Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

Lightspeed skipping, ok, then why are the fucking fighters jumping with you? They know the fucking plan? Face-palming less than 10 minutes into the movie.

So lets see, they do a recreation of the "I find your lack of faith disturbing scene", but of course kick it up a JJ notch, into the retarded chase scene with the "they fly now" jokes then C3PO tells more dumb jokes "Great job sir, NOT great job sir!"

Then there is a scene where Mary Sue Retton jumps over emo Vaders ship, cuts it down, he of course walks out complete unscathed because JJ is a moron, and they fucking have a force fight over an escaping ship. That's right they're so powerful with the force they can fucking stop a flying escaping ship, fight over it, then destroy it with force lightning because Rey can do ANYTHING...

Why does Darth Emo stand there and let them take off though, he just proved he can fucking stop a flying ship with the force. I guess shit just happens when its convenient.

Fuck off, JJ is the worst fucking director alive.

TFA was trash, TLJ was an abomination, and this is worse.

chewie actually breaking down when he finds out leia died... his only job is to roar incoherently throughout the movie and he's the only one that actually displayed real emotion... and then when he gets a medal at the end. broseph finally gets some recognition...

"Sorry master, couldn't find the girl"

"That's ok my student, onto plan b. First you must go and hide your navigation beacon in the ruin of the death star"

"Ok..."

"Now carve 'I hid my navigation beacon in the ruin of the death star' into your dagger"

"... ok"

"But carve it in Sith ! So noone can read it"

"... uh"

"Now sink yourself into quicksand on a random planet and hope she stumbles across your lifeless corpse at some point in the future where she wants to come visit me. Make sure the dagger is very obvious so she doesn't miss it"

"... uh master, I have some reservations about this plan"

"Trust me, it'll work !"

The inclusion of all the different Jedi actors in the 1000-generations-are-in-you scene. Especially making sure that Ahsoka Tano and Kanan Jarus are loud and prominent thus cementing their role in things.

Having an actual adventure with the three leads together for the first time in the trilogy. There should have been a lot more of this as they do play off each other well. Their banter was well written and had a natural humor to it.

Chewie's anguish when hearing that Leia had died.

Wedge's cameo manning the Falcon's guns

Babu Frik, especially that he was just a puppet and not some CGI monstrosity

Light-Speed-Skipping as the equivalent of hammering the Hyperspace button in a game of Asteroids. I know it was added to help explain away the Holdo Maneuver as being not a viable battle strategy, but it fucks with every conceivable notion of hyperspace and travel times in the whole damn Star Wars universe.

The Final Order Fleet being trapped on Exoogol and dependent on a signal tower. It was a hamfisted explanation for the fleet not just immediately launching and blowing up the fucking galaxy and it made no goddamn sense.

The Emperor sending out a 'I'm gonna attack in X hours... please come at me bro' message while also having a super powerful fleet that was stuck in place.

No balance to the Force. The whole freaking thing, since day one, has been how being out-of-balance with the uptight Jedi led to all these problems AND that the original Jedi were quite-likely much better at using the Light and Dark sides not as good and evil but as a Yin Yang thing. So at the end all the Sith are gone and the Last Jedi Skywalker stares off into the sunset without any indication that the future will be different.

The Final Order has somehow been hiding out here for decades with no one noticing (where do they get their materials? Their funding? Who the fuck is feeding all these people? Is it the Imperial Remnant? Was 'Snoke' sending stuff their way all along and if so why does no one know about it? Goddamn it at least have Kaminoans doing their Clone thing alongside the Emperor and maybe some of the original bad-gang from the prequel trilogy (banking clan, maybe all the Geonosians that had been reportedly wiped out by the Empire, all those fuckers) be the supply chain that he has been squirreling away for decades.

The Sith Troopers being, somehow, even less effective than OT Stormtroopers. Other than looking snappy in Red (and as a design motif it really does work well with the admixture of red into First Order white and black even though red was the accent color of the last film...) they do absolutely nothing. Less than nothing really.

The Dagger 'showing the way' such that it only works if you were standing EXACTLY where Rey was standing. That's some precision foreseeing and then subsequent blacksmithing, and if you have foresight with THAT much clarity then how the fuck do you get stuck with your pants down at any time? This sort of archaeology puzzle works when dealing with stone temples and mountains and shit, not with miraculous remains of a crashed space station as seen from a quasi random point along the shore.

The crashed Death Star having not been scavenged to death and/or turned into a memorial along with a gift-shop in the throne room. I thought from the previews that maybe it got blown through hyperspace to some hidden location which would explain why it was newly discovered. Nope... its just another moon of Endor.

Knights of Ren that are basically just the biker gang that Ben Solo ran with during his rebellious youth. They even have a ship that's rolling coal to show just how badass they are.

Hux's continued descent into punk-ass-bitch. He was a strong and practical aspect of the Force Awakens with his father's whole 'stealing kids and brainwashing them into super soldiers' plan and then ever since then he's just been dumb comedy. There's no reason that Richard E. Grant's character couldnt have been Hux, could even have helped explain where the Final Order was getting its shit from if Hux had been working for Palpatine this whole time.

Not even a hint, despite the ending of Last Jedi, that there are other Force Users out there for Rey to train. I thought that is where she was going at the end, with wanting to set up a new Skywalker temple dedicated to balance on the site of Luke's childhood home...but nope.

No connection back to Naboo, or Coruscant, or anything prequel trilogy related. I guess Coruscant is just Detroit now? Everyone kinda forgets the planet that was the capitol of the galaxy for the past several thousand years? Why not have just blown it up in TFA? Or use it as the 'demostration planet' for the insanely powerful Star Destroyers? "Target a planet they care about...' like the one they didn't know existed until a couple hours ago?'