Terrible & appealing invention ideas

Chukzombi

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a funnel to help drunk people pee in the toilet. nothing mor embarrassing than getting fucked up and you cant get your willy aimed right in the urinal/toilet. you end up pissing on your shoe or even in your pants.
 

Lanx

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Lanx Lanx that one is for you
i mean, the bidet is angled in a way that it'll hit the asshole of a normal person, sure you install it differently and for that my wife and i have our own bidets in different toilets
 

Bandwagon

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i mean, the bidet is angled in a way that it'll hit the asshole of a normal person, sure you install it differently and for that my wife and i have our own bidets in different toilets
What? If it was angled correctly I'd be shitting right on top of it every time. Half the time it tenderizes my tendies after ricocheting off my asshole. And why the fuck do I need it to be pinpoint-focused like a dental water pick? I'm looking for volume, not force. I swear, my asshole-clencher must have gotten 3x stronger since I bought that thing just because I'm trying to keep from getting violated by it on the lowest setting. I hate dirty butts so I tolerate the thing, but godamn....where can I go to test drive some bidets before getting a new one?

And what's the age where guys are supposed to start going to the butt doctor? I feel like that guy is going to compliment me on a pristine asshole right before telling me to cut back on whatever's been causing the bruising the first time I have an appointment.
 
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lurkingdirk

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What? If it was angled correctly I'd be shitting right on top of it every time. Half the time it tenderizes my tendies after ricocheting off my asshole. And why the fuck do I need it to be pinpoint-focused like a dental water pick? I'm looking for volume, not force. I swear, my asshole-clencher must have gotten 3x stronger since I bought that thing just because I'm trying to keep from getting violated by it on the lowest setting. I hate dirty butts so I tolerate the thing, but godamn....where can I go to test drive some bidets before getting a new one?

And what's the age where guys are supposed to start going to the butt doctor? I feel like that guy is going to compliment me on a pristine asshole right before telling me to cut back on whatever's been causing the bruising the first time I have an appointment.

This whole post reads like poetry.
 

Lanx

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What? If it was angled correctly I'd be shitting right on top of it every time. Half the time it tenderizes my tendies after ricocheting off my asshole. And why the fuck do I need it to be pinpoint-focused like a dental water pick? I'm looking for volume, not force. I swear, my asshole-clencher must have gotten 3x stronger since I bought that thing just because I'm trying to keep from getting violated by it on the lowest setting. I hate dirty butts so I tolerate the thing, but godamn....where can I go to test drive some bidets before getting a new one?

And what's the age where guys are supposed to start going to the butt doctor? I feel like that guy is going to compliment me on a pristine asshole right before telling me to cut back on whatever's been causing the bruising the first time I have an appointment.
are you sharing the bidet with your wife? maybe you have it set on feminine cleaning mode, and your butthole is actually being railed by the pussy setting
 
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BrutulTM

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Coffee with a shorter caffeine half-life.

Alcohol with a much shorter half life.

I know this is a year old but a podcaster I like has said for years that instead of banning/regulating mind altering drugs, we should be funding a lot of scientists to try to invent better ones that wouldn't lead to addiction and maybe have an antidote that you could take whenever you wanted. So you go to the club, take a pill that gives you the upper/downer/hallucinogenic effect that you like, party all night, then take another pill and 15 minutes later you're stone sober for your drive home.
 

Hateyou

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Cheese made specifically for Asians Americans. Hmm wait.
D1107E6F-C672-4A1E-BA8B-9B977D349CD5.jpeg
 

Hoss

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A dash cam running recognition software that can keep track of the speed limit signs it sees. It needs to have a little display to show you. This way there's no more guessing when you see a cop. You'll always know what the last speed limit sign was that you passed.

Once it's refined, maybe it can even start to visually recognize cops. Pair it up with the standard radar / Laser detectors.
 

Chukzombi

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A dash cam running recognition software that can keep track of the speed limit signs it sees. It needs to have a little display to show you. This way there's no more guessing when you see a cop. You'll always know what the last speed limit sign was that you passed.

Once it's refined, maybe it can even start to visually recognize cops. Pair it up with the standard radar / Laser detectors.
i think some satnavs do announce speed limits on certain roads.
 

BrutulTM

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Google maps will put the speed limit as well as your current speed on the screen as you drive. It doesn't have 100% accurate speed limit data though I've noticed. Your speed even turns red when you start to break the speed limit.
 

Hoss

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Google maps will put the speed limit as well as your current speed on the screen as you drive. It doesn't have 100% accurate speed limit data though I've noticed. Your speed even turns red when you start to break the speed limit.

yeah any GPS does. But it is not accurate. That's why I want one that actually sees the signs. There's always a chance that an 18-wheeler will be in your way or something, but at least that's plausible when the cop pulls you over.
 

Captain Suave

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I want a remote VR-controlled all-terrain robot with a crossbow so I can put it in my attic and crawlspace and shoot rodents.

Also where the fuck is my Intellectual Ventures photonic mosquito laser fence?