Holy FUCK you guys both suck. I registered just to read this thread, yes, but all it has done is depress me. If I had to choose, yes, I'd choose Tyen.
But why the shit are either of you dating or banging anyone? In what world is it a good idea to have another commitment right now while legally married to the father/mother of your children? So someone cheated once or twice or whatever--get a fucking divorce or go to therapy, neither of you have any business AT ALL involving third parties into this fucking disaster. How many love stories begin, "I met him while I was legally and fully married to someone else. We had a full relationship and posted on an internet forum about my alcoholism and his autism, and now it's 5 years later and we're going strong!"
It started as kinda funny but it's now just sad. You both need help, and Trex more than Tyen but still, both of you need to get your shit together and stop ruining your children's lives with selfishness and other boyfriend/girlfriends. Finish your shit, get the divorce, get your lives in order.