris - on the topic of butthole pleasures, what's the source of your #1 butthole pleasure memory? Poop or penis?

Because this current doodoo, the one happening right now, is a real toe curler.
 
AladainAF

AladainAF

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man i was taking such an epic shit today i was scared to push it out in fear it would tear my asshole open. So weird, since I eat a good diet with lots of fiber, but shit was like a lead bar out of my ass. Jesus christ.
 
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Pro tip - a hefty rum diet helps solve the problem of poo bricks bigger than your asshole.


Mine was amazing and made me glad to be alive. Today was a good day
 
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I shit naked because I don't like my clothes touching any part of the toilet, especially around the base/floor. Waiting for the day that I forget to lock the door at work and someone walks in to see me butt-naked browsing FOH on the can
 
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Alasliasolonik

Alasliasolonik

Toilet of the Mod Elect
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Bandwagon said:
I shit naked because I don't like my clothes touching any part of the toilet, especially around the base/floor. Waiting for the day that I forget to lock the door at work and someone walks in to see me butt-naked browsing FOH on the can
Click to expand...
I kinda pictured you like a supervillain with drones floating around you at all times. One for your phone, one for a juicebox or something and one is just blasting music. Just jimmy up a curtain rod on one and now you have a privacy screen!
 
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Alasliasolonik said:
I kinda pictured you like a supervillain with drones floating around you at all times. One for your phone, one for a juicebox or something and one is just blasting music. Just jimmy up a curtain rod on one and now you have a privacy screen!
Click to expand...
Only when I'm on a job site. The rest of the time I'm in carharts with a lip full of dip and doing everything I can to avoid tech. Largely because I'm tired of my rural life being saturated with urban influence.
 
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Butt log, nut log, got turned around,
Left turn, right turn, upside down,
Breach birth, baby girth, please flush down.
 
Araysar

Loser Araysar

Chief Russia Correspondent / Stock Pals CEO
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Alasliasolonik said:
when i was 16 i was dared by my friend during a sleep over to order a pizza and when the driver shows up at the front door, to 'give them their tip' by shitting through the mail slot'. so the driver shows up and through the intercom i tell him to leave the pizza on the porch and that the money is there too, i then tell him to wait at the door as i forgot his tip and will give it to him in a minute. i run to the door with my pants down and lift open the mail slot and say 'hello' and see this little vietnamese guy waiting for his tip. i smash my ass into the mail slot as much as i can and position my asshole 'excuse me sir what are you doing?' is all i can hear before i start crowning and finally let loose. i manage to shit one turd through the mail slot before i begin cracking up and misposition myself in relation to the door slot and end up shitting the rest inside the door on my side. 'oh god oh my god what is wrong with you!?' is all i can hear before i really lose it and start howling laughing. by this time im on the floor with my pants around my ankles and the driver now is pushing the mail slot in to see inside my house to make sure im ok. i immediately see this and get right back up and smash my ass up into the mail slot again to try and shit in his eye. 'are you crazy!?' says the driver as i end up just farting through the mail slot as ive already ran out of poop. i take notice and start 'talking' through my ass kind of like in ace ventura 'hey you, feed me! put a piece of pizza in my mouth!' as my shitty asshole is appearing to sound out words. the driver then high tails it to his car. later that night i get a call from that same pizza place saying that we are banned from ever ordering there again
Click to expand...

Your parents did a shitty job raising you.
 
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Monday morning, bathrooms fresh,
Weekend cleaner, no pissy mess,
Smells of lemon, smells of bleach,
Those smells fade after a turd's breach.
 
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Erronius

Erronius

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The older I get, the worse my asscheeks get glued together while I sleep. Some days I wake up and it's like there's an entire fudge brownie smashed in there. I don't know if it's from cutting farts in my sleep, or if my asshole just seeps a little bit of fecal crisco while I snore away.
 
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Erronius said:
The older I get, the worse my asscheeks get glued together while I sleep. Some days I wake up and it's like there's an entire fudge brownie smashed in there. I don't know if it's from cutting farts in my sleep, or if my asshole just seeps a little bit of fecal crisco while I snore away.
Click to expand...
Amod Amod please close this thread. Immediately.
 
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